Hello Honeybee nice to hear from you. Hope today will be a good day for you and glad to know this site is helpful. It certainly is for us too, as you can see we get very chatty sometimes!! It’s so nice to come on here and be able to laugh, cry, rant or anything else, and we all understand . Take care xx
Hi bjane, You are such a joy! I laugh so much reading your messages! My girls’ pets have hundreds of followers too. The world has gone mad! Malcolm’s rabbit hutch/Mansion made me laugh! Pete made a bird house once and it was so heavy, you could hardly lift it off the ground. It was such a large construction that his Dad and I were teasing him that he’d need a mortgage on it! Glad you had a lovely day at the Reservoir. Shame about the car but well done, Vivi, getting all the way home x Spent yesterday, dismantling a hideous green shed and taking all the parts to the tip. So glad it’s gone, I hated it. The garden seems huge now. We are thinking of putting in a pond and a seating area. We often get frogs appear in the garden - so assuming there was a pond here once. It’s a lovely day in Oxfordshire. Kate about to leave for her very first driving lesson. Exciting times. Growing up fast, bless her. Battery about to die on this computer and no idea where the lead is - yikes! Have a fab weekend and catch up soon. Lots of love, Rachel xxxx
Hi Rachel, thanks for your interesting reply. I hadn’t realised you were already receiving counselling from Cruse but I’m glad it’s benefiting you. I was amused by your reference to a 12 year old… I’ve met a few of them in the past. People like that take the worst out of you and leave you frustrated,
I’m glad you enjoyed Scotland and particularly the Outer Hebrides because I was born and brought up there. I think you made a good choice not to work there because it’s only the locals that can put up with the weather. You would probably have returned home within two years. The weather is terrible (most of the time) but the people are lovely. The fisherman with the whisky doesn’t surprise me… it’s just a way of life! The place you stayed might have been Ledaig.
I hope you manage to cope with work now that Covid is on the increase and that you’re not seriously thinking about resigning.
Take care, love from Al x
1 Like
Hi bjane, I hope your weekend was good and no more unnecessary long walks! Luckily you enjoyed it and got your steps in but the experience must have been frustrating.
I was also amused by the reference to Tourettes. Over these past few months I find myself swearing to myself, which is something I never used to do. I suppose it’s just frustration caused by grief.
Thanks for clarifying the “how” or “why”. I didn’t know there was any minimum number of characters.
Take care, love from Al x
Hello Rachel, I’m sure I wrote to you but I can’t find it! Hope you are enjoying this lovely weather in your garden while it lasts. The weather, not the garden! Though it sounds like you’re going for it , dismantling that hideous green shed! I managed to get rid of a hideous ancient orange cement mixer recently, it’s very liberating isn’t it? What will you do with all that space? A pond would be lovely, we have a small one and Malcolm became obsessed with keeping it topped up, leaving the hosepipe all over the lawn. How I cursed him! What I would give to have him doing that again but regrets do no good . He never got it filled to his satisfaction, we told him the liner was probably damaged but still he persevered! A pond’s a lovely thing, we always get frogspawn and lots of lovely little froglets every Spring. The first year I thought we had some horribly deformed frogs with too many legs, hadn’t realised what was going on in there until frogspawn appeared! In spite of the racket they were making! Sometimes a pair of ducks would arrive , always about the same time of year and just for a few days and that felt magical. And we get the odd beautiful dragonfly too. I hope you decide to make a pond as it’s a very relaxing spot, just what you need! . I’ve recently planted a water lily so look forward to it blooming next year with luck. Liked the bird house!
Clearly Pete believes in doing a thorough job, just like Malcolm did! Lovely pair. Hope Kate’s driving lesson went okay, they certainly do grow up so fast, sad and lovely in equal measure. I’m getting philosophical, must be time to put Marly to bed! Take care and look after yourself. Lots of love xxxxx
1 Like
Hello Al, glad to hear you have a silent version of Tourette’s,!! As you said it’s frustration at everything , grief, isolation and coronavirus. And now 6 months more of these restrictions, let’s hope the idiots who rebelled last time have seen a bit of sense now.
