Hi just found the pictures I told you about they were taken in 2007 in Australia Sue loved speed before she became wheelchair bound. Hope you are having a better day than me Dave
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There nice pictures .having a rough day today. Got the shakes .but just started some new meds .learning to rest up when needed. Prosthetic leg is hurting with the cold dave.we got to keep fighting as we promised our wives not to give up
Thank you same for you as well
Dear friends, I had a small procedure on my hand yesterday and the doctor said look away it might sting a little and just think happy thoughts. He followed on with âwhere is your husband taking you on holiday this yearâ . Oh goodness my first encounter of not knowing what to say to someone who had no idea that I lost my darling man 10 weeks ago. I tried hard, feeling the lump in my throat and just said that weâve not decided yet, but he kept on and said well make sure he takes you somewhere warm and sunny. How do others deal with these type of situations, I was not prepared and just didnât want to tell him, I think because when I do this whole wave of sadness comes over me. After the procedure I went back to my car and just cried. xxx
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@sandi I know hun my Sue passed 8 weeks and 1 day ok . I WISH i was still with her . Take care Dave
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Do what you feel is right for you. Were all different and react differently
Not a problem
I feel exactly the same. I lost my husband of almost 47 years on the 28th January, 2023, he would have been 69 on the 18/2/2023 and like you I have never known such intense grief. Although he hadnât been well for a while with numerous health conditions, the pneumonia came as a shock and took him so quickly. I never got to say goodbye properly, as he was so poorly I could only sit and hold his hand, I wasnât sure if I was strong enough to be with him at the end, but he took that decision for me as he passed away 10 minutes before I got to the hospital, but I wish I had had one more chance to tell him how much I loved him. Some days are OK but some are bad, and only switch off when I am asleep. I too feel envious when I see couples out walking or shopping, and just simple things as music on TV will have me in floods of tears. I am so grateful for my 2 daughters and sons-in-law, they have helped me stay strong, especially at the funeral and just day to day. My next hurdle will be our 47th Wedding Anniversary on the 1st of May and my birthday the next day.
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@dreamcatcher I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my wife of 47 years in October from Covid and pneumonia. She was 69. The first few months were overwhelming with physical and emotional pain I could never have imagined. Like you I have my two children and their families and close friends for support but even in company there is a huge hole of inner loneliness. I think everyone here feels thatâŚ
Being envious of other couples, crying at music, not being able to watch tv and other triggers are emotions we have all felt here. Iâm sorry you didnât get to your husband at the end as I was privileged to be able to hold my wifeâs hand and tell her I loved her. Firstâs are terrible. Mine is today for my children whose partners will be visiting their mothers as both were close to my wife. Post as you need as you will find empathy from others going through the same unwanted journey. Love and support xx
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Sending you hugs .my family are keeping me going as well.i am taking it day by day and say morning and goodnight to my gorgeous fantastic wife sue who passed away on the first of February this year due to cancer .i was holding her hand whilst sue slipped away peacefully. .its our first motherâs day for our family.
Hi @dreamcatcher
So sorry you have suffered this dreadful loss too. It IS the most painful I have experienced and I could not have imagined how different it would feel to losing my beloved Dad many years ago.
The early days in particular I think the disbelief is totally debilitating as you expect to find this is some awful nightmare you will wake up from. I wasnât with my darling husband when he died suddenly after playing his weekly football so, like you, could not tell him how much I love him. I regularly tell him now as I believe he is watching over me and our daughters.
It is almost eleven months for me now and I am making a life. It is certainly not the life I wanted or planned but I am doing things. I have the attitude that if I cry when Iâm somewhere then I cry. Anyone who doesnât like it doesnât matter and mostly I find others are very supportive.
My daughters and I have accepted an invitation to a birthday party which will be soon. Itâs easier in that Richard didnât know the person but the music is highly likely to make us tearful. We have decided we just leave when we feel the need but letâs try it.
I hope you will find support on here. There are many lovely people who have all suffered this terrible loss. Please donât worry if it starts to feel worse rather than better for quite some time. There is no predictable pathway and many find that once the knowledge that this is in fact real makes their grief worse. Not everyone will have that but some of us have.
Take each day as it presents itself and maybe say to people if you need quiet time. Thatâs understandable and grief is exhausting.
Sending love
Karen xxx
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@KarenF my daughter went to a party not long after , but she asked if a certain song could not be played. They were accomodating. Just a tbought as this may help .
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Thank you @Allen2
There is one I know will have me in tears as we used to look into each otherâs eyes and sing the words âI owe it all to you.â
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Hi Dave 13
I am so sorry that your partner died not very long ago.
I have lost mine on October 3rd last year. He had stage 4 cancer and died 6 months after he was diagnosed. I am pleased that I was with him.
Now I feel lonely, the house is empty I have lost my motivation, feel insecure, miss our conversation, his sense of humour and our laughters. The only people who understand how we feel are people who have gone through the same tragedy. There is a Zoom Meeting on a Friday from 8 p.m. for people like us. I intend to look into this and join them.
All the best and lots of strength
ROSE 3
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Made sue a promise to carry on being the person she made me into.people are telling me dont be afraid to alter things around in the house but i donât feel right wanting to alter anything as it feels like i,m letting sue down
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@Martyn2
You should do whatever feels right whenever it feels right. There is no right or wrong in whether you change anything.
I have changed somethings but not much. Because I made a memory quilt from Richardâs clothes my curtains and bedding didnât match so I changed those but no way was I changing the wall colour. When we chose it it made us laugh as it was called âseduction,â
Love
Karen xxx
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