Hi bess .i lost my husband in april this year .i got told yesterday to grow up and stop wallowing by someone who was supposed to be a friend .ive been a mess the last few weeks .constantly breaking down .im not wallowing im grieving like everyone else in this group
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@Franky56 Hi, what a very unkind thing to say to someone who is grieving, people just donāt understand do they. An old friend of mine asked āwhat sets you off ā when I was upset. I said everything and anything, how could they not understand what we go through, maybe, sadly, they will understand one day!!
I think the tears will flow for the rest of my life, canāt see how they can stop when you love someone xx
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Hi Franky 56 and Kathy 6
So true
When I see couples now I think one of you just donāt know whatās going to hit you
Tearsā¦ā¦ me anything and everything
Always bought Paul couple of bags of chocolate money from M&S ( aswell as other Christmas presents!)
I see them now and I just fill up
Menās clothes depts ā¦. The same
The list is endless as we all know
Christmas adverts ā¦ā¦ couples!
As you say anything and everything
Itās called being heartbroken
Itās a living hell ā¦ā¦ the āpainā is horrendous
Lolxx
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@Bess1 Thank you Bess, you understand exactly how it is, itās not just the physical person we miss itās much more than that. Take care out there and letās get through Christmas one way or another, goodness knows how but we have to. Sending lots of love xx
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Hi all,
I can empathise with all thats been said in these last few messages. So called friends can really say the most hurtful things & it shocks & upsets you terribly. I hope you can try & get pass this & be ok. Take care x
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@Franky56 i canāt see why your friend said that . She is very cruel . It is still early days . I lost mine in may . Itās a terrible thing to get used to . Shame on her
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@ Franky56
Wallow, cry, scream, talk with him, and ask God. It is really all ok to do all that ā¦ no one should or have a right to tell you otherwise, For only you can feel the deep ripping painā¦ Stay here , and post when you need supportā¦We care, May God send human angels to all of us who lost our beloved.
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Hi Lola A
Deep ripping pain is an excellent way to describe āourā situations
All I can think of now ( and as you all know thoughts constantly change) is
What our Christmas ās have been like and what weād be doing now today tomorrow next week etc etc
We had a motorhome so went away many weekends in the winter ( Paul was a farmer so time way in the summer never happened) Keswick was our favourite place we did York Christmas shopping Paul didnāt do shopping but liked York
Always tea at Bettyās
We went to London the day after Boxing Day till after new year
Always stood by. The Embankment opposite the Eye near Big Ben for NYE fireworks always a show latterly the pantomime at the London Palladium and yes Jennifer Saunders on the radio talking about itā¦ā¦.
What could of been
Now what is is so so different and awful
Why did my Paul get Lung Cancer stopped smoking in 1994
Lifeās a bitch
We have to get through Christmas and new year
How???
Take care
Xx
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Scream and cry as much as you need to, dont even try to stop it xx
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Hi Kathy 6
I do believe you meā¦ā¦ and always have done
I miss my Paul so so much
Xx
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@Bess1 me too, itās been 8 weeks for me, I miss him so much, Iām collecting his ashes tomorrow. I just want part of him home, I hope it feels right, I hope so xx
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@Bess1 you used to have a great time, itās so hard to not have his anymore, I understand, take care xx
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Thank you for this lovely but heartbreaking letter. I have been going along thinking I am doing ok. Then suddenly wham, it all come tumbling down. The past two days have been particularly bad. Simple tasks like cooking for 1, can be really stressful. I miss her so much each and everyday.
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If it feels right then it is right. I was so stressed collecting my husbands ashes but it gives me so much comfort to have him here with me in the home he loved. When my time comes our ashes will be scattered together. Hopefully you will find comfort too.
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Hi All
Comfort in the fact folk here know what I mean and understand ā¦ā¦ thank you
Cooking for 1
Also eating alone
Food shopping for one
In fact doing anything as a āoneā is just bloody awful donāt think the dictionary has a word to describe just how awful it is
Lolxx
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@Bess1 shopping, cooking and eating for one rubs your nose in the fact that you are now one and no longer two. I canāt sit at our kitchen table now as heās not sitting there opposite me, itās unbearable. Donāt know if I can get past this 
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Hi Kathy, I understand completely, I have not been near the dining room table. I eat in my chair, I find no joy in eating anymore.
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May sound stupid but i canāt eat steak anymore because she always cooked it for me. I loved steak but just canāt bring myself to cook it & eat it on my own.
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