Sheila,
Thank you and there sadly have been more since, My Uncle died last week also. It is just way too much too soon. Take care, John
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That did make me smile, thank you and so true.
Julie x
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Lonely,
I have questioned too why the evil is allowed and the good one are taken from those that LOVE them. I wonāt ever claim to know Godās plans or thoughts but it is so painful when there is so much of it. I would also agree with the comment about weeding. Take care, John
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You are right! This has been said to me and I always say heās not a god I want to know then!
I get very angry, people say really stupid things, I guess they donāt know what else to say.
They also say he is at peace now!
Pete was at peace while he was here, if only he had know that was his last day, he would have been absolutely livid. He was living his best life and was so excited about the future, he has 2 beautiful granddaughters, of 3 and 1 year old and thanks to the pandemic he only got to the the youngest one once.
He worked so hard and all his life and was just starting retirement.
So so unfair.
Yvonne
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It is so sad all of us have to go through this torment of not having our loved one with us. While evil people are still out there leading normal happy lives while getting up to alsorts of evil things . It is just heartbreaking x
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Yvonne,
I agree about people who say the stupidest things, Like my loving wife is in a better place, NO she isnāt she should be with me, God needed another angel, NO he didnāt I need(ed) my loving wife, her Mother needed her. It will never make sense what happened and people try to say something but they donāt understand this pain. I believe my loving wife was happy, everyone who I spoke to after she died said how happy she seemed to be and how proud she was of me. I also think she would be livid if she knew that she was going to die that day because I am sure she wasnāt ready and didnāt want to die. My loving wife was still many years away from retirement but we were looking forward to her getting there and enjoying OUR time. Take care, John
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Broken2222,
You are correct and my heart is definitely broken (and missing) since my loving wife died. I am sorry for your loss as I am for anyone else who ever has to be here. Evil people will not suffer this kind of pain because they donāt seem to have that part of emotional connection. My loving wife was my entire world and I had that thought again today as I was driving back to the house from trying to buy groceries. My thought was that my world actually started when we got married and it ended when my loving wife died. Some people might argue the nuances of the dates because we obviously met and formed a relationship first. But it was official when we married so my world existed from January 14, 1987 and it ended on March 13, 2021. I have just been going through the motions of existing since my loving wife died and there is no joy or pleasure or desire or anything since then. I just want the peace that will hopefully come when it is my turn to die, and hopefully be re-united with my loving wife again. Take care, John
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I feel exactly the same about my husband (they are such special people) I know I will never get over losing him and just want to be with him . I put on a brave face with family and work but the pain is awful . I write in a diary every night asking him to come and get me. Iām 59 and donāt want to live a long and lonely life without him. My heart bleeds for all the people going through this . Thank you for your reply.
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Broken2222,
My loving wife was and is the most special person in my life. I too write in ānotebooksā everyday and I am up to number 12. I comment on the grief sites and in my notebooks and without them I donāt know what I would have done. The comments and understanding from these sites are why I am still somewhat coherent and barely functioning. My loving wife was on 53 when she died and I am 62 and we had much ahead of us but I am so done with all of this and am ready to go any time now. I donāt want any more time alone without my loving wife. Take care, John
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Thanks for your reply, my darling Pete was the nicest person Iāve ever known and I was always telling him that he was perfect and he would always laugh and reply " Iām not perfect, Iām just me who loves you!"
He was so kind and loving and he made an impact on everyone he met.
When he died I got messages from people I had never met telling me of kind things he had done, he was also very humble.
He carried a donor card and told me that if he died I was to make sure that they took anything that could help another person live and I was distraught when they told me that because he died so suddenly and couldnāt be resuscitated they couldnāt use any of his organs.
I also feel so bad that I wasnāt with him as he took his last breath, he collapsed while jogging.
Whst really hurts is I never got to hold his hand and say goodbye properly.
I was and still am completely traumatised because when I did get to see him, he looked nothing like the Pete I know and I wish someone had warned me that might not look the same. ( Iām sorry if thats too much detail) When I close my eyes at night I have push the image away and think of his lovely smiling face.
People always remarked on how he was always smiling.
I donāt think I will ever find joy in anything again and itās a horrible way to have to spend the rest of my life.
