loosing a beloved husband

it is now 6months and4 days since I lost my beloved husband of 49 years. I keep praying that I can join him but not so. My life is over without him I cant stop crying


I’m so sorry for your loss. You must feel desperate. I felt like that at the beginning but now after 11 months the pain has eased. I am retired so don’t have work as a distraction but I’ve joined in some u3a stuff and forced myself to mix in even though sometimes I don’t feel at all like it. Keep posting here and seek some professional help if you can.
A the best Tricia


5 months now since I lost my husband the love of my life of 32 whole years
Life is so empty and pointless now but I need to go on and try and make him proud of me and our children and 2 granddaughter’s
Like yourself I can’t stop crying I miss him so so much its heartbreaking :broken_heart:

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Thank you I am retired barrister my hubby was my soul and life. I was doing ProBono work but now feel hopeless without him

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I am sure you will find your way through this mine field called bereavment. You have your work which will anchor you eventually. Give yourself time to grieve and be sad and cry.
Keep posting it helps.
Tricia x

Its only 8 weeks since i lost my husband of 51 years. I REALLY want to join him but dont know how. I know everyone says it gets easier, but its getting worse for me, if anything. My friend has taken my little gog for a while as i know im not any company for her and dont want to walk her. That was my husbands job. How do you cope? How do you go on?


Hi @Barbara68

I’m so sorry to hear that you lost your husband of 51 years only eight weeks ago. It sounds as though things are very tough and you are feeling really overwhelmed. Eight weeks is no time at all when you’d been together for so many years, so it’s understandable that things aren’t starting to feel easier yet.

It sounds like you’re looking for support and I’m glad that you’ve been able to talk about how you’re feeling here. There is lots of other support out there, and I would really encourage you to reach out and speak to someone about how you are feeling.

    • Samaritans are available 24/7 to talk about anything that you are worried about in confidence. You can call them on 116 123.
    • Shout are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text SHOUT to 85258 and talk to them about anything.
    • If you are at risk of harming yourself, please call 999 or contact your GP for an emergency appointment immediately.

Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: www.sueryder.org/counselling.

You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.

You deserve care and support so please, Barbara68, get in touch with one of these services.

Take care,


Barbara,I also lost my husband of 51yrs 4weeks ago,he to had a very sudden oesophagus rupture a rare condition,had a 10hr operation,on life support for 4weeks it was a roller coaster of emotions,eventually told they had tried everything they could and the end was near,all family there at the end.We went through hell didn’t know grief could be so painful absolutely heartbroken miss him so much,all our plans gone x


Hi Jeremy so sorry to hear how your feeling, don’t beat yourself up so much it’s very early days, I was with my husband 47 years too and it happened a year ago, yes my heat is broken but looking back at when I was at 6 months i was terrible, no one gets it unless they have been through it. Please take a day at a time small steps and if you have a really bad day really have a good cry you feel terrible but it Releases some the stress for short while until another wave of grief sweeps over you. I wasn’t a believer in deep breathing but when I can’t sleep I take some really big breaths as we all do shallow breathing, after about 12 in and out its suddenly morning. Night times are the worst too, look after yourself, I’m I fine one to talk as I won’t cook now just for myself but I am trying Big hug Hilary

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its now 6months and 2 days. I was admitted to hospital yesterday high BP and heart probs I am in deep grieve COUNSELLING failed. He was my other half how can one live without being whole

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Sorry hear your in hospital please try and take it easy now it does get better with time but of course you need it now, I think you have a broken heart which is understandable but it will mend slowly.
I truly hope your getting the right help, I went for Cancelling, the group were great but the lady taking it just talked about herself which is not supposed to happen so great counselling for her. I too am going into hospital in Tuesday for a new hip and wished my husband was here to support me but my daughters will help me. Hope your out of hospital soon big hug Hilary

Thank you
Nothing helps. If Fact i have sent a message to Chesham woodland burial to enable me to reserve a plot then my dearest husband ashes can be with me. This is my most final wishes

Hi Barbara68
How are you? I am trying to keep busy and push myself out into the world even though I don’t feel like it. I am also retired we must keep going.
It’s getting a lot better for me. Married 24 years to first husband then 24 years to second husband. Loved them both very dearly.

I’ve had a really bad day can’t cope without my husband of 51yrs my heart is pounding lost him 4weeks ago miss him every minute,feel so lonely without him never been on my own, never get used to this,grief is so painful I can’t believe he’s not coming back,heartbroken

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It’s still very early in your grief journey. You are bound to feel terribly hurt at the moment. The level of hurt is in proportion to how much you loved him. One has to go through a black period of tears before you feel better. You will improve in a few months and begin to join in life again. I too have only lived on my own for a short time. I am determined to make a new life for myself.
Kind Regards and love

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Hi Hilary
Thank you for your kind words. With my dearest I could climb mountains. Now nothing

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Hi @Christine38,

I’m so sorry to hear you’re having a particularly bad day today without your Husband, it’s completely normal to feel like this after losing someone so important.

I’m glad that you’ve been able to share how you are feeling here, and I hope that you find the community a good source of support. Everyone here has experienced the loss of a loved one and will understand some of what you are going through.

You may not be aware that Sue Ryder also offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. If you feel some one-to-one support may be useful, you can find more information about the service here: [www.sueryder.org/counselling]

Take care of yourself and keep talking.


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Hi barbara sorry to hear you are in the same boat as me, but I have just reached my first year without my husband Paul of 47 years came as a complete shock and often think he is at work down the pub or Playing golf. We too had a little dog Lilly who we both love and I walk her every day which I don’t want to really when the weather is awful but feel so much better after the walk, also your little dog will be grieving for her/his master too. Time does help but it so early days for you at the moment so if you want to cry just let it go, one day at a time big hug Hilary

I am sorry to hear, your husband had same condition as mine. I am a nurse and had never heard of this condition. It is heartbreaking. I dont know about you but i am now alone with my little dog, who heself, is elderly at 13. She is the only thing stopping me from joining my husband.

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Barbara,I never knew grief could be so painful I never expected anything like this to happen thought we had years ahead,I do have 2 adult children who help me but the loss of Steve has broken my heart,I hate getting up in the morning can hardly eat,just want our life back,look after yourself x

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