Its exhausting to pretend to be happy infront of people sometimes isnt it?
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Agree! If you let your happy face slip then people wonder whats wrong with you.
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Hi. Thank you for your message. It helps knowing im not the only one who feels like this . Its not just the loneliness that gets us . Its every part of our lives are now different , we are different . We were loved unconditionally and they knew our ways . They knew if we felt a bit down , and they could make us feel better again ,without us having to explain what was wrong . They just got us , in everyway ā¦ .
.Us together had a strenghth that could overcome any problem .now me on my own the smallest problem feels like a disaterā¦I also put such an act on ,especially with my kids , I would of been letting my husband down ,if i put my grief onto them . They have enough missing their dad , their hero , all i want is for my kids to have as happy a life as they can . I had the most wonderful happy life , with my husband , and thats one thing i am so grateful for ,that i had that life ā¦ I try not to look at the future , it scares me , im just living each day and see what happensā¦but i must say , this site has definitely kept me going ā¦such lovely kind people going through heartbreak ,but still willing to listen and helpā¦I do laugh and find things funny now , but it has took me over two years to find some humour. It was all doom and gloom . And that wasnt me at all . I was always full of fun . But of course losing the most precious person in my life has changed me x sending hugs to all xtake carex
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Our lives are so very different often I donāt recognise it . Planet grief. And yes we are forever changed. Even though I know itās our own unique path we now walk I do struggle with the loneliness that it brings . No one close to me understands but here I feel people do. I struggle to find my place now . When we have lost that unconditional love the person who we turned to itās overwhelming what comes with it . If I think about the next day or the day after I feel myself crumbling behind my closed door . The silent walls.
My future scares me to .
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VERY!!
Sending love and hugs x
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Hi , there was a thread on here in 2022. Called transported to a different planet . We called it WTF planet because WTF happened. ( please excuse the language) because people dont understand ā¦i had put i felt like an alien ,i still do a lot of the time , no one understands unless they have lost the love of their lives . The emptiness in our life now , the best part of us missing , i often walk from room to room as if im looking for something or someone . Planet grief is a good explanition of it xtake carex
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We only had four years together but they were wonderful. We both enjoyed being a couple again and everything that that encumbered. Not being a couple or having that soulmate is such a lonely place and I hate it!
Sorry having a big wobble tonight. 
.
Big hugs to friends on here. .
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Big hugs for you.
Hope you can get some sleep xx
Thanks so much RoseGarden. .
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It doesnt matter if it was only 4 years. It was 12 years for meā¦ we crammed so much in. Going abroad twice a year and somewhere in the UK with the dogs.
I look at some people, especially on fbā¦ oh theyve been married 40 years. They live seperate lives and cant stand eachother.
Be grateful you found the right one and you loved eachother. Its not about the length of time. Its about the love, commitment, trust and friendship.
I was married to my kids dad for 6 years. Hated him. Hes an alcoholic. We did nothing as a couple and he was a rubbish father.
Nick has been more of a dad. Enthusiastic in whatever they want to do.
Ex husband is still alive being a pi** head.
I feel so bitter about that 
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Hi MandyC15.
Thank you .
I was married to a waste of space for 30 plus years. Never knew love like I did with my partner and he felt the same as me. Wish we had met years b4 as had both been on our own for several years prior to meeting. We did so much and laughed all the time -it was wonderful.
I know so many of us on here feel the same and nothing makes that better.
This forum is great to air our thoughts and to know that others listen and understand.
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I wish me & Nick had that long
Only 12 very happy years.
I dont have grandchildren.
I think going back to work mon to fri is the way forward for meā¦ hopefully from 3rd june.
Then i just have to keep busy at the weekends x
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I know exactly how you feel, it is 18 months now since Terry left me, i am still so lost without him. If I go out socialising , I always miss him, I actually feel lonely and left out of things .
Also yes , there is that one special person not there for you anymore , worrying about you if someone upsets you because iām so sensitive to lot of things, he understood me and always brought me out of myself when my demons got the better of me , he loved me unconditionally, he made me laugh ,I was the serious one but he always seen the funny side of life.
The future scares me as well, I have 2 grown up sons and 4 grandchildren , and they are great, but they have their own lives, i.have to make an new one but i dont know if i can, Yerry and I were together 50 yrs how do.i move on from that , iām 69 next week, so on the wrong side of 60 , what do I do at my age. Terry and I would be doing all the things that most retired couples do and I am missing out on that . All I can see is a lonely future without him . Thanks for listening . xo
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Hi @Carly Iām sorry you are feeling the way you do. I understand and can relate to what you have said. When you have been with someone for so long (we were together fifty years) it is so hard to start all over again. Where do we go or who with? I have friends that I see but not on a regular basis as they work and have families of their own. I have two grown up children and one grandchild but only see one ocassionally and the other maybe once or twice a week. It is such a lonely existence now. I donāt like my life and donāt think I will ever get used to being here without my husband. I miss him so much. Sending a hug your way.x
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Carly
We were married for 40 yrs and I am in my 60ās my husband was 58 when he died 7 months ago.
I donāt think about making a new life you hear people saying this, and moving on ā¦ It upsets me as I donāt want to do either.
It is so lonely even if we are not alone you mentioned family.
I too do not know how I am going to live out what life is given to me without the love and understanding having that 1 gives us.
Everything I do each step I carry a deep sadness inside me and thatās the love we had which I deeply miss.
Reading about the grieving process there is a lot of conversation around continuing bonds now thatās words I like . Taking our loved one with us , and another is finding meaning . That can be on a big scale setting up something in our husbands name to go on to do good or daily things which have individual meaning. For example it was our Ruby wedding anniversary on May 5th We gave each other a card a few weeks before his death and he bought me a ring which I donāt take off itās as important as our wedding rings . I went and bought a love spoon and had it engraved with 40 and our initials , we have a few in our home but sadly he wonāt see this one . And although I cry over that , it brought meaning to my loss on our special day and Iāve also since decided that I want it to be placed with me on my death. Obviously this is personal to me but if I canāt find meaning as I live out my time I just canāt go it alone 
The future scares me more than my own death .
I hope the continuing bond and finding meaning helps you 
Sending you love .
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Thatās just how I feel I donāt like my new life on my own I donāt go out much and me and my husband didnāt have friends. So I only have my family when they want me
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To the lady whos husbands funeral is on Wednesday, ill be thinking of you xxx
My Nicks is on Thursday 
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Thank you mandyc15
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Hi Loobiloo2 , thank you for your kind words . Exactly , where do we go and who with ,your story sounds very like mine, I have friends as well who I meet up with for lunch , but not regularly , because as you say they have families and lives so different from ours now.
I feel so alone all the time and its just hell sometimes .
I try not to.think about the future too much as it is too scary . Hugs back to you. xo
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Thats lovely what you did for your 40th wedding anniversary .
Its my birthday next week , the second one without him , I have the last birthday card he gave me, I put it up last yr and iI will put it up this yr , the words inside are lovely and give me some comfort which I sorely miss , the one special person in your life who.puts you first and foremost all the time I miss that so much .
Thank you so much for your kind words , they are a comfort , in this awful lonely road we all on here are on . Xo
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