Hi all,
I became a widower at the of 57 on the 13th January 2023. Whilst my wife and the love of my life had been suffering from heart failure over the 10yrs we where together, we had moulded our lives around hospital visits etc. We had talked about the future, but I was not prepared for how quickly she passed away- 2 days after her consultant broke the news that they had exhausted all treatment options. Thankfully my wife died peacefully in her sleep at the age of 54, the night before we had talked over the phone and I love you was the last words to her. She had suffered so much and the pain in my heart that I now suffer is the price i am willing to pay for her to be at peace and free from pain-this actually gives me comfort.
I try and take each day as it comes, the grief is so intense at times and there are so many triggers that have me in tears. Sleep is the only time I get to disconnect from the reality that my wife has gone for ever.
There are times when I feel so alone, coming home to an empty house. I miss the intimacy- the bed time cuddles and are now jealous of couples I see.
I see the grief as part of my new life and will have to adapt to live wirh it.
Thankfully I have a step daughter who has been there for me. We are both currently off work, but know that we will need to get back at some stage and I know it will help me recover.
For the time being, it will be my wifes birthday in 2 wks time, that will be hard for us all as the family will be together, but there to support each other.
As many a contributor has said, it is at times like these you do get to know who your true friends are…
Thak you for sharing your story @RussellE your wife sounds a truly amazing women. So comforting to know that your last words to her was I love you, not many of us have the chance to say that one last time. I became a widow the day after you lost your dear wife. It was sudden, but he had been unwell for a while and been recently diagnosed with early onset parkinsons I know he struggled with the diagnosis and although he would never admit it to me, he was concerned about the future. I do understand about coming home into an empty house, the kiss goodnight and bedtime cuddles, the looks we gave each other and how we knew what each of us were thinking, precious moments shared that never more will be. I had 46 years with my darling man, you and so many of us here were not so lucky. I have returned to work, it was my choice and it does help and distract me for a while. I also have a lovely family and good circle of supportive and caring friends. i think we will carry the grief forever, but in time it will become part of us. I also really believe that we will see our loved ones again. Wishing you well in your journey xx
@RussellE I am so sorry for your loss. @sandi is so right . Just be kind to yourself, don’t hurry things and do what you feel is right for you. Grief has a way of ambushing us. Support and post when you need.
Thank you for sharing
I lost my husband over 2 years ago, at this point I can’t say it’s any better, you just get use to being “empty”. The firsts are the hardest. They almost broke me. But with the love and support from friends and family you can get through …
Just reach out to them when you need them - they want to help you through this as well
Hi so sorry for your loss hun. I LOST my wife of 43 years Sue on 15 Jan 2023 and every day it gets harder. I am 69 now and will never meet anyone to replace my Sue ( my precious China Doll) I am loved out. And empty inside so understand. If I ever find a cure for my hurt I will let you know but don’t hold your breath take care hun from a friend who understands Dave
I am really sorry for your loss. I wish I can say it will get better, coz it hasn’t for me. I am really sorry
I KNOW HAZEL THATS THE ONE THING ABOUT THIS SITE WE HAVE ALL BEEN THROUGH AT ONE TIME OR ANOTHER OR STILL GOING THROUGH IT TAKE CARE DAVE AND THnks
Hi dave .i know exactly how you feel. I lost my gorgeous fantastic wife sue on 1st February this year. Every day is also getting harder and harder. I made sue a promise to carry on being the person she made me into. Got my daughter living with me. Dont feel ashamed to ask for help.also i have decided that i dont want anyone to replace my sue. Just remember that we’re among friends here
@Martyn2 we have a lot in common your Sue Passed on my birthday My Sue passed away on 15 Jan this year so sorry my friend Dave Liverpool
Definitely seem to have a lot in common.in December i told sue that i was going to sell one of my bikes .sues answer was dont even think about it and get your trike sorted out
@Martyn2 I did not know you can use pictures on here
my Sue taken 3 years ago Dec 15 I also have one of sue on a 750 motorbike Yam 750 i think will look for it tomorrow goodnight mate so sorry about your Sue take care Dave in Liverpool
Goodnight dave .just going to bed myself as painkillers kicking in. Also need to get my prosthetic leg off
Just our two lol .goodnight dave
Thinking of you @RussellE … I lost my beloved man 3 weeks before Christmas… he was 55, I was just 60… I am still working and have gone back… I don’t think I am fully functioning but it is giving me structure for now …. I don’t know where the future lies but it has helped me… I have been kind to myself, small steps and a day at a time … thinking of you big hugs
Cheers@Mike75 for the support
Hi@sandi. It was not easy sharing my story, but I am so glad I did. Thankyou for sharing your story- our journey has just begun.Take care
Appreciate your kind words@MinnieImber. Im not ready to return to work just yet and starting counselling to . Everyone has a different way of dealing with grief. Stay strong, thinking of you.
Ok no worries