Hi @bjane, @RCB and @Meebee, I’ve got itchy fingers tonight and have already replied to few posts so I couldn’t miss you girls out. I know Meebee is watching these posts so I am hoping she will eventually rejoin the forum.
I enjoy your chats and and it’s nice to be a (mostly) silent partner.
Hope you all have a better day tomorrow than you had today. x
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Morning Al, always nice to hear from you, or should that be see?! Hope you have a good day today and like you, hope Meebee is okay and comes back to us. Take care x
Hi Rachel, so glad you have a few days off now and it looks like the weather should be lovely too , good timing! How dare a patient’s relative shout at you. what on earth got into them?! This lack of respect and aggression towards health workers and police is so upsetting, some people seem to have lost any sense of decency and gone a bit depraved. Is this what living with Covid has done to people? I can understand feelings of depression and a loss of control but whatever makes them turn on the very lovely people who are helping them. Makes me so mad. You didn’t send for me though, I’m available for stroppy relatives as well at the terrible woman! Don’t forget! And I wonder why you have to explain yourself to HR, do they have no empathy or compassion. I’m struggling to understand a swathe of the population at the moment. So sorry Faith is disheartened, though not surprised, it’s been terrible for them . But glad Kate’s okay at least, one less to worry about.I thought Lummy days were some kind of having a really bad day! So a bit like”Oh my days”. I might adopt it and will try out “cheers drive” on our Yorkshire contingent, ha ha. I know what you mean about small talk, I went for yet another coffee and cake with another friend yesterday , met a couple more outside and chatted for ages, then Malcolm’s sister phoned, then a friend from Weston phoned. Just got inside the hose and another friend turned up with a magazine. Lovely, but I felt absolutely exhausted and had a headache , it’s just too much in our state isn’t it,? One thing at a time is more than enough at the moment! The friend in Weston list her husband a long time ago and said her only piece of advice was to accept all social invitations even if we don’t feel like it. But there are limits and yesterday was over the top!! What day are you meeting up with HR next week? Will have to go, have a counselling session at 9 and don’t want to still be in my pjs! Have a lovely few days r
and r. Lots of love xxxxxxxx
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Hi bjane, lovely to hear from you - but I rec’d no email to say that you’d replied! You’ve been busy! I know what you mean about overwhelm! in the past 6 weeks, I’ve only seen one friend as returning to work is tough and I was so depleted, can’t do small talk… Was anxious before the HR thing - got sick, IBS, eye infection, all anxiety related - and then I had to do a zoom thing with my Boss and a 12 year old in an office and say that in the past 3 years, I’d buried my mother in law, my Mum and now my Dad. It felt pointless really, how can we help you blah blah…so I said that Matron had refused to let me drop my hrs despite the arthritis being severe in both feet (it just exacerbated after Dad died and I am on the waiting list for steroid injections) and that the Trust Wellbeing Officer declined me any more than 6 counselling sessions through the NHS - despite the counsellor feeling I needed more! What a joke! And what a waste of time plus the added stress to me! If you were local, i would have invited you to join the Meeting!!! When Joan died, I took one day off and then 5 weeks when Mum died and my sickness record over 30 years is exemplary. It’s unbelievable, bjane, the hoops you have to jump through in the NHS…Sorry to moan on… Glad you have lots of people keeping in touch with you, that’s so nice - if exhausting at times! I hope you’re enjoying the lovely weather and spending time with your family. I have 2 weeks off now - bliss! Found some lovely photos of my Dad recently - when he was 70 - strong and well and happy and it was lovely to remember him like that - so loving and present. We will keep celebrating his life and lovely Malcolm’s life xxx Lots of Love, Rachel xxxxxx
Hello AL2020 and Hello Meebee - love to you both. Rachel xxx
So glad to have got this thread back! Couldn’t find it and sometimes only look when there’s a notification. So happy we’re back and Al too and Meebee, hope she’s all right . Messaged her a while back and Al said he did too, worried about her. I’m so glad you’ve got two weeks off, you sound as if you’ve had a terrible time. What a shower- I’m trying to stay polite- but substitute anything you like in there!! How heartless and demanding can people be, I never would have believed the NHS could treat their own lovely staff like that, I can feel my blood boil on your behalf. It would take a damned sight more than a …rolling pin to have any effect on them, they have treated you abominably. They are also making me swear, or maybe it’s the combined effect of that and Covid. My friend said she’d started using the word quite a bit lately , so much so that her(grown up) son asked if she had Tourette’s !! 
