I feel so lonely since suddenly, 7.5 months ago, losing my partner of 41 years. Things that I liked doing before I now have no iterest in. I liked cooking but now find it very hard and eating alone unbearable. I have no family and only a few friends. I did not realise how much I relied on my partner for practical matters around the house. I keep the radio on all day but the house is just so empty. I am 75 and was not ready to live on my own just yet. I am not one that likes my own company but I am hoping that things will improve in time and I will enjoy life a bit more. At the moment I am really sad and cannot come to terms with my loss.
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@flowergarden I’m so sorry to read about your loss. I completely understand losing interest in things you used to like doing. I lost my partner of 11 years suddenly just over 2 months ago and am feeling extremely sad and lonely, especially now that the official rituals/ceremonies are over. I relied on him for so much of my social interaction and conversation - he was charismatic, I am quiet. Now that he is gone, I am struggling to trust anyone else with my thoughts and feelings (although I am seeing a counsellor, which helps). He was my best friend and we had a really deep bond. It is all so difficult, and I feel you’ve described so much of what I’m feeling too. It’s our wedding anniversary next week and I don’t know I’m going to cope. Thank you for sharing. I really hope you find small joys 
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It’s an incredible loneliness and nobody else can fill that void they have left behind. It’s a huge adjustment to learn to live and cope alone. I am fortunate that I work full time as it helps to have a structure and routine to the days. Nights and weekends though are awful. I find even watching TV programmes without him is hard. Nobody to discuss anything with, just silence and background noise of the TV as company. It is 12 mths for me and I am praying it gets easier and I become accustomed to it all. The thought of another possibly 20 yrs ahead of me is daunting. Hopefully we will all find some joy and happiness ahead of us
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I am also quiet and find conversation difficult sometimes. My partner was very talkative when we socialized and I was happy to stay in the background. I also saw a Councellor which in the short term helped but the next day I was back to feeling very alone again. Anniversaries are difficult but I am sure you will get through it - we have to do our best to stay positive. I alsways wake up feeling very low and anxious. I never imagined that I would feel quite so lonely and my whole life changed. Trying to learn to do things that my partner always did. He had a massive stroke whilst we were watching television and died in hospital the next day so no time for preparation. I do hope your anniversary is not as bad a day as you imagine - often the participation of something is worse than the event itself. I would write a list of things to do on that day and the next day too - I find list making is good, especially when you can tick them off as having been achieved. Best Wishes
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I’m so sorry to hear about your husband and now you have to navigate through this new life which you didn’t want. My husband died suddenly and unexpectedly which changed my life. He had just turned 53 and now I have years on my own. I’m trying to keep busy making lots of plans but still missing that special person when I am alone. I live with my son but he is moving out in a couple of weeks which I am pleased for him but going to be hard as I would of had my life with my husband, just the 2 of us. I don’t like my own company either so hopefully in time I will adjust. Life is so unfair and cruel. I often shout out why. Take care and big hugs @flowergarden Xx
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Thinking of you, yes you expect to grow old together and your life changes in an instant. I felt like the next 15 to 20 years or so I’m just filling in time until I meet him again but then I remember friends & family so push myself. My mum is a huge inspiration to me, she’s 87 & suffered loss twice, yet she is cheerful & stoic x
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I’m right there with you. I don’t watch TV anymore and don’t really know why. I keep thinking I should cancel the cable but keep thinking that one day it’ll interest me again. I actually started cooking after my wife passed but ended up throwing away so much food that I stopped because I just don’t eat that much anymore.
I think when we find our soul mate, that we kind of isolate from the rest of the world because the love of our lives was really all we needed. At least that’s how it was for us. And then when they’re gone, we’re pretty much alone at a time when compassion can mean the world to us!
One of the many things I’ve learned about losing a spouse is that no one can understand what we’re going through except for another who feels the same pain, because it’s a very unique pain.
I’m still where you are. I haven’t yet come to terms with my loss. But I do believe I’ll find a way eventually. I have to believe it because the alternative is to bleak. I have moments where I totally lose it for no reason at all. I’m just overwhelmed with my loss. I think you’re doing the right thing coming here and reaching out. I’m doing the same. Perhaps together we can all eventually figure out how to live again.
