Lara

I’m struggling very badly now even although it’s been 3 years since I suddenly lost my husband. I’m not coping and feel very overwhelmed. Life holds nothing for me now.

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It’s been 4 years for me and whilst I’ve struggled , become numb and suddenly realise as a result I feel no energy from people . It’s like they seem pointless to me… being alone nobody tells you , you are still grieving. after so long you don’t know what feelings are. Only now have i decided to seek help … I truly know how you feel … we all do on here …

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Thank you Steven. I feel I’m losing my mind.

Hi
I don’t know what it’s like to lose a partner but I have lost my mum I can’t use the d word because to me she hasn’t really left me. Without my mum my life means nothing to me.

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Hi @laraine.g1 have you considered seeking professional help? Grief is always with us but life is precious so you deserve a chance to live happily. I hope you can find a way through. Best wishes xx

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Hi no ive tried professional help couple of times. It didn’t do me any good

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I’ve had professional help but it hasn’t helped at all. I need company. My family don’t care. I feel I can’t go on. :cry:

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No your right it doesn’t help
I found I was going round circles I cried a lot at the sessions I’d feel ok afterwards but I knew it was getting me nowhere
When I got home the loneliness was still there eating away not even my partner living 7 miles away helped me one bit. I can’t even talk to her tell her how I feel. Yet she’s lost her mum and I’m convinced she’s living in silent grief. I don’t try to get her to open up about how she feels. All I’ll get from her is you have to get over it. She even tells me her grief is different to mine. How? When we’ve both lost our mums. She says it’s because I wasn’t that close to my mum. Admittedly and this is my fault I didn’t spend much time with my mum but still doesn’t mean my grief is different to her. God I get so annoyed when my partner says that to me. It actually hurts. Grief is the same when it’s your mum. Or someone tell me I’m wrong.

Dear Lara, I lost my dear Husband 4 years ago and I still feel as you do, but it is sadly normal. Our husbands knew us better than anyone and we knew them better than anyone. The bond that we had is a bond that will be there forever. I also miss my husband all the time and nothing will ever stop me missing him .Take heart that so many of us are on this hard journey as you can see on this wonderful site. Sending love and hugs to all who are sad and grieving you are all so brave XXXXX

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@Steven grief is different for everyone because it’s individual. Everyone responds in their own way and it is connected to the relationship you had with the person you’ve lost. Grief is so complicated and difficult but there are practical things that can be done to soothe and comfort the agony of loss. The difficulty is that these aren’t the same for everyone so it’s a case of finding solutions for yourself. Obviously there will be some common ground but ultimately grief is a unique and lonely experience. Best wishes xx

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Hi @laraine.g1 it’s very sad you are struggling so much. I guess the only thing you can do is build up your life a little at a time. Create a daily routine with simple tasks that will help to soothe your distress. Perhaps incorporate some voluntary work in your life to distract you from your intense feelings? Build relationships through the activities you participate in and little by little you may feel better. I’m not proclaiming to be an expert but have endured a fair bit of loss over the years, including my husband and my parents. After the pain of loss all we can do is to keep going forwards because our loved ones wouldn’t want us to be suffering forever. Best wishes xx

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I’m really struggling and my friends and family are just not listening. No one cares. :cry::broken_heart:

Dearest Laraine, All on this site care about you and understand how you feel as we have all suffered as you have but family and friends do not always get it. I went out into the garden today as it was sunny to do a bit of pruning, but as the grass was wet fell in the bush , sat there and cried for my husband. He was looking down from above the clouds calling me a silly fool I expect!!! So hard without our loved ones support. Remember we all care about you and understand how you feel. Much love and many hugs to you and all on here xxxxxx

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I’m not managing. :cry:

I’ve tried everything you suggested but my grief is getting worse and I’m so lonely.

Dear Lara, you will find that as the days, weeks, months and years go by, that you will still have lots of times that you feel that you just cannot cope but you WILL!! . Over the past 4 years since my darling husband died I have felt the same it is called the New Normal. Grieving for a loved one is something we all suffer from in our lives and it is vile. All on this site are on here because we have felt as you do but you will survive, somehow I have but it has been so hard. Chin up dear one keep posting as all on here understand big hugs to you and look out at the spring flowers that have survived another winter, much love from us all xxxx

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