My beloved partner passed away suddenly weeks before Christmas and each days seems to get worse. The pain is awful. Just come back from the launderette (we never had a washing machine as flat too small) and it’s only opposite, but there was a man there talking to his partner on the phone saying he’d see here soon and he loved her very much…I started crying as we used to have chats like that when I was at the launderette and he always came down and carried the washing life seems back up to our flat. So sad washing just my things and not his too now 
I hate life without him. Seems so pointless
7 Likes
I totally understand how you feel Sal. It’s so sad for us isn’t it. The pain definitely is physical. I hope you find some peace. I feel down tonight, just hoping I feel a little lighter tomorrow (it’s almost a year for me)
Thinking of you, take care, Janey xx
3 Likes
I’m 13 months on and some days I cope, then days where its so raw again I cry everyday but not for as long like the early days. I heard someone the other day saying on the phone to their loved one how much they love them and what time their going to be back for dinner, the sort of conversations I had with Marti.
Life does seem pointless, j try to keep busy but for me it doesn’t help as Marti is in my thoughts 24/7. I can’t sleep, always thinking of him. If j look shattered my boys say, you look tired Mum, are you OK, I think we’ll I’m grieving, I don’t think they understand how heartbroken I am, I’m fed up of living, living without my Marti, the one person who made my life worth living. Why am I still here, what’s the point without my Marti.
6 Likes
That’s exactly how I feel. He was my whole world and we used to do everything together. He was so kind and caring. I feel very isolated too as I don’t drive (can’t anyway cos of health/heart probs) and we often went to our special places off the beaten track and just sit in nature holding hands or watching a sunset. All gone now. Sending you a big hug x
2 Likes
I feel like that today. What’s the point. I lost H ten months ago and feel as wretched now as I did then. I miss him so much. We spent our last year together isolating as he had had pneumonia and spent 17 days in hospital. When he came home I gave up work and we spent all out time together. Little did I know it would be our last year. I cry every day x
1 Like
I lost my June nearly 8!weeks ago suddenly in front of me at home. June suffered from MS for decades and also beat cancer. June had it tough but never once complained about her pain. We were married 43 years. She was my rock and we spent all our time together. Today has been a very bad day. I have asked for counselling. We have no family. I am on meds but as yet they don’t help much. We were both 66 when June passed. How do I go on without her. I feel anxious depressed and have no confidence or self esteem. I’m losing weight weekly. Not a call today - last time my brother rang was over a week ago. Friends have stopped making contact. Lonely does not describe how I feel.
2 Likes
You will always have friends on this forum Shiney. Thinking of you xx
2 Likes
I feel like this too. Lost my husband 11 months ago and still am struggling. When I hear a song on the radio, I can see him dancing. I don’t think I will eber get over it. The pain is all consuming isn’t it? 
1 Like
The phone has been silent all day as it was yesterday and the day before that. I don’t want to leave the house and when I do my stomach is in turmoil. I have been upset most of today. Slept for three hours in the chair but still feel no better when I awoke. It just goes on and on. When will this torture end.
1 Like
Life is so hard at the moment. All I do is cry. The tears are rolling down my cheeks. X
1 Like
Me too. I can’t stop crying. I bravely went for a little walk round the boatlng lake fir the first time and just dissolved into tears as Rob and me used to walk there. My daughter when she rings tells me to stop wallowing in my grief. No one understands unless they’ve been through it. I feel so lost and lonely and everything seems pointless. The pain is awful. Rob was my rock.and soul mate. We did everything together. He was my world.
I don’t know how I get through each day. It’s agony
2 Likes
Which boating lake do you walk around x
It’s a small one in Perranporth Cornwall.
It sounds wonderful. I have a boating lake near my that I walk around ever now and then. X
I would also like to say that we don’t wallow. We are not hippopotamus. We loved our soulmates with all our hearts and the more we love the deeper the sorrow. Because our partners die does not mean we stop loving them. We haven’t had time to grasp fully that they are no longer on this earth. Take care x
3 Likes
Yes, the deeper we have loved, the deeper the grief. It is very hard to accept our loved ones aren’t here any more. I miss laughing, talking and cuddling with him. We used to snuggle up on the sofa each night with our big fleece and chat watch tv and snuggle. So lonely now.
Where is your boating lake?
Take care too x
It’s in Ashton in Makerfield Five miles from Wigan. We also used to cuddled under a woolly blanket and watch tv together. We were always together and never needed anyone else. That’s what makes it so hard now. X
2 Likes
It’s hard watching our favourite tv programmes on my own now. X
1 Like
Sal3
I also lost my wife 3 days before Christmas. Like you the pain is so raw it is like a living hell.
The other day l went to the local sea front with my step daughter and grandson to get some fresh air. There were couples holding hands, talking and laughing. I was angry and jealous
, that these simple loving pleasures are now gone for ever.
2 Likes
Dear Trev58
You are not alone in your reactions to seeing loving couples. Although I do not get angry, certainly jealous and just cry and wonder why could not still have these simple pleasures - not asking for anything other than to keep what I already had.
Take care. xxxx