For about 3-4 weeks after my husband died I had quite a few visitors.
Now it is 1 or sometimes 2 a week.
I know they have their lives.
I just don’t feel I have one anymore.
I find that practically all the people who would contact me online
have gone as well. I usually have to contact them first.
After the funeral, things definitely changed.
I have been honest when I have felt really down but I have also been honest about how much I appreciate everyone. I am also not all gloom and doom when in contact with others (although this post is).
This is so true
I find it so hard to fill my day
By the evening I’m sat in tears with nobody to talk to
Me and Steve would always find something to watch on tv at 9
But now there is no one to watch tv with or to chat with To laugh with
Thinking of everyone who is going through this We are not alone there are so many of us xx
Sure so many of us have these same feelings.
It is so hard going forward and even harder to always try and think about the positive stuff n our lives , whilst constantly dealing with the agonising inner sadness.
Big hugs to everyone. Xx
So very true, and whilst not wanting to sound selfish, I was constantly with Terry from the beginning of his ill health until he was diagnosed with non hodgkins lymphoma and lived for another 11 month’s , I wanted to love and care for him and so hoped he could beat this awful disease but it wasn’t meant to be and he died with me holding his hand till his last breath .
As I said ,I dont want to sound selfish ,but I worry who is going to look after me and be with me of i become seriously ill , It doesn’t bear thinking about ,but these are the things I worry about ,I suppose there is always going to be one person left, but i truly understand now when people say when both partners die together , at least they went together and no one was left on their own to grieve .
Love to us all on here xo
I try not to think about these things too, but if I am having a really bad day , I think of loads of negative stuff that I would not have done if Terry had still been alive.
Holidays are heartbreaking for me as Terry loved planning our times away together , and i also will never share another holiday with Terry
Love to you and all of us who are suffering this awful nightmare
I went to Liverpool to say goodbye to my sister yesterday, she came here for the funeral. She got on the train to go back to London. I cried so much, the funny thing is… shes lived in London for 30 years and we weren’t that close anymore but i felt i was losing someone again.
Ive got so much pain in my heart for my Nick
I came home to an empty house.
Txt a friend to see if she would walk the dogs with me.
She met me, the weather was lovely but i was so upset/angry… she will probably be busy next time i ask.
Then i came home to an empty house and sat in the dark, crying. Im trying to binge watch dramas but i just stare at the TV and it doesn’t sink in.
My neighbour txt me and said she was worried about me so i put lights on quickly.
Went to bed and just lay there, crying what a rubbish existence x
Your grieving & now will have to deal with Mick’s family & the will, do you have to go to the reading of it? The good thing is that you are an executor & a beneficiary so there is nothing they can do.
Id be inclined to not go to the reading but to text the auntie as she’s the other executor tomorrow & say you need to work together, when is she free to meet with the solicitor to discuss which of the responsibilities there each going to deal with etc… I think you may find she might respond & say you do it all & she will be available to sign things that she has to as the other executor, which would be a win for you, try not to worry his family may get irate but legally there is nothing they can do so just have nothing to do with them & leave it to your solicitor.
The Aunty lives down south and is their side of the family.
Blood is thicker than water… and all that!
I cant talk to her, shes trying to get information out of me to pass onto his evil brother.
Im leaving it to the solicitor and i said to communicate with him now and not me x
You’ve done the right thing, put yourself first now & let the solicitor deal with her, it will dll get sorted & you will not have to have dealings with these people again, also what his brother says I’d take with a pinch of salt, just because he says this & that it doesn’t mean it’s true
This was our first photo 12 years ago… both so young.
Nick aged well though and still looked gorgeous.
I had a horrible marriage before Nick.
So, Nick was my last chance for happiness and its been stolen from me i feel cheated
Our last photo… we got married 15th January. In our home, very emotional. The vows meant so much.
Theres photos of Nick looking ill, bloated from steroids but i dont look at them x
but it wasn’t meant to be and he died with me holding his hand till his last breath 
.
to us all on here xo