Starting to look like I have too! Lovely that you’ve found those photos of your Dad, we don’t want to remember them as they were at the end but it’s so hard not to isn’t it, Are you going to frame them? I’ve got lots of photos out, all over the place but can’t seem to get round to doing anything with them, other than looking and remembering and shedding tears. All part of the grieving process though I suppose. Hope you get yourself rested and restored I body and mind over these two weeks, and do some nice things if you can. We’ve just heard that we’re in stricter measures again from Tuesday, oh joy!! Look
after yourself and maybe you can catch up with a few friends and do things for you , that you enjoy. Time for the carer to care for herself. Oh just before I go, have you thought of Sue Ryder counselling? It’s really helping me and I’m sure they would be more understanding. Have a lovely break, lots of love and a big hug 
xxxx
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Hello again @bjane, @RCB and @Meebee.
Rachel, you call me Al (I feel a song coming on!) and thanks for your reply. I have been in touch with Meebee recently and she’s ok but not coping well but we’re limited in what we can do to help. I will continue contacting her to ensure she’s ok.
Counselling is a very personal thing. I have had an assessment and two sessions but ended it after my second session. I cannot fault the service offered by SR and I only ended it because I felt I was coping sufficiently and didn’t want to prevent someone more deserving a place on the counselling service.
bjane, (can I call you Jane?) I hope your counselling benefits you and it sounds like it is. Rachel, go for it if you think it would benefit you. You’re having a tough time at your work which is ridiculous because as a patient I was always appreciative of a good nurse.
bjane, best of luck and patience with your latest lockdown. I’m lucky in my area of Scotland as there are very few cases of Covid, so far!
Having told the counsellor that I was coping, I have had a few bad days recently and hope my tears don’t run out!
Love to you all and thanks for including me, it means a lot in these horrible times. 
x
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Love that song, Al !!
Nice to have us all back again, just need Meebee but glad you’re in touch and she’s ok at least. Jane is my middle name, but as it’s you you can call me Bobby as long as nobody mentions Roberta! Having said that my best friend at school was a Scot and some of her family insisted on it but made it sound really lovely so I didn’t mind!! Sorry you’ve been having some bad days, maybe this is what happens at this stage, I’ve certainly been feeling that way lately. Those tears must start drying up one day! Take care and keep talking to us xxx
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Hi bjane, I’ll stick with this just now. It makes more sense now I know what it means.
Bobby sounds like a friendly little dog. Do you know the story of Greyfriars Bobby? He was a Skye terrier who gaurded his owners grave for 14 years until he died himself in 1872. There’s a monument to him in Edinburgh.
RCB should now be able to find this thread again… her post in Songs said she couldn’t find it. x
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Ha,friendly little dig indeed! But you are in Scotland so I’ll excuse you!!Yes I’ve seen that monument in Edinburgh, what a faithful little creature, a lovely story.Nice to have a blunt male perspective on here! x
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Phew!! Glad I’m forgiven. 
x
xx how did you send that when it’s so short??!!
Did you mean “How” or “Why” did I send that?
Hi Meebee, I’m so sorry that you feel so lost, grief is so difficult even with your family and friends around you it’s so easy to feel isolated, I hope just talking helps you, I know in the last week of finding this group I am so grateful to be able to talk to people who understand how I am feeling and accept me on my good and bad days so please if you need an understanding ear don’t hesitate to drop me a note xx Take care, look after yourself xx
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Hi Honeybee31
I am so sorry you have lost your partner and so suddenly. It takes a long time to come to terms with such a shock to your system and 5 months is still early days. I lost my wife suddenly nearly 5 months ago, similarly to @bjane who lost her husband suddenly 5 months ago. So it seems we are all floundering together and this site certainly helps.
I sincerely hope @Meebee reads and responds to your post but she has backed off from the site, temporarily I hope, but we look forward to her return. I noticed that you both live in Ayrshire, but that’s a large area and I don’t know if it’s North, South or East.