Yes it definitely wouldn’t let me post because there were insufficient characters, I don’t know how you managed it! But as you know I’m not very able in that area so probably did something wrong. If ever I had trouble with the computer Malcolm would appear, do exactly what I’d just done and magically the computer would respond. So annoying! I meant to say to Rachel , about whisky in Scotland, we were staying in a hotel in Edinburgh and there was a bottle of whisky on the breakfast buffet . We were told it was for the porridge and I was looking forward to partaking the next morning but it never reappeared, much to my disappointment! Keep talking to us; like I said previously it’s nice to have your male point of view.! Take carex
1 Like
Dear Meebee,
You are not alone unless you feel alone. And we can all feel alone if we let loneliness make us an island. Many of the most gregarious extroverts can be lonely and sad. Joining something that is doing something I feel is worthwhile to others as well as myself is what helps me. We each need to find our way to not feeling alone.
Alistair
1 Like
Dear All, Bjane, Racheal, Al and the new people,
I really wish to thank all of you for your kind thoughts. I backed off the site because of an incident on another post which had been sorted out a while ago now but made me less confident to post anymore. However . I have since then had a lot more problems with my family causing me trouble at my work. Until now I was managing to cope with everything. Despite all the hassle with my family I was dealing with it because I had to and somehow i got through deciding if they want to be like that well it might be a heartbreaking situation but I have to just get on with it. Which in the main I was doing until they started causing problems for me at my work. It started by trying to turn my collegues and friends against me. And for the main it didn’t work. They have a woman at my work who i used to be her boss but is my brothers best friends ex reporting on me to them, And they are now coming into my work and walking past where i am working giggleing and laughing. They are acting like childish bullies just trying to see what they can get away with. My works current solution is for me to go through the back and wait it out but it has been for an hour each time. The work also moved my hours to accommodate my situation which i did not want to agree to but had to. My work wont stop them coming in and i either have to suck it up or leave, bascially which either way makes me feel like crap and my brother and nephew win and get what they want. So then one of my bosses complained i hadnt done my work by a certain time i am now on a new schedule and i also now have less time to complete my work. So I just told him I was going off sick. I am loyal hardworking honest employee. So its a very difficult situation. i have had a lot of other stuff which has been going on lately so that is why I havent been on. I have been private messaging a few people and i thank everyone for there kind thoughts, I am really sorry I haven’t been on I feel i have missed so much of the conversation but i have seen the @meebee things. I do have a lot to catch up on and I will try to as I feel up to it. i just want you to know i miss you all. For the newbies normally I would right you a lovely wee letter back but am sorry I am not upto my usual self right now. But I have to find a way to sort out this very difficult situation of mine even if it is only a temporary solution. L:ongterm I know my only solution is to move away but at this time finances do not permit it. i have been putting a heart if i have read it today but that is all just to say thank you to you all for caring. Right now it means a lot. you all dont know how much it means thank you.
2 Likes
Dear Meebee, I’m sorry to hear you are still having family problems. I am also sorry there is nothing we can do to help except be here for you.
Thank you for the 
and I’m sure others appreciate theirs.
Love and warm wishes from Al x
1 Like
Hi Ann, I know exactly how you feel about cooking meals for one and feeling mean that you are eating ‘his’ portion’. I thought I was the only one that felt like that. i still cant eat the foods that Mike would have loved as we always shared everything. How can we be so irrational but it doesn’t stopus doing it does it? Hope you have a good day today.
Dear All
Sorry I just realised AnnR wasn’t in my list but wanted to say thank you to her to as part of previous message because she too has sent me some lovely private messages.
To all of you know that I am thinking of you too and worrying about how your are doing with your grief and other things. Its just right now am having a very hard time with the catch-22ness of my situation. Got counselling finally throught docs but it was pretty useless. As she was a bit overwhelmed with my stuff and its a phone call so people on here who have read my threads know more. So anyway she is sending me out a leaflet.
