I work in a supermarket on the customer service desk/kiosk. People have been so rude, a guy kicked off at me because his cigarettes were out of stock. He was proper ranting, I was dying to say well if that’s your biggest problem mate you are one lucky man!!!
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You just shouldve said calm down dear … there are worse things at sea ! Reslly … people are awful these days 
not all thank goodness or where would we be ? X
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Thanks everyone for your comments here! You couldn’t write it could you? I’m less than two weeks from suddenly losing the love of my life and I‘ve already had ‘at least you’re in the will’ (as if I care) and, even better, would you like to help out at the church Christmas party. It’ll take your mind off it’ !!! That second one was less than 48 hours after he passed. And these are supposed to be my friends!!! As I say, you couldn’t write it. (Incidentally, I do also have some lovely people in my life who have laughed, cried and carried me over the last few days). My best wishes to everyone x
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Some people can be so selfish!! Can’t they maybe they don’t realise how hurtful words mean …. I’m independent person never ask anyone for anything but the one time I needed my mother the day of David funeral but surprise surprise she wasn’t there because it wasn’t about her at the time as you all know we just numb , now on reflection realise how selfish she is …. Take care all get through new year best we can 
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Seriously 2222 this so called fiend needs to think before opening her mouth obviously they don’t have an ounce of common sense because they certainly don’t know what love means, albeit she’s a widow but some of us find true love while others it’s not so deep, try and forget what this woman has said you know in your heart that love never dies he’s with you always, take one day at a time x
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@Lin22 thank you , your words mean a lot , I actually think there is only people on this site , that have looked for help , do understand , hope you have a peaceful new year . Sending a hug . Xtake carex
Sending hugs back x
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I dont class my self as a widow he is still my husband he might not be here physically but hes still my husband and always will be, i will always be his wife, people really don’t understand until it happens to them 
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I work in a shop totally get what u mean u feel like shouting are you going through what i am no ur not, people whinge about such stupid things wen ur going theough so much makes u realise how selfish people are x
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I can’t believe that someone could say that to you . I would have to answer back then avoid that person forever . He or she does not know a thing . Don’t listen or even think about what this person said to you . Remember your loved one instead and what they would have said . My sympathy goes out to you . Xx
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Hi @Rugby interesrtng your post about your mother not being there cos it wasnt about her ! My mothers like that ! Did she.go to the funeral ? Honestly i just had my first year xmas without my husband, first conscious xmas anyway. ( because he passed away 8 days before xmas last year and i cant even remember it ) and did anybody in my family invite me at xmas … no they didn’t … my middle daughter did but i declined it , but hindsight wish i hadnt. What gets me is that a year in people think ooh she be better now , doesn’t need support ! Er yes you do, people just dont get it do they ? Its a cruel world out there … i got a lovely neighbour thank goodness. She is only young but very grounded and kind. She bought me a bunch of flowers saturday to say thanks for being a lovely neighbour …and to cheer me up .
Isnt that lovely xx
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Hi deb5 no my mother did not attend the funeral she made some excuses…that was very kind of your neighbour flowers and few kind words go a long way don’t they , well here’s to 2024 and what it brings thinking of you all
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Yeh my mum did exactly the same ! Said SHE needed support ! Ha … funny that cos it was my husband ! People.really are and continue to be bewildering to me in their selfishness ! There are some kind people out there but sometimes i think they’re getting few and far between …
Yeh hope 2024 is better for us all ! X
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@Donnadon , yes I will always be his wife or as he used to say " our lass" .I just like to think he has gone away for a while but is waiting for me to join him . …your so right people don’t and never understand till it happens to them .xtake carex
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@SCk , thank you , I now don’t listen to any negative words ( I have enough going on in my own mind ) so I try and not let anyone upset me . They don’t know how it is or understand , but one day they might . Xtake carex
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What i find difficult to cope with is how people keep telling you “you’ll be ok” or “ you are so strong, you’ll be fine” or “time heals” I’m sure many mean that but most of the time it feels like they are trying to minimise the impact of the loss, pain and suffering so they don’t feel guilty or responsible. I nursed my soulmate of 30 years for eight horrific months after he was suddenly diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. And yes i was strong, yes i managed to do things i never thought possible but it was because it was for him. Once he took his last breath he took my soul with him. And now i only have my memories to treasure
And the fake politeness, or the ‘snap out of it’, or the ‘im with you’ make me want to scream. They are not with me and my broken soul
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Hi @EtiM,
Yes, it is just ghastly.
Many (but not all) people frankly seem to be at best clueless when it comes to talking to the bereaved. At worst some are just destructive and cruel. It is a very hard thing to deal with especially when the person concerned is someone you sort of thought would be helpful/supportive. The tendency then comes to mask a lot and I’m not sure that is such a good thing. I try to do it as little as possible now.
Best wishes to you.
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Thanks Lyn,
That’s really sweet of you.
Simon x
Thank you. And to you too