Leaving site and end of era

I have decided that i can no longer offer anyone anymore helpful advice.
Therefore i am leaving this site, i hope that some of my advice and support has helped grieving members

But it has not helped me at .
I once received a nasty message from a man who asked me. Why are you on this site, when you have been on your own all these years. I doubt if he could cope as i have?

I have also been censored by what i can can powermad so called bullies, who think that they are standing up for weak members
To these bullies i say get a life and stop trying to bully people

Good bye grieving people . You wont ever have my advice or support again
Mr chipps xx

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Dear @Mr-chipps

This post saddens me and I am sorry that you feel you can no longer off anymore helpful advice. I am sure your advice has been of help and support in the past to the Community here.

Unfortunately as with all forums there are some people who will make insensitive comments without realising the damage they are doing to the individual. I am sorry this has happened to you. Everyone has a different grieving story and there is also no time limit on how long an individual grieves.

Thank you for your input on this forum and I am sorry you are leaving. Have you thought about just stepping back and taking a break from here instead?

Once again thank you for all your support here and please take care of yourself. We are here for you at any time should you decide to return.


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Dear Mr chipps. I have read with sadness that you are leaving this site i have read your posts many times and your good and helpful advice and it has helped me some people would say I shouldn’t be on here anymore as I am entering my 3rd year without my husband but too them I will say I am still grieving!! There have been a few people that have left one in particular Sheila Lonely who was such a help to me I miss her posts greatly. Take no notice of these bullies you have unfortunately come across there are more lovely people here than not. I hope you change your mind. Love and best wishes Jenny. X


Hi there
I can’t say I blame you. Unfortuntely there are people suffering from grief and use it as an excuse to show anger and resentment to anyone else that is making the effort to pick up the pieces of their now life. Fortunately these are the minority and most people offer only support.
I have also had some nasty PMessages as well as being attacked on the forum for trying to help or even be positive. Now I rarely look at the forum and when I do reply I keep my message simple for fear of offending people that just don’t want to hear what you have to say.
I have seen some good people leave the site, People that were always there to help and give their time.
I am also in my 3rd year and do have advice to offer but I rarely do anymore. We are all at different stages of our grief and usually we change given time and my heart does go out to the newly bereaved who are so lost.
Good luck to you and thankyou for trying.


Hi @Mr-chipps, I don’t think I have come across you before so I’ve been reading your posts with interest. I am one of those new people to this forum.
My parents died over twenty years ago, it was a different world back them, I cried at both their funerals of course I did but then went straight back to work and normal life. My mum died first and looking back now it never occurred to me how much my dad was suffering without mum.
Over the years friends, family, colleague lose someone they love, I’ve been guilty as many in the past, oh they were old, or should be over it now.
It takes something as devastating as my husband dying and the huge rollercoaster of emotions to see what it is really like and how it effects your every being. I remember my husband saying when our cat had to be put to sleep, will you cry as much for me, if he could only see me now just over a year on.

I don’t think people intentionally mean to be unkind, recently someone said to me, your young enough to start again, just yesterday the person talking to me were so embarrassed they likened my husband’s dying to their marriage split.
I try not to get upset at people’s comments, they often don’t mean it and just don’t know what the right thing to say is.
I now know grief has no timeline, one week, six months, twenty years, I’ve seen that through the many people that post on this site.
I see you have a great many life skills that could benefit us all, it would be a shame to lose that wealth of life experiences.


Debbie thanks for your caring message . I decided that i need to have time to myself instead of putting others first
Some of what you say is accurate . but SADLY a lot is jealousy, because i can explain my position and how i have grieved and moved on?
I have used my life experience and educational qualifications to help others in need
I found that many are trying to milk me for their own benefit etc? I have even created them poems, which i know will help them, but not anymore i am simply putting myself first .

If you want to message me privately, i wont mind.
Otherwise i hope that you can cope and ignore those who to me dont seem to genuinely care about you.
I joined silver surfers and silver friends and now im looking forwards more

i am taking a lot of time off from the site for myself and putting what suits me into my life . Mr chipss x

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Hi Mr Chipps
Thank you for you reply, but I am going to politely disagree.
I have found love, support, fellowship, kindness and friendship from the many genuine people I have encountered on Sue Ryder.
I am sorry you feel let down, but as a christian, I only feel love and compassion for my fellow man/women.
I wish you well and hope you find peace, contentment and happiness in whatever direction you go next.
God bless


Hello @Mr-chipps,

I’m Seaneen, the Online Community Manager. I completely understand putting yourself first; it’s so important to take time away and look yourself if you’re finding the community isn’t helping at the moment. As you can see from the responses on this thread, your experiences have helped others, so thank you.

I just wanted to remind the community that personal attacks are against our Community Guidelines. This applies to posts on the community, as well as private messages. If you see a post or private message that breaks these guidelines, please do report it to us by clicking the flag button. We’ve got more information on how to report posts and private messages here: Tips on using the Online Community

Please do take care, @Mr-chipps, you are always welcome here.


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As you say Debbie you are new to the forum. I can sympathise with Mr Chips as I have also received unpleasant Private messages when I have reached out and tried to help. Thank goodness I had the Admin to turn to and deal with these people. I know of other people who have had similar experiences but as I said these incidents are caused by the minority and we can only feel sympathy that their grief has caused these members to become confused.

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Hi Debbie . I dont have any faith or interest i religions . Becuse of my lack of belief in god , who does not appear to care about people but actually takes@thwm from.us and this makes us sad and lonely .
I mainly gave up on god because he took away my loved ones and the leaders in the church were bullies, as was the vicar.
He did not want women to become bizhops