Hi Bjane,
I’ve just seen your message, having a stronger day today, got to make the most as it just hits us again out of the blue. Sorry you’re having a bad day, it’s awful, I just want to curl up and be alone when it hits, it hurts so much,
Hope you feel a bit stronger tomorrow .
Take care x
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Hello Steph , glad you’re having a better day today, so difficult when you don’t know when it’s going to hit isn’t it.Sometimes it feels a great achievement just getting through another day, but we do. Things will get better! Sending love. and hope x
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Hi Steph, Bit of a grim week, cried a lot. It’s the 3rd anniversary of my Mum’s death today - so lots of emotions and memories - on top of grieving for my Dad. Spent the afternoon relaxing with Timmy (my cat) sleeping beside me. I think pets know when we’re really suffering and stay close to comfort us. Buddy is a really fab cat. He would appear anywhere in the Care Home and all the people living there would brighten up and chat to him. He’s really very special and much loved! I hope you’re ok and you’ve had a good day. Rachel x
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Hi Rachel,
It must be so hard for you getting through today, and grieving for your dad, everyday is hard but the significant day’s emphasise it more.
I always think the weekends are the worst aswell, don’t know why as everyday is the same.
I’ve got my three cats with me wanting cuddles, they are a comfort. Not been too bad today, see what tomorrow brings, always feel like a zombie as not getting much sleep, I don’t think any of us does on here.
Hope you have a better day tomorrow.
Steph x
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Hi Rachel, sorry this has been such a horrible day for you, losing parents is heartbreaking and. I so feel for you. We never stop missing them but I can promise you the pain does lessen and one day you will be able to think of them and smile, not weep. The memories will start to feel happy. Glad your cat brings you comfort, I love cats. We lost ours a couple of years ago and we were just thinking of getting a rescue cat when lockdown happened and then Malcolm died. Am hoping to get one soonYou are lucky too Steph, with yours, they give us so much love.Hope you are okay and have a good day tomorrow’. x.
Hi bjane,
Hope you feeling ok, sundays are a hard day for most of us.
It’s good you’re thinking of getting a cat, seems like a few people on here have and it’s helping them so much, gives us something to focus on, also we can share photos of our pets . The thread. ‘Let’s hear it for our pets’ is lovely as we all share photos, they do make us smile.
Take care x
Hi Steph, how you doing this wet Sunday? Lovely to hear from you, thank you fpr being positive. Don’t know what’s got into me these last few days but wish it would go back where it came from! Yes pets are lovely, as you say, really miss our cat and look forward to getting another one. Thank you for that info, will look on that thread. Take care, sending hugs x
Hi Steph, I got through the day. I put flowers on Dad’s grave for him and for my Mum. Significant days are painful. How lovely to have 3 cats. We have 2 and you’re right, they are such a comfort x Poor sleep just makes you feel so much worse. I had terrible nightmares when Dad died that he was missing from the care home, searching for him. I find the evenings tough - as the sun sets, my sadness increases - and then everyone is fast asleep except me. I hope you’ve had some good days xxx
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Dear bjane, thank you, I got through…and it’s comforting to know that the pain lessens and happy memories surface. At the moment, I feel like the colour has gone out of my life… I love cats too. My cat Timmy is sitting next to me right now! I really hope you get a cat soon. That will be so lovely. Do let me know when it happens. Take care xx
Hello Rachel, hope you have been okay today… Really hard seeing the world getting itself a bit more normal when ours will
never be the same again. Losing parents is terrible, they have always been there and have known and loved us the longest. Do you have brothers or sisters to share your grief with? It does very slowly get easier and one day you will
be able to smile at a special memory but be gentle with yourself as it does take time. Share your love with your cats and look after yourself. Sending lovex
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Hi bjane, thank you for your lovely message x You hit the nail on the head about life never being the same again. My Dad was a massive part of my life, always looked after me. My Mum had severe mental health problems so he always protected me as a child and then I cared for him as he deteriorated with dementia. My anxiety is bad this week but trying to remain calm. I find it hard that I am expected to just get back to normal when my Dad died of covid in a pandemic and I work as a Nurse - so nurse people with covid - everything feels changed and unsettled. I have one older sister but she was an invisible carer and had no contact with my parents in the last 18 months of their lives so I had to manage it all. She wouldn’t be there as I sat with my dying parents as, apparently, it was “my choice” to be there - but I couldn’t let them die on their own. I don’t leave my patients to die on their own so I certainly wasn’t going to leave my parents. Luckily, I have a few excellent friends who are really supporting me x Thank you for your encouragement that the happy memories will come back, that makes me feel so much better x The cats are fab, a real comfort! I hope you’re ok and today is a good day. Lots of love x
Rachel, you can’t be expected to get back to normal just like that. Sounds like you’re a wonderful caring person and you’ve been through terrible traumas, I think you’re amazing to be able to function at all, anxiety is all part and parcel of what you’ve gone through, the more sensitive and caring you are the harder it all hits. Keep getting through each day, you are doing incredibly well. post here whenever it gets too much. Sending you lots of love xxxx
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bjane, thank you so much for your lovely message x I just expect myself to cope - so it’s a real shock to be so burnt out and bereaved. Thank you for encouraging me. It really means such a lot x Look after yourself too. Have a blessed day xxx
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Oh sweetheart, my heart goes out to you, you are doing great and deserve some happiness now. It will come, I’m sure of it. Don’t expect too much of yourself, be kind to yourself, as you are to everyone else. Sending love and a big virtual hug x
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Thank you, bjane x You are a massive support x How are you? How was your day? XXX
Today not too bad thank you, up one and down another , as you know. How are ou today? Are you coping okay, am thinking of you and sending love and hope xxx
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Hi bjane, trying to keep busy. Took flowers to my Dad’s grave today x Cruse counselling starts on Tues. Thinking of returning to Nursing in the next few weeks - it feels now or never… Enjoy the sunshine and the blue skies xxx
Help Rachel, hope putting flowers on your dad’s grave brought you some comfort. Glad you’re going to have counselling, that’s far too much to handle on your owns. . And they should be able to help you about when you feel ready to return. Don’t rush, you’ll know when the time is right.Thinking of you and sending love xxx
Was Hello Rachel! Phone has a mind of its own!x
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Hello bjane…and any help is fab! x Cruse counselling starts tomorrow + speaking to GP tomorrow too. Feeling more at peace today…how are you? How was your day? Big hug xxx