Yvonne x
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I am so sorry Yvonne. I feel the same. I am 59 and have years left. Well none of us know what is in the future but it is going to be a painful journey for all of us. I grew itās so unfair that there are evil people locked in prison and some not yet it is our king and loving partners that have been taken. Life does not make sense.
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Hi Nel.
I used to believe in karma but Iām not so sure now.
I am now very bitter and angry, like you Pete was 59 and we had so many plans and weāre going to travel for the next couple of years (while we were fit enough) and then grow old together.
Pete used to say he wanted us to be like his Mum and Dad who are 88 and 91, it is very hard for them also as they have lost their youngest child.
His Dad keeps saying " it should have been me" I know he would have gladly taken his place.
People keep saying itās early days for me (13 weeks) but I know I will never feel truly happy again.
Thanks for your reply it helps to speak to people who understand how hard it is.
Yvonne x
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A beautiful life Sheila, full of love xx
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I feel exactly the same what is the point of living without the one we truly love. Itās not a life itās just a heartbreak every day we wake up and lonely night without them . Take care x
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Oh itās so tragic and your so right itās like nothing else you will experience in your life. Itās 6months for my husband and his birthday on Wednesday. Iām so sad out it but me and my daughters are going out to celebrate as we always did. He was only ill for 3 half weeks before he died and our so right nothing ever is same again. I miss him so much in lots ways and while Iām trying to be brave Iām so ill. My stomach is just not at peace Iāve taken over where he left off with hospital and sure its only stress but having lots things done. Yes losing your partner just breaks your heart and you have to try to carryon. The pain is so bad at times our journeys are all different xx
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Ang1949,
I am sorry for your loss, I am not sure if there ever will anything that feels the same anymore. My loving wife was my whole world and today being Valentine Day just rips my broken heart into more pieces. It isnāt as if it was a really big deal but we did try to celebrate it a little. It was a month after our Wedding Anniversary and this year it is a month until the 1 year since my loving wife died. There are just so many triggers in this existence now that make each and every day so unbearable. My loving wife died so suddenly and unexpectedly that there was no real warning or preparation and she was only 53 and we had just celebrated our 34 Anniversary in January and she died in March. The physical and emotional stress on the body and mind is terrible and I really donāt know how anyone can recover from it. Take care, John
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Yvonne,
My loving wife used to hope that Karma was real, and like you I find it hard to believe now. We also wanted to be like my loving wifeās Grandparents who were married for over 60 years and when they died it was within 2 weeks of each other. It was what we had hoped would be our fate as well. Yes 13 weeks is early for you but sadly after 48 weeks I feel as you do, that I will never experience any happiness or joy or pleasure or any positive emotions ever again. This is not a good way to exist and I would like it to be over soon. I always said that my loving wife and I were not perfect, we were just perfect for each other. When we first met and fell in love, we accepted each other āwarts and allā and made no attempts to change each other. And sadly like you I never got the proper goodbye. My loving wife looked different but still the same, however when I went to my Uncles service last week he looked nothing like the man I knew. Take care, John
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Sheila,
I am not positive because of how things fell apart and transpired but I believe my loving wife was suffering from an un-diagnosed medical condition that ultimately caused her death. My loving wife was having shortness of breathe when going up stairs and had seen her Doctor and he had run tests but there was no cause found. There is no way to know exactly what might have changed the outcome and all I hope is that my loving wife didnāt suffer when she died. I was unable to be there because they moved her to another Hospital and I was caring for MIL and it will haunt me forever that I wasnāt there for her. Take care, John
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Are thank you for your message yes things are never going to be the same. My husband die in Aug 2021 and still I canāt believe it. We just have to keep going but nobody nut you understands your pain. Family are wonderful but nights are so lonely. Stay strong she woukd want you too xx
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Sheila,
I am sorry that You and Peter went through that. I feel that my wifeās Doctor also wasnāt taking her seriously when she complained, because she was still able to work and function. I believe that continued when she complained the 2 weeks before she died also, Covid has made a bad situation much worse with all of the limits and such. My loving wife may or may not have still died the exact way she did, but I will never know. I do know that you are correct that the majority of Doctors do not like to be questioned on the diagnosis that they make. But at the same time we are told to listen to our own bodies when something doesnāt feel right. I also made sure that I have the Do Not Resuscitate forms because without my loving wife I donāt want to be brought back to this terrible existence. My loving wife was the only reason I wanted to be alive in the first place. Take care, John
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