Losing a partner is unbearable isn’t it ?
My husband ,40 years married and he died in October 2023 at home to non Hodgkin’s lymphoma.
Feeling alone and empty is one of many challenges , it s present all the time and I can’t do a damm thing to fill this space. It’s particularly noticeable to me in the evenings and during the night. It drives my insomnia . His absence alongside me , how I ache for his return.
The feeling in the pit of my stomach
The price we pay for giving and receiving love . My house is empty I am empty.
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Sorry for your loss
Yes it’s the deafening silence once you close the house door behind you and the empty side of bed when you wake up
I’m 6 1/2 months in and struggle daily
No advice I’m afraid, just I know where you are and how you feel
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My grandma went through the same thing. I held her when she cried and I cried with her for my grandpa. Married for over 50 years to the love of her life. But then 2 years later, she was teaching me some moves from her U3a belly dancing class. She still misses him but the loneliness and emptiness subsided over time
You said “the loneliness and emptiness subsided overtime” - it’s music to my ear! I am 8+ months in and still struggle with deep sadness, loneliness and emptiness every single day - now what you said has given me hope that it’s not going to be forever. Thank you for sharing.
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So sorry for your loss. I lost my soulmate of 37 years so suddenly over 8 months ago and even now I struggle every day with sadness, loneliness and emptiness.
I try to keep busy and what I find helps me enormously is talking to him as if he was still around; I say good morning, I am going out, I am back and good night everyday. I talk to him while walking on the streets, every where. I know it doesn’t always work with everyone but it does give me great comfort.
Take care x
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Confidence is holding me up. Takes me a lot of courage to go on my own. I still feel wobbly but not as much. I still struggle trying to do what my husband used to do. Trying to figure out how to pay for things on line is really frustrating when I can’t seem to make it work.
Grief makes me so tired. I still seem to get in a muddle.
Indecision is a biggy for me.
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My angel used to do everything too and now I have no choice but to plug up the courage and deal with whatever needs to be dealt with. I am learning as I go along every day quite anxiously to be honest - but proud once succeeded and then worry about what’s to happen next, stressful. This is now life without my beloved - sad, lonely and empty.
Stay strong x
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Keep going
One day at a time
Keep going and don’t forget to rest
Yes it is tough what with covid and other medical issues seem to happen too. I seem to fall asleep at any time with exhaustion. If I try my mind gets flashbacks.
My son gets them too.
Someone said are you over it. I thought how could you be after not even two years. What an odd question. Even I always knew couldnt be that soon years ago when no one had died very close.
Seems every death I have had to experience caused trauma in a different way. All so different and difficult.
Can never get it out of your mind at times when you get reminded.
My brother wouldnt face it. I had to. Each was made very much worse by not being allowed to do what would help.
When my baby was born dead not being allowed to do things for him. When my mum was found dead on the floor not being able to do anything as she was wisked away to have a post mortem. When my father died I stayed all the time as I knew he was dying but it was harrowing what happened. I was allowed to help lay him out. But when my husband went I was denied it all.
@Angel1309 yes I do talk to him too . I can always find something to do to try and ease the pain . I can’t see it getting better for a long while as I loved him so much . We had 30 years but I so wished always we would have 30 more 58 was far too soon to go
Far too soon to go , my husband was also 58yrs. You build your life together , plan your future and then it’s gone.
I feel your distress 
@wilderness thank you and. my sympathies to you too . It’s not something I ever thought would happen it’s heartbreaking for us all
@Jol Talk to him and feel his presence helps doesn’t it? I know I can’t see it getting better anytime soon either but what to do - life is cruel and empty without our beloved by our side. We didn’t just lose our beloved, we lost our whole life our whole world fell apart the day he was taken 
.
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I do say things to him but your hit with a wall of silence . I war his wool jacket in the evening and I have his duvet and cover over me at night that was over him.
I still need to take zopiclone to sleep for insomnia. .
Does anyone else do similar ? Or have insomnia?
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I wear his T-shirt as my nightshirt, his fleece jacket in the house, his scarf to go out. I use the duvet that we used and I keep getting up at night and can’t get back to sleep until after hours! So you are not alone!
Take care x
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I am not ready to go through his clothing . I plan to always keep his coat and shoes in our small hallway when I do feel ready .
There will be other items I know I will keep .
His dressing gown is hanging in the bathroom .
You?
I lost my husband of 38 years on 16th December 2023 so 5 weeks now feeling lonely stressful anxiety attacks are ridiculous having to take medication so much paperwork and i always gave it to my hubby as not good at form filling having had 2 strokes would love some advice on how to cope
@Cheeky haven’t you any family or friends that can help you . I mainly rang to sort out all the things . Have you applied for bereavement payment . If below pension age you can
Breathe ! Go at your own pace . We loose our security anxiety is fear driven.
Reach out , Your doing that by posting on here. That’s a step in the right direction .
Focus on one or two things at a time not the bigger picture as it is overwhelming.
The government website is helpful who to contact . Keep reaching out , breathe.
Our lives have been turned upside down . Prescribed medication keeps you in touch with your GP so that’s a good thing .
And keep talking to those around you say how you are feeling and if you can what you are needing