I wish you peace
Chuck
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Thank you so much, it has really been a comfort talking to others who are on the same journey, knowing that we are all feeling the same pain. Take care, look after yourself x
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I lost my husband suddenly to a heart attack just over a month ago and share the feelings of being utterly alone and losing interest in everything. Even the things I enjoyed doing by myself are of little interest and all I seem to do is dwell on what’s happened until I feel physically sick. We were together 30 years and the thought that I may live another 30 (or more) without him is an awful thought. At the moment I don’t want to live at all but I know I have to for my children.
I know how you feel , I used to love going for a coffee on my own , on the way to get shopping in , bit of me time , now though I can’t face anything I used to enjoy , don’t even enjoy going to the football with my son anymore and my wife used to joke wether she or football was the love of my life 
I understand how you feel.I lost my husband of 37years,6months ago.We had no children.The house is so empty without him.I have no interest in any thing,I use to love cooking.I don’t see the point when it’s only me.I spend most of my time just watching tv.I hope things will improve for you and everyone else. Take care.
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I agree with you. I dwell on how he died - one moment watching TV and 24 hours later he died. I have had friends round for coffee this morning but before they left I was incredibly sad (tried not to show it) because I knew they would soon be leaving me on my own. I hate being on my own in the house but know I have to get used to it. So this afternoon had another meltdown. I know we must meet up with people (either family, which I have not got) or friends and not isolate ourselves but when they go it is harder than ever.
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Thinking of you and your not alone in what your going through. Take care x
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It the days are long the nights are dark tv on I can here myself talking as tina here in my mind she is Wish she was here x hate it the quiet I can go on and on we all in the same way . O well off to bed it is
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Does it get easier, it’s 15 months since my husband died, I have my daughters close by but no other family bother, I have no friends as we only needed each other and my husband found it difficult to trust people, I have had friends but lost contact as have cared for family members for years, but never needed anyone. I am finding this year more difficult than last year, I think knowing this is now my life till I die, I retired last year so don’t have work. Not having someone just to go out with whether a meal, drink even a walk is not the same by yourself. Just sitting in the house watching tv with someone, I haven’t been able to watch programmes we watched together since hubby passed. Even miss someone to snuggle into at night, and tell me I’m loved, we never went a day without saying love you to each other. Life is rubbish now and will never be the same.
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I have come to realise I can’t continue on like this with the awful loneliness, so after 12mths I am starting slowly to get out and about and meet new people and forge a new life, it’s easier said than done and requires a lot of effort but faced with a possible 20yrs plus ahead of me, I realise only I can change things. I have no family but do have a few good friends. I am going on holiday in June and spending the whole of Xmas in the Lake District by myself. I spent last Xmas totally alone, with only my memories and past to keep me company, I felt like Miss Haversham from Great Expectations and I can’t put myself through that anymore as it’s pointless, I’m still here and owe it to myself to find a new life as it’s not going to come knocking on my door. Life is precious as we all know and it’s for living. The dead are not coming back and going over and over the sadness and heartache is not going to change anything, it just prolongs the sadness and misery. None of us know when our numbers up and while I still have good health I have to move forwards, not onwards, forwards. There is a very true saying…life is what you make it. 12mths of grief, sadness, feeling alone, lost, lonely is enough. I feel a shift inside me that knows my happiness and joy is in my own hands. My husband is not coming back so I have to choose to let go. His love will always be with me wherever I am, my emotions will come and go but I still have the will to live so that’s what I intend to do. The worse in life that can happen already as so no point in staying in a dark place when there is light ahead…I also want my home to be a place of peace and comfort, not a mausoleum or god’s waiting room…
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Well done ,I’m sure your husband would be proud of you . I hope at some point I can get to that point , although at present I’m only a month into this horrible journey and still feel numb and indescribable pain .
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I no what you saying it’s horrid Don’t no what I’m doing am I just surviving not sure I can keep going lost in side my own house
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Grief and loss is very personal to thedividual but I do believe at some point/stage on this journey, we all have to draw a line under our suffering. I arrived here in my journey when I asked myself and honest question…if there is a simple pill that could be taken so you could go and join them would I take it? The answer is no because I WANT TO LIVE, it’s a very important thing to acknowledge in yourself
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@Dino13 it’s way too soon for you to even comprehend what I have wrote…the brain, heart and body have to process, adjust, adapt to loss it takes as long as it takes but there will come a point where you no longer want to continue bearing all the heaviness of grief, only you will know when that light bulb moment comes along. The soul has another journey for us and will always I believe show us the path to continue
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