Loosing my son

I just can’t cope we lost our soon 5 days ago
Very suddenly due to a bleed on the brain
He was fine at 2.15 on Saturday and by 5.15. He was gone
Just can’t come to terms with it

I am so sorry for your loss. I have recently lost my husband and felt the same as you. My husband died of a bleed on the brain too and it hurts me so much. His death was sudden as well but it was better that way than having a long drawn out time of suffering. That was something my husband dreaded. If he had lived but couldn’t do the things he wanted to do, that would have been so much worse for him.
It is a cliche but time really helps although you won’t believe that now. It doesn’t wipe out the loss but time will help you cope with it. The time needed varies from person to person.
My heart goes out to you. I am sending you virtual hugs.
Ann x

Dear Ian,
I’m so desperately sorry you lost your son - especially so quickly. I lost my younger son 20th October 2019. It was a tragic accident, he was 30.

It’s so hard but let the pain and tears come. In the early days that’s all I did. Try and get through each hour. I coped by telling myself it was just that day I wasn’t seeing Henry. I still don’t think about never seeing him again- it’s too painful :persevere:

I found meditating helped me, still does. I downloaded the Headspace app but I’m sure there are others out there. It’s difficult to sleep so I’d sit in the chair weeping at all times of the day. Then I’d doze a bit.

I’ve had support from friends and family and this site. We on here who’ve lost children understand the absolute agony you are experiencing. My heart breaks for you. :broken_heart:

Please keep posting on here.

Big hugs to you and your family
Purple

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Thanks. For your kind words, I know I have to be strong for the 3 kids he left behind… but it’s so so hard and dreading the funeral xx

Thanks Ann. At the moment I can’t see any light at the end of the tunnel xx

No, neither can I but I am trying to believe what people tell me. The alternative is too much to deal with.

Dear Ian,

Don’t think about being “strong” . Perhaps it’s strong to show your emotions, letting them out. Our grief reflects our love.

Henry’s son was 9 when his Dad died. He was amazing and has continued to be so. If anything he gave us the strength to get through. I can’t recall the whole of Henry’s funeral although of course it was desperately sad…but here I am…you will somehow get through it too.

Sharing feelings, thought and memories are so helpful and they connect us.

Know we are here for you and your family.

Purple

Hi ianmull

I’m so sorry to read about the recent and sudden loss of your son. My mum died suddenly 16 months ago of a sudden bleed on the brain and I still can’t believe it. I have found it so hard to accept this type of death and it’s not one that I had ever thought about. My mum was happy and funny and felt fine. We were laughing at 12.30 pm. By 3pm she was in a coma and had died within a few hours.
There were no warning signs and it’s such a shock. All I can advise you to do is take each hour as it comes and then each day as it comes. Dont expect too much of yourself and allow yourself to grieve. I dont think you will ever fully come to terms with what has happened. It’s such early days for you and you are in shock. Lean on family and friends for support and look after yourself.
Cheryl

Thanks I am trying just so hard, am just so sorry for my son he had everything to live for,life just seems so unfair,I have also lost my belief in god, but I do want to believe that he has gone somewhere else

Hi

It’s good to here that you can get on with your life and there is light at the end of the tunnel

It’s completely understandable that you should feel this way. Life isnt fair and it takes people who should still have years left of life.
Parents shouldn’t lose their children and you have the right to feel bitter, angry and cheated.
We just have to hope that there is a reason for the things that happen.

Hi

I want to believe that there was a reason why they took him
But at the moment I just feel so angry , I can’t sleep or eat I just have no energy to do anything

Ian

I still feel the pain Ian but I’ve found a way to cope. Everyone does… although there’s no magic formula…we all stumble along. Different mechanisms work for different people.
The shock to the system is immense…I couldn’t eat…or sleep…it’s gut wrenching…like a bomb going off. It literally is true that you take each hour at a time because it’s impossible to think about the future.
Yes I was angry too :rage: at the world for continuing as if nothing had happened. My lovely boy had gone and it all seemed such a waste. :cry: It’s so early for you in the depths of grief…be kind to yourself. I was angry too with God…I needed someone to blame and he fitted the bill. That anger has left me now and I pray my son is with him.

Love will get you through this Ian. I hope you have support from family and friends and people on this site.
Warm hugs
Purple

Hi
We are a very strong and close family, am sure we will get through it… just at the moment it doesn’t feel like it!!!
Thanks
Ian

Hi my friend, I am so sorry to hear that you have lost your son, I hear what you say regarding his funeral
We lost our 30year old son 4years ago now, we had almost a month to wait for his funeral. I entered into a sort of madness during that time, grief is such a powerful and painful emotion. We managed to take some comfort in arranging the funeral with the support of a celebrant. We thought long and hard about what Mark would have wanted and the music :notes:that was important to him. I really thought I would not be able to attend the ceremony, I was so broken with sorrow. However when the day came I seemed to be given strength and the courage to speak in front of everyone about our beloved son with so much pride and love. This memory has given me great comfort since then.
I pray that you are given the strength to live through the coming days and be comforted by the beautiful memories you have of being with your son
Peace and love to you all xxx

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I lost my 16yr old son a year ago from a sudden brain haemorrhage here one minute totally normal and unconscious the next.
To lose a child is unbelievable pain,you will get through by taking one minute at a time ,it doesn’t ever go away but you will come through it.
Here if you need to talk
Steph x

Thanks for your kind words it’s been 2 weeks now.but seems like yesterday

Ian

Thank for your kind words really means a lot

Ian x

How old was your precious son? Xx

38 with 4kids

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