Lonliness

Hi all,since my husband passed away.jyst find the lonliness crazy,as of a night just on own and only having TV for company,how does others deal with it any ideas ,or is it just hav to get use to our new way of living ,so hard.

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i think we all handle it differently. I drink too much, have bad days and really bad days but occasionally have better days or not so bad days.The truth is we are all over the place and i am over 2 years down the road now but will never get over losing my beautiful Wife. Try to enjoy the good moments when they come if you can. Time does change things slightly (750 days today…but whose counting) but it is a lifestyle none of us chose or wanted. Would like to be more positive but that is how i find it. Take care and a big hug x

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Hi I also drink too much only because it helps me fall asleep :sleeping: and at least when I’m asleep I’m not feeling this terrible pain of grief it’s all so draining everyday seems like a battle just wish the day away so I can go to sleep for some inner peace

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Hi sorry for your loss,I lost my lovely wife of 40 years over 2 years ago and there are bad days and not so bad days,I don’t think there is any easy answer,evening’s are the worse good job we have the TV for company.
I just try to take each day as it comes but it is hard none of us wanted to be members of this community thankfully we all understand how we feel for each other.there are lots of help lines out there and can help talking to others how you feel
Take care stay strong look after yourself X

Thank you all for your honesty and replying back.:two_hearts:

The tv goes on around 5 of an evening. I’m not interested in what’s on but it’s back ground noise. My ninety year old dad face times me each night. It’s lovely of him but sometimes I have very little to say …… so I have to pretend!! Exhausting!!
As time goes on I find I’m not going to bed so early as I don’t sleep very well, so I don’t look forward to going to bed …… but then I don’t look forward to anything really

Dee xxx

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Hi just wanted to share this with you all as we are all suffering such deep grief , when I’m having a really bad day I try to turn it around by telling myself how lucky I was to have loved and been loved sooooo very much by my amazing husband we met at school started dating at 15 married at 21 was married 40 wonderful fun happy years I feel completely blessed for that yes I wanted more years Paul was only 60 but how lucky was we to have had all those years some people never never find that love in there lifetime , sometimes I think I wish he hadn’t loved me so much or I him as this grief would not be so terribly painful but no we were blessed to have had each other and would not have changed a single thing, miss him so much x

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Thank you ,for sharing yes it is so easy to look at just the loss as the pain hurts so much,I do try like u said to look at how lucky we were to have met such amazing people as others not as lucky.
Love and hugs to all1💕

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The loniness is the worst,sitting all alone watching tv ,cannot be bothered to cook or eat,sleep is a luxury,this new way of living is not what I want,I am 76 and she was always with me now gone ,I just do not know what to do anymore,my life in ruins,shattered,devastated.Michael

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Micheal,
Yes it is so hard,our loved ones would want us to look after ourselves,we have to cook for ourselves ,try to sleep ,none of us wanted this new way of living,have to adapt best we can,as what they would want for us.
Is their anyone e you can talk to as I found that is helping me,walking to getting out of house for awhile.
My beloved be always with me in.my heart till its my time to see him again until then I will put one step in front of the other and carry on best I can.sending you love and hugs take care of yourself,:two_hearts:

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I have people I can talk to but I don’t want to talk , like you say I just put one foot in front of other and carry on just look forward to going to bed to shut my eyes and sleep to be free of this grief and hate it when I wake up in morning because nothing has changed grief still as bad don’t like saying it but look forward to the day when I don’t wake up sorry for saying that but it’s how I feel x

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Yes it’s understandable to feel like this ,I did alot at the beginning ,I know my beloved wouldn’t want thst for me,as we still hav life while theirs were cut short,we hav to carry on for their sake and ours ,it’s hard we can do it .

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Yes we can do it , we must for there memory xx

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Hi Dee64, Like you I am struggling, lost my wife in February, I have the tv’s on in the house just for some noise, I have a sister who I communicate with every couple of days, I find the solitude and the loneliness so depressing, I am working but other than that I don’t have any thing else going on so I don’t have much to talk about, Bedtime is something I just hate, I find myself staying up later and later and when I wake up my first thought is “oh no another day”

Tony

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Hi Tony,

So sorry to hear of your loss. Every day feels such hard work. I don’t seem to be able to embrace life even when I’m told by others that Martin wouldn’t want me to be feeling like this.
I tend to wake up everyday to See where the day takes me.

I would never have realised how grief can effect every part of you. I feel that my heart is physically hurting and my mind …… boy I wish I could just switch that off for a while.

I’m not sure if it helps to have children and grandchildren to concentrate on or if it makes things harder. I don’t have children of my own, I have a step son, 32 years old.
Martin was my life, I felt I didn’t need much else in my life…… the void he has left is immense.

Take care
Dee
Xx

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Hi Dee
I found it extremely hard to see my grandchildren, it took weeks before I could visit, I felt so guilty every time, My children have their lives and tend to be busy so I done get to see them that often. Like you Kath was my life, we did not have hobbies we just loved doing stuff together, travel was our main pleasure. now I’m just lonely every day , I keep the house clean and tidy but that does not take a lot while living on my own, I have always done washing and ironing but again not much with just one person so I find myself in limbo a lot, You also take care xx

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Me exactly ,oh another day to get through,another day feeling sick inside,another day trying to eat something and then going to bed to try to sleep.Being alone is a nightmare,after having a loving wife beside you every night and then nothing.Empty ,no wish to go on.Michael.

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I found a sound track on UTUBE a while back “all by myself 7minute version” by Eric Carmen this explains how I feel every day!!!

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Yes me too now ,so lonely without her here,lonely cold and dark house,no wife to cuddle and cherish anymore,utterly devastated every day.She was my reason for living so now what?So here we are waking up to try and get through another day by ourselves.Losing so much weight,cannot eat properly,only sleeping a few hours even with the help of pills from the Doctor.What does life hold for us now,I am 76 and I am scared of the future on my own.Michael

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Michael,

When the time is right , is there a group you can join with like minded people.
I think when I am ready I will look to do this. I think we need to be company of those who really understand

Dee xx

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