I then spoke to someone at a family abuse line and her answer was i was to change my attitude and how i feel about my brother and just get on with it. Which is a nicer way than my work saying get stronger and suck it
up. But amounts to same thing. I have to put up with it and they will get bored I know my brother and nephew they have nothing else in their lives but to try and destroy mine they wont get bored to they succeed. Basically no one seems to come up with a better solutions than I already have which aren’t really an option at this time. And i need a solution now even if its temporary. Even looked at a transfer, a completely new job and taking a unpaid leave of absence from work. Emptying my house, getting a live in job elsewhere and selling everything. My ongoing illness makes this difficult. Sorry my head is wasted after talking to councillors who aren’t very good or rather that i am better than (well better at counselling than) and that many people on this site are better than. Very very difficult. Am feeling quite lost and broken right now. Sorry didn’t mean to go on just a very difficult time right now.
Take care all
Meebee
Hello Meebee, I feel so sad that your family are making things awkward for you at this very difficult time. Please don’t do anything rash about future decisions while your mind in tired and in a fragile state. Counselling will really only give you space to say all the things you’ve said in your post so may not be right for you just at this moment. Right now you are the most important person to look after. Treat yourself as if you were helping someone else through this maze of feelings. Don’t be hounded by bully tactics from anyone else. I know you may be feeling down and vulnerable but when in doubt do nothing. Try not to react to others and don’t take anything personally unless it is to help you. We are all here for you so feel free to rant and get it all off your chest. It’s what this site is for and we all feel your pain and your need for compassion at this time. Take care.
1 Like
Oh Meebee how can they tell you to change your attitude. So lacking in any understanding or empathy… Like I said in the other message we all want to help you and feel so impotent because we can’t do anything practical to take some of that off your shoulders. Jean’s right. you must look after yourself and don’t feel pressurised into doing anything while you’re not in a good place. And having a rant is good for you , we’ve all done it and w’re here for you. Lots of love xxx
1 Like
Hi Al, Lovely to hear from you. Hope you’re ok. I have 2 more sessions with Cruse and then it ends. I feel a bit unsettled about that as it’s the one hour a week where I can talk freely about my Dad without worrying about upsetting someone… How fabulous to grow up in the Outer Hebrides. I loved all my trips there and would really like to go again. The people were lovely. I was walking around Barra and the locals would offer me lifts! I can imagine the weather is horrendous but the sea and the huge waves must be amazing. I work with a Doctor who regularly goes there to work and then comes back to the South of England. She absolutely loves it. You’re right - Ledaig - I have a beautiful rock, in front of me, on the kitchen window sill, that I picked up from the beach there, over 30 years ago. It’s a thing of beauty… Just on my 2nd week of AL. Went to Bristol for the day and walked around all the places that Dad and I visited on his last big trip out before he became too frail. I felt sad and happy at the same time x Work is hard, I just go day by day. It will get tougher with covid, flu and infection control procedures all at the same time. I’m trying not to think too far ahead. Recent Winters have been horrendous, no beds, no staff, drug shortages…hey ho. Hope you’re keeping well. Hope the sun is shining wherever you are xxx
1 Like
Hi bjane, Your messages always cheer me up! x Well, the shed is gone and we’ve been pruning some trees which now look awful, hacked to pieces but we’re definitely planning a pond. Your Malcolm sounds so fabulous. The way you describe him is hilarious. It’s so lovely x I hope we get lots of frogs but then I wonder if the cats will attack them? I remember getting up in the early hours for a shift and sitting at the table with my head in a bowl of cereal and suddenly becoming aware of this large rock sitting by the catflap. One of the cats had managed to get this huge grim-looking toad through the catflap into the kitchen. I had to get Pete out of bed to remove it. He was not impressed! Kate is loving the driving lessons, is very keen to talk about the speed she’s travelling at!!! Avoid Oxfordshire at all costs! Hope you and you family are keeping well and you’re not trapped under lockdown. Lots of Love xxxx Sorry, if it takes me ages to reply, having to fight to get on the computer!!!
