Id like to say that things have changed but i still feel like im in a nightmare and have already been told that people who dwell on their grief are boring,well i must be very boring as i cant seem to stop going down a road i fear i will never leave.Its unbearable and my bi polar and ptsd make it worse that and not knowing when the council will make me leave they are as we speak ripping out my radiators and boiler they have ruined my sons room and i wont have any hot water for a while so i cant even have a bath,that and all the bills i cant pay,i am on my own and find that the people who can give me a little help have vanished,all i want to do is be with my kids

Adjectives that I would use to describe you are “loving”, “caring”, “compassionate”, “a wonderful mother” - anyone who describes you as “boring” because you are still grieving the loss of your sons really doesn’t know you at all.

You posted pictures of your sons earlier, seeing their infectious smiles and knowing they are not here made me so sad, the pain you must feel is indescribable.

I am so sorry the council are giving you trouble, sometimes they can be bullies and not be understanding, if you need any help, if there is anything we can do on your behalf with the council, please do not hesitate to ask.

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Thank you for your kindness

You never have to thank us, you are suffering insufferable pain, it is our duty to help you. We’re here if you need us.

And now the person he was getting me to the shops twice a month has decided to text me that he cant help me anymore so another let down i will have to sit here with no food till monday

Hello, why can he not help you? Do you have family? Are there any social workers around who help you? How about food banks - do you have access to those? [Edited by admin]

thank you i am a bit wary ofgiving out my number,

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Absolutely, I haven’t given my number to anyone here either as I am a private person, [edited by admin].

Hope you’re feeling better today.

Not so good todayi am really trying and hope you arnt offended but i think im getting unwell but i dont want to be a nuicanse to anybody which is what i feel , even the mental health team havent got back to me i feel like im drowning

Of course I am not offended at all.

I am sorry today is such a bad day. Unfortunately mental health services seem to be under so much pressure these days, that it is taking them ages to get back to a lot of people. Please do not think they don’t think you’re important, they do, it’s just that there are so many patients and so few mental health professionals.

If you are having a really bad day, you can contact Samaritans for free on 116 123. They will not store your number, so you do not need to worry about someone getting your number.

You can also email them at jo@samaritans.org, but the response time is about 24 hours, so might not be of mush use today.

Alternatively, please continue posting here about your feelings if you think that will help you. We are here for you anytime you need help through this dreadful time.

i have found the samaritans fairly useless,they never speak back

I am sorry you did not find the Samaritans useful. You can try calling Child Death Helpline, on 0800 282 986, their opening times are

Monday to Friday 10am to 1pm
Tuesdays 1pm to 4pm
Wednesdays 1pm to 4pm
Every evening 7pm to 10pm

Maybe they will be of more help as the person answering your call will also be someone who has lost a child, whereas the volunteers at Samaritans might not know what to say as they are not trained for child bereavement.

i will try them thank you

That’s ok, really hope they’re able to be of some help to you, it must be so difficult to cope when mental health services have been unable to reply to you.