Hi I am new on here. I lost my husband of nearly 30 years on March the 26 th so exactly 7 weeks ago. I can not get my head round the fact he is never coming back. I feel like he is at work and he could walk through the door at any moment.
My husband suffered a heart attack on the Friday morning before he died but we thought he had indigestion at first. Even joking about it. He took tablets and seemed ok. Then about an hour later he went to the bathroom and was sick. We decided we had better go to the hospital to get checked. Within minutes he said he felt dizzy so I told him to sit down and I had my phone ready to phone an ambulance. As he went to sit he said he was scared and I said it’s ok I’m phoning an ambulance. As he sat he suffered a cardiac arrest. At this point I was on the phone and then instructed to do CPR. It was 7 minutes until the ambulance arrived and they took over. They worked on him for over an hour trying to stableize him to get him in the ambulance. They had to revive him 3 times. They fitted a stent and we spent the next two nights in hospital and on the Sunday they tried to remove the sedation. He reacted to a wet swab in his mouth moving his jaw and as I stroked his face telling him to wake up he moved his cheek. They had to sedate him again. During the next checks something had changed and they took him for a brain scan. We were then told he had massive swelling to both sides of his brain and if he did survive he would be physically and mentally disabled. Later that day he suffered another heart attack and the doctors said it was his way of saying he had had enough.
Terry was 59, 60 in July. I am 54. We had just sold our house in November last year and bought a run down bungalow to renovate. It is our 30 th wedding anniversary in November and we were both going to retire next year and enjoy life.
How life can change within seconds. I have and still am feeling every kind of emotion and still can not believe all this has happened.
I have started to read posts on here and can not believe how many people around this age or younger this happens to.
I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s so incredibly hard. I too lost my partner of 49 suddenly from a cardiac arrest. One minute on his bike with friends, said he felt faint and died. That quick! It’s 15weeks today since that day in January when my life changed forever.
It’s inconceivable and that’s why we struggle. The shock alone will affect you in ways you would never think possible.
All our dreams and future plans ripped from us. 7 weeks is no time at all, I guess neither is 15 weeks but I’m finding days are better, less all consuming and raw.
Keep chatting on here, it really does help!
So sorry for your loss…I lost my wife if 48 years in January…she was 66 and just received her pension…a sudden brain tumour. We had just moved into our forever home 20 months earlier. We were a total partnership for over 50 years and literally did everything together…including playing as a musical duo for the last 12 years…my life disintegrated in an instant and now I am in limbo…my heart goes out to you 
I’m so sorry you have the need for this forum but you will at least feel less alone I hope.
I lost my slim, fit and seemingly healthy 60 year old husband just over a year ago. Tomorrow would have been our 30th wedding anniversary. He went out to play football as usual one Monday night and never came home. He died on his way to hospital and I had a police officer coming to my door at and around 11pm to tell me.
It is a hard journey of acceptance but I do find that I can live a life now, albeit not the life I want. There is a lot of support here from many people to get you through this. B
Much love to you
Karen xxx
Thank you! I’m so sorry for all your losses too and thank you for your support. It is heartbreaking to read all of your posts. It is though a comfort to realise there are other people who understand what I am feeling. I am glad I came across this forum as I think it may help xx
@Lou33 so sorry for your loss
My partner died 15 weeks ago today whilst at work from a heart attack. He was 57. We were both on a 2 year countdown to early retirement.
The first few weeks are just a fog because of the shock of what’s happened.
It is really scary how many on here have similar stories but it does give comfort knowing you are not alone.
Sending hugs Janine
@Lou33 so sorry for your sudden & traumatic loss. I lost my husband to cancer 6 weeks ago, I’m 55. I have found this forum to be a great source of support & understanding. Hopefully, it will help yiu too. Sending hugs.
@Lou33
This exactly what happened to my partner. He was 62 fit, healthy, slim, didn’t smoke and drank occasionally. They resuscitated him 3 times, he had a stent fitted and was on life support for 4 days. They also told me if he had survived he would have had severe brain damage. He had never been ill his whole life and he would have hated it if he had survived.
Met him aged 10 so known him 54 years, together 25 yrs.
I am 9 weeks on and still in shock how he was here one minute and gone the next
So very sorry you have had to join this group. We think why us, but you are right to say just how many this happens to …. It’s scary !!
My husband passed 22nd March so very close to you . He was 58 , I’m 53.
We had a normal night before and he got up as usual for work , made us the first cuppa . I was shattered as mum was taken to hospital in the Saturday .