Dear Meebee, What a horrible, stressful time - when you are going through so much already. Well done for being strong and standing up for yourself and what you know is right. Bullying is so hard to cope with when it feels relentless. Good for you, knowing that you are loyal, hardworking and honest and if you need to take some sick time, you take it and get a Doctor’s Sick Note - then you are protected. I hope the people who are upsetting you, back off, and give you some space. I will be thinking of you and write back when and if you can, that’s ok. Sending you a big hug for courage. Rachel xxxxxx
Hello Rachel, how are you coping? Was thinking of you the other day and hoping work’s not too terrible, it must be such a strain. You do such an amazing job, how lucky are we to have wonderful people like you , just giving so selflessly. The trouble is, nobody knows how or when this will end and Boris’s bungling has created such a mess ( or hot mess, as a friend calls it) leaving you with the fallout. Let’s hope something gets sorted before winter sets in.
On a lighter note, I laughed at the thought of the grim looking toad! They really are! Our last cat used to drag things through the cat flap too, including a rabbit and a magpie! Don’t think Marly will, he’s only tiny .I’m glad you’re going to have a pond, let’s hope the liner works better than ours! If we left the back door open those lovely tiny froglets used to hop into the kitchen and one day Webster wouldn’t drink his water and when we looked there was a tiny frog swimming around , not a care in the world! Cheeky little monkey! And once there was a baby newt in there!
I hope you’re finding some nice things to do when not working, think we all need to try and find a bit of”normal” or near normal if possible . Yesterday Jamie came on the train from London and met me in Leeds for lunch in Brasserie Blanc. A lovely little oasis in the day, it was so nice to see him even though it was so brief. On the way home I found myself thinking what a nice time it had been and how I would tell Malcolm when I got back, then I remembered. I wonder when these silly thoughts will stop, it’s so unsettling for a few seconds. It sounds like Kate’s enjoying her driving, definitely the best time to learn, when you’re fearless! I wish I’d had the sense to do it!
Take care and avoid the twelve year old !! Lots of love xxxxx
1 Like
dear all
Thank you for all your kind thoughts I am starting to dip my toes back into the site. My probs at work are just because of my brother and nephew. Am off sick just now. Ended up in hospital with my chronic illness which scares me at the best of times but was in a great deal of pain. Got another diagnosis and some meds but no pain killers. It wore off while i was waiting thankfully. It came back a couple of days later. Am currently off work sick but its not really helping the situation. Have applied for a couple of new jobs though. I have tried talking to a counsellor who couldn’t cope with my stuff lol. and a lawyer who couldn’t help and a few others. but currently to no avail. So am keeping my fingers crossed i get an interview. I feel I have missed so much of your thread though so i am going to try to catch up soon. But in the meantime i really do appreciate all of your kind thoughts and words. You truely don’t know how much they all mean to me. They have been so helpful. I really appreciate them. All of your kind messages have really made a difference to me.
I am thinking of all of you too.
Kind regards
Meebee
1 Like
Hello Meebee. Nice to see you ‘dipping your toes’ again. Please know we are here for you.
Take care. Stay safe.
Audrey,
Online Community Team.
1 Like
Hooray Meebee’s back. So glad you’re feeling up to posting again, we’ve missed you. It feels like we’re all friends on here,united by something horrible but all supporting each other. So sorry you’ve been so unwell, but if you’re off sick now maybe you can have yourself a little rest, physically and mentally . Time to restore yourself and come to terms with things. though you’ve got so much to cope with it must be really difficult for you. But life can sometimes feel like that, everything bleak and hopeless , nothing going right and then suddenly just one thing can seem to turn things around and problems can start to get solved, An interview could be that turning point for you, I do hope so. Thinking of you and sending love xxxxxx
1 Like