Hello There Anne Mary. I’m like you, I can chatter away to anyone, so my pain is covered up all the time. My family say I’m doing wonderfully as I’m always up to something and sorting things but they don’t see the inner pain as you can’t really go around telling them can you. My husband was Brian also and he was must more relaxed than me and said I was hard work as I never sat still. I’m still like that but now it’s my way of coping. If I sit still for too long then I become upset. I’ve been sorting out my husbands shed today and like everywhere else he has horded so much. Couldn’t even get into it. Made a start anyway, and at least I can get in now.
I have been going into forbidden territory since he passed away. First the room he used for his art/music/photography/computer. Five weeks to make sense of it. Then the loft, I won’t go down that road!!! Now his shed. I’m beginning to feel that he didn’t like me very much to leave so much to be sorted. He hated me going near his things as I get rid of clutter. I don’t think he is very happy with me now and I don’t want to annoy him in case he won’t come and visit me. I’m apologising to him everyday for selling his things or visiting the tip. But like you I might sell this house and need to de-clutter. Very best wishes.