My husband died over 5 years years ago, & iv always said its the loneliness that is the hardest thing 2 adapt 2.
Coming home & their not there any more.
I still find it very hard. Without my mate.
We was together 30 years.
3 Likes
@Alir
I can relate to what you said about the TV and donāt think itās silly at all. Each bit of our new life is hard to adjust to and feels wrong at times. I was even struggling to think about whether I had a plant in my bathroom before Richard died or only after and wasnāt sure for a while.
@BigL sorry you have the need for this forum but I hope you will find good support on here. Itās 11 months today since the sudden loss of my darling husband who went out to play football as usual and never came home. On the whole Iām doing well, although still never know when an ambush will hit as it did again last night. I do have a life now and can laugh and have fun with my daughters. There are some things I canāt face doing yet like booking a holiday and going to places we went together much.
I faced one thing hanging over me one day when I drove and sat in the lay-by where Richardās friend (a Dr) was trying to resuscitate him. Sat and sobbed but knew I had to do it.
I will make a good life though s as Iām determined to do him proud and look after his land and the house the best I can. A lot to learn but you donāt know what you can do until you try do you?
Love
Karen xxx
5 Likes
I think your Richard would already be proud of you @KarenF not only for accomplishing the milestones you needed to face but also the generosity you show in your compassion, support and understanding of others in your posts xxx
7 Likes
Hi @Mike75 thankyou for your wordsā¦ I am not letting grief win and I agree it is good to go with it when you need toā¦I think I am doing ok, however the support here is so helpful,thank you
2 Likes
@PaulineM1 Iām so sorry for your loss. I agree with you. The one aspect after the initial shock and the overwhelming grief that doesnāt seem to shift is the inner loneliness left by the loss of our loved ones who made us whole and this is much worse in the times and places we shared only with them. Iām not sure whether this can ever be healed however well we adapt to everything else. Love and support xx
1 Like
@MinnieImber This grief from losing your life partner is the hardest thing, isnāt it. Your posts along with those from many others here are helping me to find ways to process my grief and live this unchosen life. I am grateful for that and hope we might meet in a zoom meeting in the near future. Love and support xx
2 Likes
Thankyou @Mike75 for your supportā¦ I have had difficulties sleeping but slept better last nigh.tā¦ I wake and my finest thoughts are Gavin. I know whatās happened but I canāt believe it ā¦ it was just so unexpected and sudden ā¦ I know this is part of grief, bargaining ad denial, I am not sure I am doing either but it helps me to understand these are normal processes and I am not going mad ā¦ I would like to join a zoom call this week, I think that was a great idea of @KarenF ā¦. Thankyou both ā¦hoping everyone has a reasonable Sunday xx
4 Likes
@MinnieImber Thank you for your reply and I hope you have a good day down in Dorset. Your posts always trigger memories for me as I was born in Bridport and my mum and dad moved to Dorchester and she lived there before for about 25 years before moving back to Bridport where she died in 2020. The day my Diane was diagnosed with Covid we were due to go on holiday to West Bay to visit relatives. I always imagine you being near the Cerne giant which was always a great source of amusement to my mum. Thinking of you xx
1 Like
Mick thk u for yr kinds words, & losing yr loved 1 is a very hard thing 2 get over, & u r in the very early stages of grief u never get over the lose of a loved 2 u just hav 2 accept they have gone & try & do the best we can. We all get our good days & then a bad. Its so good having this group who all understand what we r going.
Well u take & all the best.
1 Like
Sorry meant mike not mick. @ Least that made me laugh
2 Likes
@KarenF
Dear Karen, I do admire the way you are coping and l look forward to reading your posts and your advice.
It must have been so hard to drive to that layby knowing what had happened there, but you had the courage to do it. As you said, there are a lot of places you went to with your lovely Richard that you still canāt go to. I relate to that as Ron and I used to go to a garden centre out in the country. It was our favorite place to go and we went a couple of times a month for lunch or a coffee. Half of me would love to go again but as it was our special place I just canāt , not yet. Also, it is a family run business, they all know us and if anyone asked me where he was I would fall apart. One day I will go there but know I have to wait until the time is right.
Sending love xx
4 Likes
@PaulineM1 Made me smile too. When I was a teen 3 of my friends were also Michaels so we had to use different versions. One was Mick, the others were Micky and Michael. I got Mike so I was lucky l guess. The only two people who called me Michael were my mum and my wife. If they did though I knew I was in trouble 
xx
4 Likes
Dear Mike @Mike75 I love bridport and west bay, Gavin and I spent several evenings there walking the coastal paths ā¦ it is beautifulā¦ I am about 40minutes from the giant ā¦ it is a lovely areaā¦ saw a red kite on my dog walk tonight, nature is all about us x
2 Likes
I am very sorry for your loss, time heals thatās what they say, itās too soon to tell, My Steve passed away last September, the wound is still open, I have a broken heart very broken. Hoping you will heal quicker than me
2 Likes
@Alir
Yes, a place which meant s as much to you as a couple like that is going to be a challenge.
Iām hoping that in time the build up of going will prove to be worse than the event, as happened for me with New Yearās Eve. I was dreading it but, with my daughters both here it wasnāt as bad as I anticipated.
It is lovely of you @sandi and @MinnieImber to say that my posts help; it means a lot to me to be able to help others.
Hugs
Karen xxx
3 Likes
Hi karen.went back to the hospice where sue passed away .went to pick up some t shirts for a fundraising event in june that our disabled bike group are doing in june for lindsey lodge hospice .it took a lot to for me to walk back in there .but once i did i felt sue saying she was proud of me for doing it. Slept better last night got 5hours sleep .one small step done x
5 Likes
Well done @Martyn2 it would have been so tough, but you did itā¦Sue would have been so proud ā¦ pleased about the sleep, I managed 6 hrs first time in 4 months big hugs
2 Likes