Thank you Karen. Decided to make a memory wall in our bedroom on sues side of the bedroom. Already started a memory box with some of sues favourite items in there Already
My Rich would want me to live and get on with stuff. Itās hard though and I feel guilty. Guilty for having a life, guilty if I change anything, felt guilty for sorting the garden the other day. We were half way through renovating the garden and now having to decide what to do with it. I want to finish it but feel sad that he wonāt get to enjoy it. The flowers are starting to bloom and feel sad that he wonāt get to see them. He put so much into making what he started so nice. 
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Hi Rose I know you understand so thank you. Nearly every night I dream of my little Sue crying then I wake up crying, I have taken care of my Sue for over 25 years but in the end I feel I let her down. I gave her everything she wanted and I know she loves me so much as I do her and yes I know its not my fault but still she is gone and I feel I let her down I even held her hand in hospitle and told her her body was broken so let go my Sue. This was after telling her to fight and come back home to me. I miss her so much and I can not stop thinking about my Sue I do not know the number or anything about this phone thing no idea ?. I hope one day you can get over the passing of your husband , but I canāt see me ever getting over my china doll Sue and to be honest I dont really think I want to its ment to be. Thank you dave
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Aaw dave i say goodnight every night to my sue .and most nights cry whilst talking to sue,s picture. But then i hear my sue come on now stop the tears and you havenāt failed or let me down.also sue knows that i was holding her hand when she peacefully passed away .i cant stop thinking about my sue as well .here for all of us
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Can we have some more details about the zoom meeting please
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@ martyn2 Thank you my friend thalk dave
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No worries dave anytime my friend
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Help zoom ??? What is it
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Its a way of video calling for a group of people. Like Facebook messenger dave
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No worries dave .least i can do
It is a heartbreak that never leaves us ,I know what your going through .
I lost my wife 18 months ago aged 61 and we had been Married 20 years .
I thought after the first year things would be easier to cope with but they arenāt .
She was my constant companion and we never left each others side ,she was my life and now I just go through the motions never really feeling happy .
The only advice I can give is just try to keep busy and occupied . I honestly donāt think anything will ever change for me now .
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@tim my words exactly, I will live my life now through my 20mth old, as she grows, until reunited with my beloved.
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Dreamcatcher I can so relate to your situationā¦I am 68 and lost my wife of 48 years on 22 January 2023. She was 66 and had only just started receiving her State Pension. We did everything together and were so happy. Although she was diagnosed with CNS Lymphoma on her brain in November 2022, it was pneumonia that took her in one day after her first week of chemo. I was, at least, with her until she went, but she was anaesthetised so not aware. I also only stop hurting when Iām asleepā¦but then I wake up. We live on the Wirral too. My son and daughter ā¦and son-in lawā¦have been there for me, but they too are also grieving because of the loss of their mum. My daughter has a 4 year old daughter of her own and an 11 month old son and is devastated their Granma wonāt see them grow up. I am about to have some counselling, but see many hurdles ahead. I relate to your pain entirely and can only wish you good luckā¦
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@Tim
Thinking of you and how difficult this new life is. I agree about keeping occupied as the best way to live. Itās the only way I know but also have no choice as my Richard worked so hard I have a lot of extra jobs to do.
Love
Karen xxx
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So sorry @UnityMan
There is no easy way to lose the one we love. The sad thing is it is inevitable that one or the other of us will do so and I know I will cope better than Richard would have done as he would have locked his grief away and not let it take its course - quite apart from the fact that he couldnāt cook!!! I think my firelighting skills and wood staining skills do beat his cooking ones. I wish it had been at least 20 years later but Iām glad he wasnāt left with this pain and went ahead of me.
Love to all those who are the ones left with this agony.
Karen xxx
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@UnityMan and @dreamcatcher it is really hard when you have been with that person for most of existence. Even more painful knowing they will not see their grand kids growing up as my Linda was besotted, and her face used to light up every time Bella came to visit or stay overnight. Even i used to get uplifted (now cry thinking about it) from the fact my Linda got so much joy holding/playing with her. Linda was only 59yrs old and we didnāt even get to retire age together as I had so many ideas plans to make her happy, now all gone.
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@Allen2
I know when / if my daughter has children it will hit us hard too as Richard was so besotted with his own children he would have been with grandchildren too.
We didnāt get any retirement together either. He had decided to renew his teaching license for another three years (driving instructor) so he had the choice to continue. That choice was taken from him at 60 sadly.
Love
Karen xxx
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I definitely agree ā¦ as much as I miss Sandie, I would not have wished this pain on herā¦
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@KarenF yes my Linda used to say she would cope better than me, the truth i think emotionally she would as like your Richard she would have bottled it up. As my daughter has even said to me my Linda would of really struggled and ended up passing away threw stress 6mth after me. I took couldnāt cook but now have an air fryer so meal times are now less complicated. Sending hugs to us all and as you say the coping with the agony of loss.
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