Wow, if I had to put it into words how I feel that would have been it, I lost my Tommy just over a year ago, we where married for 31 years, together 36 years, he was 20 years older than me, he was 77 when he died. We had no children together, he had 3 from a previous marriage, not dissimilar in age to me, we all got along great until he died, then 2 of them turned into monsters, I felt even more alone, there’s just me rattling around on my own. We had always had a dog but he died the year before Tom. I miss them both so much my heart breaks, I’m trying to move my life on but it’s hard, some days I look at his picture and tell him I love him other days I rage at him, saying you promised you would never leave me, I know it was a promise he could never keep, no one lives for ever, I think it’s just a way for me to vent my feelings. It’s the first time since he went that I have expressed my feelings to anyone.
Hi Tessa, this is the very place to vent your feelings, people on this site know how you are feeling and how impossible it is to cope. It’s very sad that the children turned into monsters, people can be very insensitive I’ve experienced this too. I don’t know how to cope with them but I have had good support from others. As well intentioned the kind ones try to be it really doesn’t help much, grief is so strong and overwhelming nothing seems to ease it.
So lovely,so true❤️
That is beautiful & so very true.
Makes me cry and cry
Sending love and lots of hugs.
This is so true . You definitely have explained it how it is and how it’s going to be. A long hard journey to deal with . You can have friends and family around you but you still feel alone . Three and a half years since I lost my husband and it’s still a struggle. I so much want him to walk back , or wake up from a really bad dream. But no , this is real I am awake . My darling Bas will never return, but he’s always in my mind and my heart . He was the best . Love and miss you Bas xxxx my heart still aches for you xx
So sorry Terry, it’s been a long time but I can imagine that all you want us for them to walk back in as thought you are in a bad dream, I feel the same although it’s been a much shorter time. Will miss them for ever x
That’s a beautiful letter. It’s been nearly a year for me and I am encouraged to hear that some have found some peace. At the moment I can see no light at the end of the tunnel but I am hopeful I will find a new kind of happiness one day as I promised him before he died that I would.
Hello and thank you . Thank you all.
This letter is so absolutely how it feels.
My beautiful boy gave up his valiant attempt to come home in June.
He was, like the descriptions of all your loved ones, the most wonderful husband. We ‘have’ known each other 57 years, since the age of nine (the boy next door) and an inseparable couple since the age of 17.
We had our 43rd Wedding Anniversary in the hospital. Even then, despite being so very poorly, called over the lady with the tea trolley. She said ‘I am sorry sweetheart, you are nil by mouth’ He said ‘Not for me. Can I get a cup of tea for my beautiful wife as our anniversary drink please?’ That was him … always thoughtful, respectful, humble.
I will never get over losing him, my husband, friend, confidante, truly the other half of me.
I do so love my children, grandchildren, family, friends. I do love spending time with them all. The truth though is, nothing feels the same any more.
I keep busy, I ‘distract’ as people say I should. The pain though never eases.
Thank you, truly, your letter is so painfully familiar and comforting.
I am sorry that each of us here have met for the same reason.
My heart goes out to each of you.
X
Beautiful letter explains everything
My heart is totally broken and will never be repaired
I too talk to my Paul constantly he too was my rock and I too wish with all my heart he was in my life
Sadly never but he’s
Embedded in me….
I will never be the same person again
I’m broken……
Welcome Suede
Xx
Dear Bess, what you write us so true for me and I think us all, so sad and heartfelt, lots of love x
Morning Kathy 6
Yes we all feel the same which is comforting as we aren’t losing the plot but ……
I get angry selfish with every other emotion known to man
Why my Paul he didn’t have a single ounce of malice in him never ever had
They say God takes the best well I want him back
This existence is sheer hell
I’m dressed I drive for food ( really eat it) so folks think I’m ok….
I’m totally broken a walking shell
I tell Paul this can hear him saying
Come on you can do this
No honey I can’t
Lolxx
Morning Bess
I guess we can do this one way or another in the hope it gets easier. I certainty can’t see it yet that’s for sure but some people seem to manage. There must be of rest from grief at some stage …… mustn’t there? Just a brief respite where we can eat, smile, look ahead just a glimpse of a better time.
Until that happens, try to keep strong, sending love x
That is beautiful sending big hugs xx
Hi kathy6, that time came for me but it’s different for everyone as is how long it takes. I’m still far from ok with being on my own & still have flashbacks to the moment i lost her. I still cry, my heart still aches & feels broken but i have laughed & smiled at times. I still feel very lonely though. Take care & just go with your feelings & take it day by day. I really hope you feel that moment of relief from it, even if at first just for a few minutes 
You’re absolutely right with this, and you nailed it. I’ve experienced everything you wrote in this poem. But life goes on, only with some difficulty at times. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Much love, deep breath and think positive.
Thank you for this beautiful letter. Although I only lost my husband of 40 years been together 6 weeks ago I can relate to all the emotions. That’s me. Here’s hoping everyone here finds some sort of peace in the future
xxx
Thank you. I am trying my best but failing mostly, will keep trying x
Hi All
I lost Paul july 2022 and I’m failing miserably every day all day………
Xx