Sorry if anyone is offended by this post.I just don’t know what to believe in anymore and I am desperate for some crumb of comfort.We always believed in an after life.My husband said he would find a way of coming back to me He would say he wouldn’t frighten me,but he would let me know he was ok.We had a very loving 51year marriage and we really were perfect together.We had arguments ,but In reality they were trivial,never serious.Since his death in May ,I haven’t dreamt of him,seen him,felt his presence or heard him.No robins,no butterflies.I have even read a couple of passages from the Bible.No comfort anywhere.Today I had a spat with a neighbour over not clearing weeds away from the entrance to the garden.She said I was lowering the tone.She knows I have had 3 bereavements this year.I finished the conversation very childishly by telling her to get stuffed.I came indoors and couldn’t stop crying.I hoped he would come to me ,but nothing.
I’m sorry you have had such a bad day.
Please look after yourself and dont let others upset you Easier said than done surely your neighbours know about your husband and how hard it has been for you
I believe our partners are somehow looking out for us even although they are not around physically. We are feeling sad alone and upset and I’m sure wherever they are they are feeling the same feelings.
I don’t believe we find a life partner when a death occurs that is the end think something else exists for us and we are reunited in the future
Look after yourself
Hello, I have heard said that our loved ones need to heal on the other side so sometimes it can be a long time before we get any signs, whenever ive needed my husbands help I’ve not had any signs, the only time I get signs is when I’m having a good day which is bizarre, somebody said to me that we have lessons to learn here & need to make our own way through & our loved ones aren’t allowed to help us? I too have a neighbour like yours, nothing was said when my husband was here but it started now I’m on my own, some people just aren’t very nice unfortunately.
Hi there. I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my mum in May and she meant the world to me (and me to her). I try to look out for signs, but like others have said, I’ve seen in books mentioned that the souls can take a while to get ‘used’ to their new life in heaven, and it could take up to a year. I have found a lot of comfort in Youtube, especially Matt Fraser. I’m watching one of his videos now, “What Happens When You Die?” (26 minutes long, from a few years ago, definitely worth a watch). It gives me comfort. xxx
Yes, I’ve read that we get signs at major events in our life, i.e. birthdays, weddings, etc. (although my mum passed in May but I didn’t get a sign from her when it was my birthday in August), but I do believe it can take a long time for them to come through after passing.
From what I’ve read also, as you mentioned you say you get ‘signs’ when you’re having a good day… Well apparently that’s quite common. They don’t want to “come through” when we are down and sad. The more we raise our “vibration” and send positive affirmations through, be happy, loving, the more likely they are to get in touch with us! There you go!! xxx
Since I lost my wife of 48 years in January I have quite extensively looked into the question of survival. I am not at all religious but am now convinced our consciousness or soul…call it what you will… continues as does our personality. There is a growing body of science backed evidence to support this. I firmly believe we will be reunited one day. Keep believing
Thank you @UnityMan for your helpful words. I hope with all my heart we meet our beloved partners again. This hope helps me get through the extreme pain I endure from losing my dear husband nine months ago.
Hi, my husband died a year ago. I too have kind of lost all faith, I used to believe in everything. I also have had no signs, bar the odd feather but I think they are just feathers, nothing more.
I think it’s natural to start questioning the meaning of life and do we go on. Our brains need to make sense of the loss.
I don’t believe in mediums either. I have however been studying peoples near death experiences. What I’ve taken comfort from is even though they are unique they are all pretty much the same. This gives me comfort that we do continue afterwards. However, we will only fully know when we have passed. We must try to live in the future, whilst we are still here.
Oh and well done for telling your neighbour to bugger off! Some people clearly have nothing better to do with their time.
I am so sorry you have a bitch of a neighbour. Mum always tells me “when goes around, comes around” and i truely believe that.
My husband passed in July, he was and is my lobster.
I was told that there will be signs he would send once he gets settled, as she put it but on the day they said that he had gone, i was sat outside the hospital and a red admiral came and was perched no more than a foot away. He was never a patient man, always on the go and i could inagine him saying “sod that, im not waiting”
The butterfly sat there for quite a while and did not move even when i did. Now whether that was a sign, i dont know, but i would like to think so. So keep looking and talking to him and i am sure, he will show you that he is with you and always will be. And again with the neighbour, they will need you before you need them because you have us. Take care and stay strong. Xx
@Tearful, I dont think anyone will be offended by your post I know I certainly am not. On the day we interred my darling husbands ashes in the garden of remembrance at our local church we went into the church to light candles for him and the most beautiful butterfly came in and went to the stained glass window above the altar. Now, I hope I am not going to offend anyone but we are not religious but our daughter-in-law is and she asked if we would we do this. It did give us all a sense of peace. Hugs to all. Ann
I firmly believe in life after life, as i prefer to call it, we are all energy and that cannot be destroyed. I am convinced that we do meet our loved ones again, but not in the human form that we know, and i dont believe our loved ones are waiting by the door for us as they are kept busy in the next life, its not like they are going to be hanging around 30 years later for us to call, but when our time on earth is called i believe its then that our loved ones rally around to greet us and help us onto the next wrung of the ladder ,for it is a journey for all of us to make ,and its a time we learn and reflect.
