A little poem a friend sent to me. Just wanted to share it.
Light a candle, see it glow
Think of me and always know
I have not left, I am always there
Day or night I’ll hover near
Just like a flame that’s out of sight
My light shines on, still glowing bright
When missing me this time apart
You’ll find my light within your heart.
My wife taught English Language and literature before becoming a SENCO
She loved poetry and literature and especially Shakespeare and the theatre ( both as a spectator and hands on directing performances.
I’m a cultural philistine lol but have taken great comfort in the poems I have selected for her eulogy next week
My positive thoughts are to keep her alive in my thoughts and my heart - this one liner from a poem is resonating in my mind and keeps me focused.
I do hope it can help someone else too
Hallowed Ground by Thomas Campbell
“To live in hearts we leave behind Is not to die”
I did it last year … is it really a year ago? This is my second Christmas without Eve. I burn a candle for her every day, but I will light a second one at 8 pm (Spain time) and think of her and everyone who has lost a loved one
Tony 1its been 4 years since my pat passed i still light 3 candles every Christmas Eve one for my wife brother jimmy I Liam I’ve learned to live with my pat gone I act normal but deep down I’m still hurting will it get better. I at the moment hate Christmas don’t put up Christmas tree or any decoration does anyone feel the same my daughters call me hum bug. Christmas Day sucks. Sorry I rant on but find this site so good can say what you like cause we are all in the same situation. Keep your chin up and keep the faith. God Bless you all.
Tony1. Ignore what people call you and what they think. This is your grief, not theirs. I, too, hate Christmas since Eve died. No tree, no decorations, no different food. Does it mean I’m not coping with the loss? Maybe, but that isn’t the point. The point is we all grieve the way we grieve. There’s no template, no silver bullet. Of course you’re hurting. I am, too. I think we always will, and in one way that’s all right. I’ll think of you when I light Eve’s candle. My heart goes out to everyone of us who has lost so much. Stay safe
I will light a candle as well at 7:00 pm Christmas Eve for my darling husband Tony of 40 years who was taken from me unexpectedly in September 2023. First Christmas in 46 1/2 years that he won’t be here. Will be thinking of everyone one here. xx
Hi, I will also light a candle for my gorgeous husband on Xmas eve, there won’t be any tree or decorations or Xmas cards again this year. I just can’t do it ! . I’m sure our candles will shine bright for all the people we have lost, but still love with all our hearts and will forever. Sending strength and love to everyone on this site , that makes it a special place , where we can be ourselves and put our heartfelt thoughts down , without being judged and get so much help and love back . All xtake carex❣️
I to will always light the candles for every Christmas I am alive. Even now I am told i must be over my grief by now like everyone here we all now what grief is. Sometimes it bites in to ur heart 
there’s no were to hide but we all deal with it cause it’s always there. Act normal laugh pretend we’re good thinking of you all at this sad time of year. So chin up. Keep the faith. God Bless you all Tony 1:pray:
It will be the third Christmas without Vic. Christmas means nothing now and I’ve decided to spend the day alone. Even with the family and grandchildren I’m alone inside. I went to them for the first two Christmases but I couldn’t wait to leave. Pretending to be happy doesn’t work for me and isn’t fair on everyone else to see how I’ve changed. The happy, bubbly mum and Gran has gone and I can’t imagine her coming back. I shall light my candle at 7 o’clock and raise a glass to us all.
Hi nidrigirl know how you feel. I spent every Christmas alone and that’s how I like to spend it. My family don’t understand saying how can you spend this time off the year alone but that’s how i like to. Christmas Day is my time and my memories off our time together. Maybe some day they will understand. This site is so helpful say what you like nobody ever judges you keep the faith thinking of you all. Tony 1
I’m so sorry to hear that you are feeling so low and unable to spend time with your family at this season! I am going to try my hardest to make Christmas as normal as I can especially for the grandchildren,
It’s good to see @amelie_sgran’s Christmas Eve tradition still continues. I’ll be joining in again in lighting my candle at 7pm on the 24th, and it will be my 4th Christmas without my wife. It still feels like a living nightmare, 177 weeks and 4 days on from the worst event in my life. I’m hoping once again to light a (1-week burn time) candle for my wife in our local RC church too, on the Friday before Christmas.
It’s my wife’s funeral tomorrow and to be honest I know it’s going to be a long hard day but I’m gonna give it 200%, I owe her that much!
I will move on as best I can in my own way, my own time trying to honour and respect her wishes!
I do intend to decorate the house as we have young grandchildren and my wife would insist on it.
Please know that you are all in my thoughts and i hope that you find a way to get through the festive season - give it your best shot and remember that your loved ones would not want to see you so unhappy and struggling so much with grief
Thinking of you tomorrow
Hi cat fan so sorry to hear about your very sad time Like everyone on here we have all been through what you are going through and it’s so hard to say goodbye. Been 4 years since my pet passed but there is not a day goes by i don’t miss her You on the best site just say what you feel we’re all here for you. Thinking of you i know it’s going to be hard at this time of the year. So chin keep the faith and god Bless you on this very sad day. Sending 
I feel for you at the beginning of this journey and I really hope that tomorrow brings comfort. It still saddens me that my family and friends couldn’t say goodbye to Vic this way. Covid regulations denied us that and I am sure that a proper funeral will give you the chance to say goodbye. I’ll be thinking of you. Be brave.
Thinking of you cat fan 
The reverend dealing with Elissas funeral is a family friend, she did say that the funeral was the first step towards closure …… paying our respects with dignity and celebrating her life
I think the day of the funeral is the start of the grief when you say goodbye for the last time to ur loved one u learn to live with it but you never forget so be strong everyone on here is thinking of you keep in touch with us all rant and rave all you want We’re all been through it so we all understand god Bless you on this very special day
So sorry for your loss, it’s so lovely you following her wishes and doing your best for Christmas, just remember to take some time out for yourself as well and quiet reflection moments, as I found that helped me through the grieving