My son remembers him taking the tea in his room about 7.20am . He was a creature of habit & used to have 15-20 mins on the loo before his shower ( playing candy crush 
)
I over slept and woke at 9.45. I remember thinking ‘ he didn’t kiss me goodbye ( he always did ) then I noticed the en-suite light was still on . I think at that point I knew something was wrong but it does t happen to us right ? How wrong I was , I found him in the bathroom already gone .
It still seems surreal hiw can they just be gone ?
This group is great because we ALL know that feeling .
Sending a big hug 
xxx
@Lou33 so sorry for your loss of your husband. What a shock.
I went to work on the Saturday and Sunday my son rang me to say that dad had collapsed. Time I got home he was gone. I started CPR as No ambulance… they took 45 mins to come and didn’t stay on the phone to instruct my son to do checks on his dad and start CPR even though my son who is 22 told them that my husband was not responsive. I did make a complaint and they admitted it was a mistake and they didn’t use the collapse tool because my son sounded calm. My husband died of a massive rear saddle pulmonary embolism and kidney cancer in both kidneys which he didn’t know that he had as was never diagnosed and working the day before. He was just 53 years old. I miss him so much and life is so unfair and cruel. I had no closure and I don’t know if he was scared which haunts me. big hugs xx
Hi @Lou33, im so sorry for your loss and for your need to be on this forum.
i lost my soulmate of almost 25 yrs, 7 months ago. He was only 47 and seemingly healthy, he was being treated for indigestion 2 weeks previously. He collapsed on a short walk and despite cpr by neighbours and ambulance crew he passed away.
My life changed in the blink of an eye, i like others on here feel robbed of our future together. Life is so unfair.
It is heartbreaking to read everybody’s situation and I hope we can all get through this and have some kind of new normality. I am so sorry for all your losses. So many similarities. Thank you for sharing xx
@Lou33 @Ali29 @UnityMan @Skip and everyone else. Like so many of you my life changed in the blink of an eye. Out on his bike, collapsed , CPR given. ITU, stent fitted, didnt come round from sedation, told brain damage, life support withdrawn, organs donated. I’m feeling numb today, not sure if that is good or bad, but I’ll take it for now. My thoughts are with all of us going through this terrible grief.
Hi sorry for your loss i can understand so much where you coming from .my hus and died February 20th 2 weeks to the day he had his operation for total knee replacement. He came home 2 days after his op he was doing well doibg his exercises and walking .i came home from night shit made hubby breakfast 2 cups of coffe he was fune .i went to bed my hub y shouted of me 15 muns later thank god he did or i would of found him dead in the. My hubby said he could not breath and was fighting fir hid breath i rang 999 and im most sure my husband had passed before the ambulance got here they did try cpr for over 1 hr and took him out on the defibrillator. It was such a shock and still so fresh in my thoughts .im struggling to even go outside i dont want to meet people i just want to lock myself away
Yep i know makes you like that doesnt it ? Not wanting to go out ? Can you ask your GP for some counselling or try Cruse bereavment … they are very good ! I used them lots in the beginning. Im now awaiting one to one counselling … its terrible isnt it what life throws at us ? God bless you xxx
@Janiceg1 so sorry for your loss too. It is just unbelievable to hear of so many similar situations. I never mentioned but my husband also had had a knee operation. A partial one exactly 5 weeks before his heart attach. He had quiet a bit of pain with it too and could not do the exercises at first. They told me his death was no way related but I’m not so sure. He was very active and very sociable and those 5 weeks he spent days mostly on his own as I was working. He hated not been able to carry on as normal. I wonder if that put some kind of strain on him. I guess I will never know.
It is hard to go out and have to do day to day things. I know what you mean wanting to stay in. I still feel like he could walk through the door and he is just at work. But now I’m not sure if I always want to feel like that almost pretending he is somehow still around. I lost my mum 2 years ago and I still think of her as sitting in her house in York. Not sure if that’s my way of coping .
Take care and Deb5 is so right it is terrible what life has thrown at us all on here xx
Hi sorry for your loss .how can a simple knee operation turn to pur loved ones not been wuth us any more .i have quierd my husband post morterm.my husba d told me he would be coming our with injections to thin his blood he never came home with these they know how common dvt is with leg operation. I feel as if my poor husband has been robbed of his life .
My husband was told the injections were for hip operations and with knee operations your given aspirin to take for 2 weeks. I wish now he had never had the operation x
Me 2 they noth would of been with us today xx
It’s just awful we are all going through this .
My husband died suddenly 10 weeks ago . I found him in the bathroom .
He had worked at the same company for 30 years & they treated appallingly at Christmas 2021.
It broke him & he never got over it even in the early hours before he died , he was fidgety in bed & said it was the usual stuff ( the work thing)
I’m absolutely convinced the stress of all that put strain on his heart and that’s what caused his SCA.
xxxx