Take care, AL x
Hi Al, lovely to hear from you and glad you’re in touch with Meebee. Counselling is good but exhausting. I had counselling through work but I prefer my Cruse counsellor as I can just talk to her and I dont feel challenged by her. I dont need challenging whilst bereaved - just getting through each day is enough… The counselling with Cruse has really really helped me. See how you feel - you may want to try it again but it is a very personal thing, as you say. Remember, no one is more deserving of a place on the counselling service - you and your loss, that’s important too. It is ok to grieve and cry for someone you loved so much and spent so much of your life with. You are important x The work thing is just nonsense. Even my Manager said to me that it was The System! You’d think with this pandemic, there could be some approach to make Systems more flexible and compassionate. I was really anxious before the meeting and now I feel sort of cross about being put through it all. I have to go through it all again in 3 months - unless I just resign!!! What does this 12 year old in the Office need to know about my Dad??? How lovely to live in Scotland. I love Scotland and have travelled large parts of it. So beautiful. I love the Outer Hebrides and applied to work there as a Nurse but then decided not to leave my family. I stayed in a place called ?Ludag and a fisherman sailed me across to Barra and then sailed me back at the end of the day. No idea who he was but it was interesting watching him swig whisky on the journey! Happy days! Keep writing here. It’s ok to cry and miss your lovely wife. We are all here. You can write anything here. Love from Rachel xxx LOVE TO MEEBEE - BIG HUG XXXX
Hi bjane, me too, I kept losing this thread - with no notifications… Thanks for all your kind words and support. I just laugh when I read your messages. You need to become a Nursing Union Rep. We’d all be on strike and would definitely get better pay. Hurrah! bjane for Prime Minister! I would definitely vote for you xxx Love the Tourettes! Me too, exactly the same! I know what you mean about the photos. It’s so easy to cry. I think about my Dad at the end of his life and his covid death was truly harrowing. It’s hard to forget those memories and how it felt. To be honest, I don’t think I will be able to forget that last week - and now the 2nd wave - which makes me fearful and sad as I know that people will suffer. Pete and I have a week off together so sorting the garden. Kate was 17 yesterday and now lying in bed with a hangover. Pete offered her some chocolate Birthday cake! You can imagine the response. Faith has resigned from her job as a carer - bullying management - so keeping my eye on her. She’s had a tough 6 months - Grandad dying, her friend (22) died of Adult Cot Death and another friend had a stillbirth - so, poor lovely, has had a struggle - but she has a new guinea pig who she loves. My Dad loved GPs - we had lots when I was little and he was always making cages and runs for them. Faith and I are going to take Scooby to the Cemetery to meet my Dad. Will probs look crazy but who cares?!! Enjoy the lovely weather and family time. Lots of love, Rachel XXXXXX
Thanks for your reply, I am so sorry for your loss and yes it’s early days for us all but having people in the same boat who understand is a massive help. I am in North Ayrshire, Irvine
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Morning Al. I meant how!! It told me I didn’t have enough characters to be able to send a message. Told you I was incompetent ! Have a good day x
Hi Rachel! So glad you’re not having to be there at the moment, you really need a break from all of that.Sorting out the garden with Pete will be very therapeutic, hope the weather’s lovely for you. Poor Faith, I hope she’s coping, it’s awful when your children are suffering , whatever their age , you just want to make everything all right for them like you could when they were small. She’s lucky though to have a lovely, caring Mum like you. Hope Scooby does the job! Our grandaughter has two, with their own instagram page and seemingly hundreds of followers! Can you believe it!! Her uncle Jonjo, a very keen cyclist, is highly offended that hamsters have far more followers than he does!And this will make you laugh. Talking of your Dad making cages, Malcolm
was very practical and could turn his hand to anything so he decided to make a rabbit hutch for Katie’s rabbit. It took ages and he kept “improving” and enlarging it. Finally we had the unveiling and guess what, it was too big to get outside through the door!! He had to dismantle the whole thing and had to endure all four of us laughing our socks off. We never let him forget it!! I hope Scooby enjoys his trip to visit your Dad, that’s a lovely thing to do, who cares how it looks! My Katie FaceTimed me first thing yesterday when I was in bed ,not a pretty sight !! saying they were coming over for the day which was a lovely surprise. We went fo a local reservoir for a walk then drove to a nearby pub for lunch and discovered a puncture! Their car is electric and as it was Saturday afternoon we couldn’t get hold of anyone for ages , finally 3 hours later a recovery truck arrived but couldn’t take us!
We got offered lifts but decided it was a lovely day so we would walk, 4 year old Vivi had her balance bike to assist her! 4 and a half miles later we arrived, 13.000
steps banked! Thought I’d sleep well but still woke up at 4 this morning, so annoying! Hope Kate’s hangover is better now , have a lovely peaceful week. Lots of love xxxx
Honeybee , will try to answer but sometimes three consecutive replies aren’t permitted X
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