I lost my husband to covid it will be 3 years on the 10th April. He was put into an ambulance and I never set eyes on him again as it was at the very start of lockdown and the rules were so strict. I could not have any family with me to offer comfort or support. It is really hard losing a spouse but the way it happened as left me traumatised. We were together for 47 years , we had our ups and downs but he was my rock . I feel so lost and so very lonely.
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Hello @Marl, I’m Seaneen, part of the Online Community team. I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. We members who lost loved ones during Covid and who have described the kind of feelings you are experiencing right now. If you click on the little magnifying glass at the top, you can search for threads on loss during Covid, if it would help to read about others’ experiences.
You mention feeling traumatised. I am just wondering if you have been able to get any extra support for your grief? We offer free counselling at Sue Ryder, if you feel some one-to-one support might help. You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.
Hopefully someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to let you know that you have been heard and you are not alone.
Take care,
Seaneen
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Dear Marl. What happened to you is very similar to me i lost my husband to covid on the 24th April 2020 he to was put in an ambulance and i never saw him alive again our sons and i were not allowed in the hospital to see him and were only allowed 8 people to his funeral like you i feel that all this has traumatised me so much that i cry and feel so lonely all the time i dont say anything to my family as they expect that after nearly 3 years i should be better now but i feel empty and a shell of my former self if you need just message me all the lovely people on here help such a lot. Hugs to you. Jenny. X
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Hi Jenny I just feel the same as you . I put a brave face on in front of my family but inside i am crumbling. They all think I am getting on with my life but I take my little dog for a walk and then I am just shut away by my self all day as my family all have jobs and ther own lives to get on with . I feel so lonely but just dont want to go or do anything. x
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Dear Marl. I go out most mornings with my dog Drift and speak to people but as you say get back home and am shut away for the rest of the day. I have four children but they all work and have family so have there own lives to get on with. If it wasnt for my dog i wouldnt go out at all. Life does seem very lonely and empty i have tried doing things but have never been a very outgoing person as was my husband groups and such like are not really for me which makes it harder message me whenever you like i am around a lot. X
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Oh Jen your life sounds so much like mine . I am not s very out going person and I am so conscious of my weight. I just comfort eat which I know i shouldnt but food and the tele are my only friends .
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Dear Marl. I have put on a lot of weight since losing Peter am trying to diet but havent lost much my problem is i have a drink most nights before bed it helps me sleep but puts weight on walking the dog helps keep me active but i have CMT which makes my feet painful but i need to get out. I read quite a lot and do knitting for my grandson who has just turned one. I play my music although that makes me cry as Peter and i liked the same type of music. X
Dear Jen
I have also tried to diet but I feel so low so I have a nice cream bun or some chocolate to make me feel better but it really doesnt just makes me fatter. I have arthritis in my feet and knees and my weight makes this worse. I really need to lose the weight as I know it is holding me back as if I do get invited anywhere I make an excuse not to go . The couple of friends I did have dont bother to ask me to go anywhere anymore , whick makes me even more lonely but I know I have done it to myself. I just feel I want to be on my own but then when I am i dont want to be. Its so hard !!!
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Dear Marl. The trouble is when we are feeling low and sad we look for things to cheer us up a nice cream cake .chocolate . wine etc. But as you say it puts weight on and makes uncomfotable and the pain worse. I have pretty much been abandoned by the few friends i did have am going for a coffee tommorow with a friend who i used to live nextdoor to havent seen her for 3yrs because of covid etc i am getting stressd about going but am determind not to cancel as sitting at home gets you so down and as you say its so hard. X
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Dear Jen hope you have a lovely time with your friend, hopefully it will become a regular thing for you, something to look forward to. Why do we get so stressed about doing something so normal as going for a coffee. If you are anything like me seeing someone for the first time since losing Ian is so emotional. Keep your chin up and have a lovely time xx
Dear Marl. Thank you i hope i enjoy seeing my friend again and have a nice time i havent really seen anyone apart from family since Peter died so going for a coffee seems a big thing i hope i dont cry in front of her. X
Dear Jen
Dont be worrying about crying in front of your friend a true friend will understand. I know how emotional it is seeing people you havent seen for a while . I have cried in front of complete strangers on my dog walks when they have stopped to talk. I know this sounds awful but when I see older couples walking their dog I feel so jealous of them that they still have each other they are so lucky xx
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Hi Jen did you enjoy your catchup with your friend. Was there any tears xxx
Hi Marl. Yes really enjoyed my catchup with my friend Sue had teacake and lattes very nice coffee place i did talk about Peters last days and did feel emotional but managed to not cry she did say how ill he looked the last time she saw him but was shocked how quick he died. How are you today have you been out with your little dog poor Drift my dog didnt get to go out will give him an extra long walk tommorow. Xx
Hi so glad you enjoyed your catchup and you were so strong not to cry. I havent been for a walk today as my dog was in groomers this morning which he hates but he looks so scruffy when his coat gets too long. So me too will be on a long walk in the morning, weather permitting. I cant get him out for a wee if its raining never mind a walk. x
Hi Marl . Drift is a typical border collie will go out in all weathers he will give me a look to say come on take me out even though he is nearly 13 without him i wouldnt go out at all. X
Hi Jen my dog is a little Maltipoo he is so little. I have only had him almost 2 years I got him to keep me company and to get me out walking. He hates the rain and going in the car. I thiught he would get used to the car as i take him in it most days as I have to drive to National trust park where we go walking its only 10 mins away but he cry’s all the way x
Hi Marl. He sounds a lovely little dog enjoy your walk with him today. Jenny. X
Hi Jenny I had a lovely walk its really sunny here today for a change. Did you go out walking. x
Hi Marl. Yes i had a lovely walk its sunny here as well no rain. It makes you feel better when the sun is out lifts your mood. X