What a lovely post. I do believe in the afterlife too. I think souls are probably very strong and come through when they have immediately passed. I also believe they visit their own funeral. I had strong sensations at my mum’s funeral, and robins visiting. I think we just expect that we’ll get a sign any time, but that is probably not how it works. A year here could be just a few seconds in their eternal life now. I have read that they will be always around us, even closer than we can ever imagine, and hear and see everything that happens to us. They can read our thoughts and have ideas of what will happen in our lifetime, crazy huh! There have been mediums that have said things that couldn’t possibly be known, so I do believe and I suppose it would only help by visiting a medium to know if there is any truth in all this. I think possibly our loved souls will guide us through life and be around at celebratory events as they love keeping in touch with what we are doing. They are joy and love and want to still connect to us, just such a shame we cannot see them and feel that they are no longer with us. I think also that signs may come when we are least expecting. And we need to raise our frequency to get in touch with theirs… easier said than done when we are living in grief, fear, anxiety and all the worries of the world here. xxx
Hi Dear Lady,
I don’t know if this message will help you but here goes. I am now 52 year old and I would love to share this personal experience of mine for you below:
This experience I had will forever stay with me for the rest of my life. And also sure… I hurt. I hurt a LOT because I lost my mum 7 years ago and mum was LIFE to me. Mum was the centre of all of our lives and I don’t know how to live without her but I want to share this experience below:
This experience “happened” to me in my dreams when I think I was about 28 years old soo long ago.
I remember walking through this city a city I didn’t know in my dream. People were walking around and all I can say is I could remember sensing something changing in my dream. Not sure what it was but I sensed something or someone behind me. I turned around and there was this lady standing in the distance up in the mountains. Really I don’t know how to explain this but… all I could sense was there was a kind of this deepest love and wisdom that emanated through all the skies and from her like she knew me through every lifetime I had ever lived. There was this Light that emanated from her. Like time stopped still… and she said to me, “David, you must follow your Heart”.
My dear… to this day and forever more I will never forget that dream. I mean… I don’t know how it happened or who she was or is. I just don’t know. I just don’t know…
But I want to say this to you below…
When you go to bed tonight and feel like everything is dark… always remember that… THEY are with you!. God, the Light, Angels, Guides. They are there…
Where?. I don’t know lol maybe some other dimension or? I just don’t know. Only God knows that. But please I hope you will take this little message into your heart and maybe this message might give you a little hope tonight. David
Hi first off all sorry for your loss:heart:You’re neighbors are insignificant human beings who have nothing better to do good for you for telling her to get stuffed I find since my husband’s death on Xmas eve I have no patients what so ever for stupid people xxxive been looking for something that tells me he’s with me but I’m not confident yet I did keep some ashes at home because that’s where’s he died I feel that helps a little take care I’m sure all off us that are grieving will get there in the end life is just so very different with out your sole mate
He’s anywhere you want him to be, he’s the sun, he’s the moon, he’s the bird, hes the breeze, he’s the grass. Anything you want, that’s him.
Tell your neighbour they can get stuffed from me too!
Hi.I just want him.I want to see he is ok .We were robbed of so much time together.I don’t believe in much anymore.I am trying to live each day as a fresh day.Memories are extremely painful .Bittersweet.This neighbour I told to get stuffed saw me yesterday ,while I was trying to tidy my garden.She told me to start grasping the nettle , re-evaluate my life.I will find someone new and I can move on.She was remarried within 8 months of her hubby dying.I said that would be impossible as I adored and respected my hubby.She said grieving for him 5 months down the line should almost be done and dusted.There is no time limit to grief .This angered her as she said it seemed to her I was wallowing in grief.I should stop being a martyr.I then said if you have nothing constructive or helpful to say F*** off 'til you have. I held my head high .Came inside ,cried so much I fell asleep.I woke up bitter cold.I can’t afford to put heating on until it gets colder,wrapped myself in his blanket and had a toasted sarnie.
Thank you for your support.Take care and I am so sorry for your loss xx
Im sorry your having such a rubbish time.
Some people do not seem to understand how much you miss someone you love.
Its easy to say move on but some of us will find that hard to do. We were married 36 years this August and spent 38 years together more than half my life.
I know that time goes on and we move forward but i will always be married until the day i die and nothing no-one will.ever take that from me. Keep going remembering the good and bad times life will never be the same but we will never forget them.
Take care look after yourself x
Hi All. Lost my Darling wife 4 months ago. So unexpected. Today has been really hard,. Most days I get through but for some reason today has been nothing but tears. Took the dogs out and so much wanted her to be there when I got home, I would come in and in stupid voice say “Cup of tea”. Can’t do that any more! I miss her so much. I really hope that I will see her again and our garden is full of butterflies but it is every year. I know you cling on to things and won’t know until I go, which at the moment I hope is soon.
I think we all know these feelings on this website.
Yesterday was one of these days for me.
Today i was out for coffee with a friend i used to work with over 20 years ago although it was good to see her when i left and got back home i realise i am now on my own. Dont like that feeling missing him so much and dont think i ever will feel any different. Our lives are changed now so much not for the better but each day starts and ends the same now not what we wanted thought we would have spent anither 20 years together but not to be.
We all need to support each other now do when we want to cry shout get upset angry we need to just let out these feelings so this website lets us do that with others who are going through the same.
Take care x
Your neighbour is unbelievable, so lacking in any real compassion or educated insight into the grieving process.
It seems her answer to grief was to wrap it up, put it all behind her and remarry quickly, which is the last thing most of us want or need. The things she is saying to you are quite cruel. Hopefully after this recent exchange she will keep away and mind her own business.
I hope you have some kind support around you to counteract the nastiness and small-mindedness of this woman.
Sending caring thoughts to you and to all on this heartbreaking journey xx