Dear John, I am so sorry for your loss. My husband also died suddenly of undiagnosed kidney cancer on Valentine’s Day this year. I gave him my card and presents and three hours later he was dead. it is almost five months now and I am still crying and cannot believe that my beloved husband is not coming back to me but I achieved something like a kind of acceptance of my horrible situation. And yet I still wake up every morning and I think it was only a terrible nightmare and my husband is sitting downstairs and reading his computer magazine or watching BBC’s Click. I am 62, next month 63 and he died three weeks short of his 66th birthday. I also live in a kind of bubble on my own because my friend and his family are busy living their own lives and neighbourly support dwindled fast and was not replaced by anything. So I take every day one step after another and there is no single day where I do not vry and feel this neverending deep sadness. I hope that you are getting better soon. Sending you lots of love and hugs.
It’s 7 weeks yesterday since I suddenly lost my beloved husband, I feel so many emotions, I’m scared of the future, I don’t think I have one without him. I’m 55 and he was 66. I am so angry at the world, feel like I am in a living nightmare. I had been talking to him just 45 minutes previously and he wqs absolutely fine, came back into the room, thought he was asleep, he was unresponsive, rang ambulance, got talked through cpr but nothing. Asked ambulance paramedics to shock him but they said it wouldn’t do anything he had gone.
Hi
To those of you that are in their early stages of grieving I feel your pain and can well remember those early days myself. Grief doesn’t just go away I’m afraid.
Now four years along this road I can say that I have felt exactly the same as any one of you. I have screamed, cried, thrown things, I have felt the fear of being alone and constant anxiety. Had emotions I never thought possible for me. Highs, lows etc. Yet I never lost hope that somewhere there was a light at the end of the tunnel. I didn’t want to feel so miserable for the rest of my life. I have never for a moment forgotten my husband and he is with me all the time but I have managed to find a life for myself that I am satisfied with. It’s quiet but I do the things I enjoy doing. I have adapted and so will you all.
The people we lost were such an important part of our life and the pain doesn’t go immediately so I am always surprised at members who think that they should be healed in just a short time. Grief can be relentless but we can overcome it one way or another that suits us. Just have patience.
Pxx