Loosing my wife

Hi there i lost my wife on the 10th off may 2025 both of us went away for our wedding anniversary we allways went back to the place where we got married which was gretna green we both went and got married there in 2021 we had such a beautiful wedding and the weather so so nice this year we arrived in gretna green on the 10th a d we where going to stay untill the 12th on the Saturday the the 10th we went to all the wee places where we both liked took pictures we sat in the sun eating a ice lolly as it was so nice after that we went a wee walk to the grounds where we got married then we checked into the hotel this was our first time in this hotel it was on the grounds where we got married and thought that would be nice for us the hotel room was nice as well as the hotel my wife took pictures off the room we sat in the room for a bit before we thought we go for a late lunch my wife and i ordered the same meal as we have never tried this before be both really enjoyed this after that we went to the shop to see if we could get crips for our room for later that night but we never got nothing as i was bursting for the toilet a d we both we t back to the hotel we both dont drink and are on occasions we just have 1 or 2 drinks and thats us anyway we went to the hotel bar we both got a drink and sat chatting for a wee while my wife then said to ne that she dont feel to good and asked if i get her some water which i did i thought i try get her back to the room where she could have a lie down but when she stood up she said that something was not quite right a d sat down again i then managed ti get her up and we started walking back to the room.where she said i am just going into the toilet whi was in a hallway on the way back to the room i waited outside the toilet for quite a bit i then opened the door and shouted in if she was ok she responded back yes then 2 mins latter they was this woman that went in to the toilet and seen my wife not right she then come out and asked if i was her husband i said yes and went in this woman was a nurse but she had other ppl with her to that was medical help to we managed to get my wife up off the toilet seat she was just sitting on the seat leaning over to the cubicle wall my wife was then sick we got her out as her lips was going blue and slipping in and out of consciousness the medical team that was there was working on her till the paramedics come they done cpr on her for a long time she come back but her heart was not strong enough they then managed to get her out the toilets into a corridor where they continued to do cpr and give her things they then had to get her to the hospital they keept on working on her in the ambulance i was not allowed to go in the ambulance as they said it would be to much for me the police took me up to the hospital i remember i was took into this family room and when i seen the doc ome in i just broke down crying she passed away i we t in to see her i stayed cuddling her kissing her all the time my world has gone i am so alone broken numb i am constantly crying i went back to the hotel later that night never slept alone and could not believe what had happened the staff kept coming in to see if i was ok i was miles away from home i then got in contact with the hospital and asked to go see my wife in the mortuary before i had to travel home i just lay beside her kissing her holding her and cant believe this has happened i then had to make that long lonely drive back home it was horrible they was a pm done on my wife 1 week later and i was told that she passed away with a pulmonary embolism this happened so fast i was told that i had to go back down again and register her death again that was horrible to i then asked again to see my wife again i spent along time with her i wrote a wee card and i gave her 2 crochet love pink love hearts she would have liked them as she was allso doing crochet stuffed toys for our granddaughter we only have the 1 granddaughter who is 1 and a half

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I am really struggling with the loss off my wife she is only 50 and i am to she was taken away from.me far to young i have got her birthday coming up in 2 weeks aswell and it would be our 3rd year in this forever home that we built together i am alone in the home we once had together it is full of memories and dreams i haven’t even moved her last thing she put down before we went away her shoes are stillat the bottom of the stairs

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I am so so sorry for your loss.

My husband died on 4 June following a diagnosis of stage 4 bowel cancer at the end of April.

Like me, you are probably still in shock.

I had a very short time to prepare and I can’t imagine how difficult it is for you without that.

I keep having to tell myself to keep breathing. Because my husband wouldn’t want me to not be here anymore even though he isn’t.

She loved you and you loved her. That love never leaves.

Hold onto it.

Thinking of you.

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Thank you for your message i am so sorry to hear off your loss to it is very difficult ti try cope i cant stop crying even remember all our good memories it is nice but very sad to you will be the same do you have family and friends to support you

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I’m sorry for what you’ve been through. My partner died unexpectedly from heart failure in April. It was awful but nothing like your horrendous experience. You must be in total shock and disbelief. In these initial days I can only suggest that you look after yourself even though you probably don’t want to. Cry when you need to, if friends and family offer help, take it. When you’re ready try and get some bereavement counselling. You’ve experienced trauma and you’ll be all over the place. Reach out on here, it helps. Just reading the posts helped me. We’re all in the same boat and understand. Take care.

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Some what i have my brother an his wife also my stepdaughter and her fiancee aswell as 3 grand kids they are trying thier best but they don’t live next door . So they can’t be there 24/7. Strangely me and Julie have a house Rabbit called Alfie he makes me somewhat connected with Julie which i find to be some kind of comfort. Thanks for your responce

I am very lucky. I have a grown up son who is 23. My youngest is 16.

Eldest has been my absolute rock.

He’s been staying with me for a month now.

I know when he goes home on Monday, it’s really going to hit me.

Do you have people around?

I’m so sorry.

I can see you just answered that already.

My mistake.

House rabbits are very lovely :heart_eyes:

Love to you x

Thank you so much i just cant stop crying all the time i look at pictures and and cry we had so meny dreams and things we wanted to do and now my life is empty

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Thank you i dont have anyone i am.all.alone in our house all we really had was our 2 selfs

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It is just so gut wrenchingly awful, isn’t it?

