Its that time of year where friends who are coupled are either talking about going away or have gone on holday even my son who is on his holiday with girlfriend shares their photos which is lovely but isnt if that makes sense.it just makes me feel more lonely and more sad that im not part of that group anymore, i struggle to do things ,whilst the weather has been lovely the last couple of days i couldn’t take the covers off the patio chairs because i would have to sit there and see him sitting there dozing so the covers stay on…just another thing to get through on my own
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I understand.
Thinking of you x
Hello Bunny2 I know how you feel my husband passed May 1st last year my daughter has just started a new relationship and we are going away tomorrow and he’s coming plus were going with another couple it’s just hit me I feel so jealous they all have a partner except me and it will be my first holiday without my husband which makes it harder but they intend giving me a good time and I believe they will take care
Its easier somedays to just lock myself away and not to answer the phone. No one really understands what its like unlessthey hav gone through i. My friend likens it to splitting with her partner of over 30 years, but that was a choice i didn’t get that. So today is cut the grass and find something to get through another day,
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Your friend is so wrong to liken it to a break up. We will never again bump into them. There won’t be a chance of getting back together. A break up is a choice. Our stories are more like an unfinished book that we were enjoying reading.
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So very true
Hello dawn lost my husband in August 2022 and understand what you mean by being alone in house and no phone calls. I have a few good friends that I see but spend most of the time on my own as no family. Try to find things to keep me busy but weather here in Scotland doesn’t help. Take care x
Ahh i know exactly how you feel. Ive not left the house since my husband passed away 3 weeks and 2 days ago. I feel like im drowning some days and then this immense anger, guilt and non stop crying takes over me. The pain at night is the worse.Going to bed and nobody to say goodnight too. He always kissed me on my forehead and said nighty night! Xx
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Hi. I totally understand.
I wish I had brken up with Roger, then I’d have a chance to have him back.
I do try to get out every day, even to the local shop. Yes the pain is hard at night in the big empty bed, no kiss goodnight, no cuddle, no hearing his voice and no one there when I reach out in the middle of the night, and on waking, realising again he’s not coming back.
Unfortunately what you are feeling is normal.
Take care
Love and hugs
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I agree its nothing like a break up, that is a choice for whatever reason . I now just change the subject.
I also live in Scotland and had only moved up here 15 months before I lost my husband. My few good friends couldn’t handle my husbands illnesxxs so slowly we lost contact. But I do have my son that lives 15 miles away.
x
Yes I know what you mean. Somedays are harder than other.
Take care
xx
Bunny 2
For the first time in my life the warmer weather is dropping my mood even lower. I did love the summer months but not now.
My outdoor garden seating remains covered . I remember doing it the month my husband died October 2024 . That summer he had spent very little time sitting on it due to his chemo treatments and a long hospital stay after his stem cell transplant . But on the few occasions he did he relaxed and was smiling .
How can I take the covers off knowing he will never have that feeling again and we will never sit alongside each other chatting and enjoying each others company .
I feel robbed and sorry for myself .
I know what you mean. I went into the garden today with plans of what to do, i got through less than half way and lost all get up and go cause he wadnt there to enjoy it
Take care x
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Today i had to register my husbands death. I felt like it wasnt me sitting their listening to the registrar asking me questions. I just kept thinking this is not happening to me ! When i came out i just broke down crying. My daughter had came with me and took me home. Later i looked at my husbands phone and found he had made a note on his contact for me. It said my beautiful Pee Wee. I just felt like i wanted to run away from all the pain i was feeling in my heart, like it was breaking inside for the loss i felt. I feel like i cant go on anymore with this immense pain and loss for my husband, who made feel whole! 
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I do know how you feel, everyone on here does. I’d like to say it gets easier but 10 weeks in I am starting to cope better during the day, if I keep busy. But the nights… it’s so hard, I wonder if it will ever get any easier.
Please know that we are all here for you, to listen when you need us.
Thinking of you
Take care, sending hugs
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Have you seen your GP?
You can phone 111. It takes a while to get through but there is an option (press 2 I think) to speak to the mental health team.
There is also a free number for the Samaritans.
They are both excellent.
Plus there’s expressing your thoughts on here.
It is a pain that nobody can imagine.
Only those who have experienced this can understand.
I believe it is a case of taking it day by day, hour by hour.
Try to get through each bit of the day and don’t put pressure on yourself.
I found there were a few things I could do, feed the cats, make a mug of tea.
Others were too much and I left them.
Sending big hugs x
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Thank you, it does help speaking on here. Knowing others are going through the same thing. Ive seen my GP. I am a nurse as well. Its just been such a difficult day registering his death. The night time is the worse, i start to think about things more and it makes me feel more alone than ever. Xx
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Wilderness
We have gone through similar things my husband had chemo beginning of jan 23 and october went in for stem cell transplant and never came home, he died the beginning of jan 2024. We use to sit out in garden and play cards or rummikub and read and he would have a nana nap… this summer is going to be so hard
Hello Everyone Yes its a terrible horrible nightmare we’re all having to travel we never wanted too Im now 18 weeks on and honestly every day its worse Having to try and believe my soulmate who ws health and happy celebrating Christmas holidays in Spain ( after just arriving) passed away Im now really starting to get angry family and friends thinking i should be excepting what has happened Honestly im so broken Cant imagine my life ( 20 PLUS yrs) ? without him Every memory and experience i have is Him we we’re together since 15 for 40 years Also my so seen his dad pass as we both tried to help And feel terrible with my pain i can’t help him more im just do broken don’t want to be here but think i have to for my son and wee dog I really want to go to sleep now