It’s been 18 months since I lost my hubby and life seems so empty still. I’m so scared of growing old without him by my side.
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I lost my husband January this year i know how You are feeling.Grief take time ,but think of the memories you shared together it does help me .Do what your what husband would have wanted for you He will always be in your heart forever , so you will never be alone ,and think of the love you shared with him .I hope this helps you.
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Hi @Hope2
I’m so sorry you’re still suffering so much.
Does this pain and loneliness never go away? I’m 8 weeks in and don’t feel any different to when I first lost him.
I’ve had loads of advice, but the ones that make sense are to take one day at a time and try and distract yourself. Easier said than done though.
I dont know if I can be much help to you as I am still new to this, but I can listen.
Many hugs
Liz
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Thank you. Sorry for your loss.
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Thank you. Sorry for your recent loss. You do have better days. I’m just struggling a bit right now.
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I know I’m very lucky to have had the time I did have with him though. 42 Years together is more than a lot of couples achieve. My mum and dad were married for over 60 years and I always thought we’d grow old together in the same way, but it was sadly not to be.
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We were together for 42 years too. And it was wonderful and I too was lucky to have had his love for so long. It was a second marriage for both of us so 42 years was an achievement. I know I’ll never ever forget him, stop loving him, or missing him. And I’m sure it won’t really get any easier, maybe we’ll just get used to it. I suppose we did grow old together, but it never felt like that, and I wasn’t ready to lose him. But I don’t suppose I ever would ever have been ready for that.
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Bless you. It feels so unreal doesn’t it? When you’ve been with someone for that long you just can’t believe that they’ve gone.
I keep his favourite fleece on his pillow and I still go to sleep hugging it every night and say goodnight to him just like I used to and in my mind I can hear him say nite nite, love you.
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I hug his pillow hoping that he will come to me in my dreams, although that would break my heart again when I wake-up, but I’d take that, just to see him again, to hold him and hear his voice, it would seem real for a while. I miss him so much
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@Hope2 , It’s been 14 months since my wife died, I am finding the second year harder. It seems that the acuteness of the loss has passed, but like you as left a deep emptiness. Sending you good wishes.
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I have had a couple of dreams where he’s spoken to me and it seemed so real. Like you say it was sad when I woke up but amazing still.
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Thank you. Yes I’m definitely finding the second year harder. I think the support you get from friends and family starts to dwindle a bit and people think you’re doing ok, but although it comes across that way it’s not really the case is it?
So sorry for your loss.
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I agree that in many ways the second year feels harder. It’s now 14 months since I lost Keef and it feels like people expect you to be better! In many ways it allows me to see who my real friends are because they’re the only people I can talk to about him now. It seems like because everyone else has moved on, they seem to have new pet projects, that they think I should. I’ve decided to now socialise less and pick my friends a bit more carefully.
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I know what you mean there. Sometimes you find the support isn’t there from the people you’d expect it from the most.
I get very little support from my adult boys (emotional or practical) and I always thought they’d be there for me. That hurts a lot and I know it would have made their dad sad too.
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I am coming up to two years from loosing Frances, after 57 years. The second year has been hard, I have been crying most of the time. The one saving grace is that Frances went first and did not have to bear this grief.
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Bless you. It’s so hard isn’t it?
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Hope, don’t give up, I lost my partner 4yrs.ago, but to get over my sad loss I “talk” to her every night before I go to sleep and tell her what I’ve done that day and how I feel, “kiss” her goodnight and go to sleep. To stop my mind wandering into sadness during the day I do things, I volunteer twice a week at a museum where I meet and chat to people, this helps me tremendously with my grief, may I suggest you try something like this, hope my words help.
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Thank you for reaching out to me.
We sound very similar. That’s what I do each night to and I also volunteered at our local museum, helping to archive old slides of the town. Unfortunately I lost my confidence with that and gave up after a few weeks. I do run a craft club at a local physic garden which occupies me for one day a week and I am lucky in that I have several friends who I regularly meet up with for coffee or a day out.
It’s just that at the moment I seem to be going through a really rough patch.
I’m worrying about my health and things that need doing indoors are dragging me down and I’ve just been to the opticians and they have told me it won’t be long till I need a cataract op which scared the life out of me. And to top it all I’ve had one of my wheel trims pinched off the car and just found they don’t make my ones anymore so I’ve either got to pay a fortune for one on eBay or change all four to a cheap version.
Blimey ……… Where did all that come from?
I’m sorry, I bet you wish you hadn’t responded to my post now don’t you?
I think you just caught me at my lowest ebb.
Thank you anyway.
I’m sure I’ll snap out of this mood soon and start to appreciate again how lucky I still am in so many ways. I must keep reminding myself that I did have 45 wonderful years with my hubby and not that everyone gets that chance in life.
All the best to you.
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We all get to a low ebb, keep going, something will turn up. I go for a walk when I feel that way and if I meet people, complete strangers I always smile or greet them and when they reply that lifts me. I’ve had problems with bills mounting up on my car I bought with money my wife left me. She had a small Teddy bear in her car, now that rides with me in my car, we called it “super Ted” a dafy name but it means a lot to me and my late partner.
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I no how you feel lost my husband last year but as the same you I’m scared of living without him
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