Lonliness

Losing a partner
21

So sorry fir your loss. I know how you feel. I lost my husband 7 weeks ago after being together for over 40 years. The grief and lonliness is never ending, I am 77 and apart from walking my dog I never go out. Tv is my only companion. All my friends and family live away. Take care of yourselves, and hopefully this pain and grief will get better. X

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22

I echo every one of your posting. I lost my wife of 25 years in March. She was just 50. She’s my childhood sweat heart we dated at 17. Been together for 32 years. I’ve never dated another girl in my life. Throughout the years we become best friends. We have never ending conversations even after all these years when we face all the ups and downs together. We planned to retire in Taiwan in 2022. Right before she passed we went there to look for new homes. Now everything is shattered. Never imagined my life would take a sharp turn like this.
Now Everyday is long and I struggle to fill them with distractions of all kind: long walks, taking photographs in the street etc but it seems the emptiness swallow everything with enormous appetite no activities can sweep away the loneliness. Sleep is patchy most of the time I am always hoping that some day I won’t wake up don’t have to face all these anymore. When I open my eyes, usually in the small hours of the morning, just think to myself oh another damn new day. Like you I try one step at a time but just don’t know what’s the point of this existence. I used to have a life. I was once the luckiest man on earth. The great love we had becomes a curse with this never-ending suffering.

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23

That is the thing not to wake up and end this living nightmare.Michael

24

Absolutely my dear friend.I might try to find a group to share my grief.Michael.

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25

I just fell asleep on the sofa watching TV after Steve died. Then ten weeks later my dad who is 88 went into hospital and has never been the same since. I have been caring for him for a year now and trying to get back into running my shop. It is hard when there seems no point to life. The days when I close the shop up alone are the hardest as Steve would come and meet me and we would walk home together, or he would be at home cooking my dinner.

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26

Since my wife of 38 years passed away on 01/02/21 life is just so uneventful, lonely and isolated, the TV is pretty much all that sustains me although that has become a problem in itself, I have NETFLIX and Amazon but they just cant replace the sound and company of my wife, its been 7 months and my feelings have not changed, I went out last Friday for a drink with an old friend for the first time since Feb 2020 “we had to isolate” , going out was ok, coming home was so painful, returning to an empty house and no one to share it with, I’m tired of waking up alone and deeply sad every day, I’m tired of the isolation, the pain is relentless.

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27

Hi

I just hate being in on my own with my thoughts so I just get out and visit anyone who has said call anytime whether they mean it or not I do it cos I have to for me to get through each night then I get home and go straight to bed with the TV on I hate sitting downstairs on my own x we just all do it in our own way but it is a painfully hard and lonely journey :heart::heart::heart: take care of yourself

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28

I do the same cannot wait for the evening to come ,after trying to eat I close up the house go to bed in the warm with the tv on ,it works for me to do that at the momeny,cannot see the point in sitting in the lounge on your now without the one you adored beside you.Michael.

29

I know the evenings are so lonely I can’t concentrate on any programs now my mind just drifts of but can’t bear to sit in silence so yes I do the same especially now it’s getting dark so early in bed by 8 what live is this not one I ever thought I would have been thrown into we had so many plans so much to look forward too now what nothing but loneliness and :sob:

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30

So true oceanvillage,dark evenings make them even longer .

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31

Yes I watch tv in bed from early evening and cannot follow what is going on as like you your mind drifts off to thinking about what has happened to you,I close up the house pull the curtains go to bed and feel quite safe in my bedroom.I have turned into a hermit.Michael.

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32

Hi how are you doing today silly question I know your answer just was thinking about you I met a lady at the cemetery today as I was sobbing at my husbands grave she had lost her husband 5 years ago and she promised me it will get better as we learn to live with it so maybe there is a glimmer of hope for us all x

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33

Hi good morning,up early again after only a few hours sleep.How am I yes good question,not good,still trying to accept that my wife has gone for good and that I will never see her again or hold her again in my arms.Usually end up sobbing and crying most days as soon as I think about her which is most of the time,how can you not.Glimmer of hope now that would be nice.Michael.

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34

Hi there I had a real bad night last night hopefully a better night tonight I am so tired :zzz: would just love to sleep right through night been having terrible nightmares something I have never ever suffered before this grief we must try to hold out for that glimmer of hope hold in there

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35

Hi yes night times are really bad,too much time to think,the pill I take gives me about 5 hours then wide awake until dawn.Those lasting images of our loved ones passing are giving us all nightmares.This grief is like eating us all away,being left on your own is si scary,I am 76 so what does life hold for me now that my beloved has gone.I was not ready to let her go .Michael.

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36

Hi Dee64, I have cruse counselling every week, I am in the south and they have a “next step” group, they meet locally for a coffee or a meal, all the people are in the same boat as us , I’m told its not all about the grief, its a very positive experience, you can talk about anything some of the people further on than me and some not so, I have not attended one yet , I do receive messages informing me of what’s going on and where. I do know a couple of people who have and found it really good, I don’t know if they do this where you are but its worth a look Take Care x

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37

Hi I go to a bearevement group now and again and it helps to be with like minded people,they know what you are going through.The pain and heartache,the loss of a loved one is horrendous.I do not think we ever get over it but then living with it day after day is so draining,I hate this new life of loneliness and the empty house is no longer a home without the lovely Judith. Much love to you all. Michael x

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38

Hi mikeyboy how are you I havn’t seen you put anything on here lately am worried about you as I know how hard it was for you hope you are OK it’s such a difficult time of the year every day is difficult I know but Christmas it seems to be worse take care

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39

I feel the same each morning - what is the point of getting through another day? I keep plodding on but for what? My whole future was meant to be with him.

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40

My sentiment exactly,what is the point if we are so lonely and unhappy.Another day,very cold ,staying in all day so that I can go to my step daughter for Xmas.Watching tv all day again,all alone ,missing mu dear Judith more and more everyday. Michael x