Good morning.I am new to the group.I have found out who my real friends are .As well as trying desperately to come to terms with my husband’s death,I find I am having to cope with not having the friends I once had.I have tried everything ,but I have been “ghosted” I am so lonely.I miss them.I don’t know how to cope.
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Hi tearful
I know exactly how you are feeling i lost my one and only true love 2 years ago. Your right about friends deserting us mine have totally disappeared to busy getting on with their perfect lives. It breaks my heart to think all we had is gone. Feeling sad today I’m listening to some music all the songs jim liked wishing he was here with me. The tears have started to fall now . Why does life have to be so hard. If it wasnt for the support i get on here i would have gone mad long ago. Hope you can find some peace and we are all here for you . X 
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Hi Misprint.Really sorry you having a bad day.There is no grief like it.I lost a much wanted baby when I was 24 weeks, back in 1973.We had each other to help with our grieving.Now as you say everyone around you moves on and has their wonderful lives to live with partners and friends.No-one has a clue do they.Sending a hug.xx
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@Tearful welcome to the forum & sorry for your loss. Unfortunately, the only people that ‘get’ it are those who have lost a partner. There is no comparison and while some people are thoughtless I think others mean well but just don’t understand what we are going through. You will find lots of people on here who do understand. Take care.
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Thank you Jan.Take care x
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Yeh losing a baby is sad … my daughter miscarried but this pain we feel - there’s really nothing like it is there ? I had a friend at weekend who tried to say when she lost a baby how it was as bad as me losing my husband ? She really has no idea does she ? People dont !!! 
xx
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@Tearful
I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your husband. It is very sad to hear that your friends are not supporting you especially at this time when you need them the most.
The only thing I can say is to keep on posting on this site as you will have plenty of friends who will be able to comfort you and won’t abandon you.
Take care. Sending love xx
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Hi Deb.I had to go through the birth .I was in labour for 32 hours.I then had to have a D&C as there was products of conception retained.It was hell.Nothing like this pain I am experiencing losing my husband.At the time of our loss , everyone said at least we can try for another baby,another one was ,well the good thing is you are young and healthy.I am waiting for someone to say move on from this he would want you to be happy.No-one in my small circle understands.I hope you are ok today .xx
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Thank you Alir.
I just feel so alone.Our youngest son lived with us .He is autistic,but functions well.He drives and has a part time job.However he has plummeted into grief ,he is so out of his comfort zone.We are supporting each other,but it is so hard.He can’t bear change.He struggled with his dad’s diagnosis then his death.I don’t know where to turn or how to cope.Today is an awful dark day.I just want my husband back.I hope your day is better x
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Thank you @Tearful peoole really dont understand at all do they ! Im sick of always having to justify it to people ! Its the worst pain and the most destabilising thing i have ever been through in my life ! Losing man i love without any choice in the matter !!! A man who has loved and cherished me for 37 years !!! Yeh i had 3 kids and its not always been easy but he was always there for me … through everything xx
B strong. Must admit I feel lonely it is a killer well u have new friend if b it on here. 
look for few little positive things to achieve each day. Go for a walk. It is really really hard to b motivated to do anything but little steps. Look after urself and see if u can join a group
U never know who u will meet.
Day at a time xx
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@Tearful
It is a very stressful situation for you and it is so sad that you have no support at the moment.
It must be very difficult for your son to try and cope with the loss of his Dad and also cope with his own grief and to see you grieving as well.
Life is so unfair for some of us.
I hope you manage to get some kind of support . Are there any grief groups near you? I can’t seem to find anything near me. It’s a pity some of us don’t live in the same area as I am sure we could help each other.
I hope you have a better day and manage a restful night’s sleep. Xx
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@Deb5
I feel for you Deb.
Sending you love and a hug xx
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Thanks @Alir … so sad yesterday. Tried a group yesterday … didnt like it ! It was weird ! Felt like a fish out of water … dont think i will go again … i cant believe my life has come to this ! Going to bereavment groups ? I think maybe my bereavment counselling was enough … this strange world we are now in without our husband/wife ! I would just like to run away somewhere tbh ! Nobody cares ! only my husband cared and now hes gone what is point of it all !!! X
You have described exactly my life. I thought it was just me
Every day
Silence
No life. Deadness
I’m glad I can see sunshine and nature sky and birds
Animals are my best friend esp right now
My cats give me love
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Yeh my nearly 9 month puppy is my best friend too ! She gives me love … cant say anybody else does tbh … people are far too selfish to do anthing for anyone ! Dont put themselves out ! Dont make an effort ! My husband made an effort ! He tried to live best life he could - he was such a kind man and i loved him for it ! Bit all im left with now is no kindness in the world … just a barron empty space of nothingness … an existence …
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I went to a hospice bereavement weekly group in the early days and felt the same @Deb5. There were about 25 people there (4 men), the room was split into two halves, with an us and them attitude. You had to be careful where you sat because it could be ‘somebody’s’ chair. I went twice as I felt awkward. Some of them had been going for years and formed little groups.
My counsellor is setting up monthly groups of no more than eight people, so trying that next Wednesday.
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This is a new group set up and only 4 people but it just felt weird … i was so self conscious ! Bloody groups ! Not a fan tbh … i ran a stroke group with my husband but i dont like that anymore really either ! I dunno why ? I think as you say its the cliqueness of it all … people form cliques and just have a set way of thinking and they wont budge from it …
Ooh its only their opinion that matters ! I just cant be bothered !!! Im not really that interested in their ego’s tbh … its different on here … we all just talk when we want and when its something we understand …
@Deb5
Ahh Deb, sad to hear the group was not good.
What I can’t understand is that these people are also bereaved so should show some kind of compassion and have empathy as they are going through the same devestation.
Shame we don’t all live nearer as we could form our own group.
Hope your day isn’t too bad. Looks like it’s going to be another hot one again.
Xxx
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@Rome18
I know what you mean Rosemary regarding the cliques and the “oh you can’t sit there it’s so and so’s seat”. When I gave up work in 2021 I was looking for a club to join, somewhere I could maybe meet a few new people and make some new friends. I joined a local one that was on every other Tuesday. Lot’s of the people were nice but everyone seemed to sit at the same table every time with the same group of people and no one ever said “come and sit with us” although they all looked at you and smiled.
I left after a couple of times but it didn’t matter in those days as I still had my lovely husband back home, I was secure.
Two years later and like all on here my world has changed. It is now more than ever that we need these sort of places for support. At least we have friends on this forum to talk to when we need to. Xxx
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