There is no loneliness like it.

I’m fortunate in that - on the surface - I do have my own little network.

But there’s still an absolute void where my person should be.

I’m 53, so still working. Retirement feels a long way off!

Every day, I’m trying to think about what Dave would want for me.

I know - in my heart - he’d want me to keep going. Because, when you are truly loved, that’s the absolute, isn’t it?

You were truly loved. And you loved truly.

I keep breathing for him. Not for me.

I don’t think I will ever get rid of his things.

I see a shirt or his coat. I see him in his chair at our table.

I sit out in the morning with a coffee on our little patio set.

I see him everywhere.

I’m trying to embrace this.

I’m a sworn atheist. As was Dave.

But I have to believe that he’s still with me.

You’re not alone. Everyone on this forum is here for you.

It’s just so, so, so, so painful.

But keep breathing. Day by day. Please.

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Thank you i am just so lost without her feel like i cant carry on i know she loves me very much as with the way i really love my wife i am truly struggling and feel nobody is there i have took her side off the.bed now i have got back the jewellery from the funeral directors now that she was wearing that day i have sat it on her bedside table next to me with everything she had on that day i cuddle one off her tops everynight to feel comfort i will never get rid of anything my wife was my life and i am really struggling i hate the mornings as when i get up it starts all over again thus pain i love looking at our pictures and just hearing her voice on the ring camera or dash cam recording but it upsets me to i really miss her so much

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It’s so difficult.

But you’ve arranged all the things that are needed to be arranged and are honouring your beautiful wife’s legacy with all of your heart

I haven’t collected Dave’s ashes yet.

I wake up in a cold sweat thinking they might forget to give me his wedding ring back.

I’m going to wear it on a chain. A necklace that falls over my heart.

I need everything to be as it was too. I know he’s not coming back.

But I wasn’t ready for him to go and he wasn’t ready to leave.

But what’s wrong with that?

My life is like someone’s pressed pause on a VHS video player.

The next 59 episodes unplayed.

Ultimately, it’s your choice how you honour your wonderful wife.

She’s a huge part of you now (I keep telling myself this) and that never leaves.

She loved you. You’re doing great xxxx

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Thats nice you hold on to everything to and put his ring on your chain i just put my wifes wedding ring on my chain yesterday but what a nightmare i had trying to find the clip to close the chain my wife would normally do this for me as would i help her to i still have her cup next to the kettle as thats what we done so we could make the next cup of tea i have used her cup a few times and her shoes are still at the bottom of the stairs where she left them last house coat is still hanging next to mine on the back of the door i sit on her part of the sofa now i am holding on to everything i just cant let go i just want to be with her

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Dave drank loads of tea.

I drink coffee.

Each evening I put his cup next to the kettle.

I have cupboards aching with tea bags!

He liked proper builder’s tea. Where the spoon could stand up in the tannin.

Not ready to let that go.

If in 10 years I’m still making imaginary tea or sleeping with his clothes next to me, I don’t care.

He loved me. I loved him.

Keep her in your heart and your mind.

I have to think - every single second - about what Dave would have said to me.

Your wife loved you.

It’s a once in a lifetime thing that we find true love.

Even when we don’t have it long enough, it’s still real xxxx

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My wife and i could share the same teabag my wife took her tea weak it was like a dip off the teabag in and back out and 1 sugar black i remember whe. We first meet she would say i make my own tea as nobody can make it the way i can but i just made it for her i actually got it right first time and i remember her saying this to me your the only one that can make it right that felt good her saying this to me i am the same as you hold on to everything as long as you can i will hold on to my wifes stuff till the day i pass they is days i say i dont want to be hear and rather be with my wife we allways said we would grow old together i always made her happy and she would allways laugh at things i said or done

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I am.trying to get help but they keep saying it to early yes i really cant believe it happened to me i am all over the place and harder when i have nobody round to help i am in what we called our forever home it would be 3 years come this Tuesday and i have my wifes birthday next to this should be our happy time and now i wonder round a d round the house i am lost broken numb my world has gone and i am really struggling with this i just wish i was with her now

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That’s so lovely.

Do you keep making another cup from the one bag?

I’m really super militant atheist.

But I still think he’s with me

I always get up first in the mornings. Because my youngest was Yr11 this year. So getting him up and out and off to school is super important.

I still make Dave a cup of tea every day.

Even though GCSEs have finished now and he’s not here.

I can’t think of a time where I’ll stop doing that.

Outwardly, I probably appear quite capable.

Inside, I’m falling apart x

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The only comfort I have currently is that Dave loved me and he wouldn’t want me to give up.

Your beautiful wife loved you dearly.

Please keep going for her.

As I’ve said, I’m an atheist. But I swear Dave’s with me. Guiding me. Keeping me breathing.

She wants you to keep going.

It’s a vast, nonsensical empty place right now.

But Dave’s like an absolute geo pin in my heart and soul.

He was my absolute everything.

Now I have to make him proud of me.

Just keep on, my love.

Wear her love for you like a badge. She loves you and wants you to be okay xx

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I haven’t made a cup off tea for her since she passed but i do have her cup next to the kettle and when i make a cup off tea i pick up my wifes cup and bring it through with me i sit it on the table on the coaster that she would use and i would use the one next to hers i am really struggling with everything i wish i had something to try do she used to do the diamond painting art they is one on the dining table where she last had it it not finished off i was going to try do it for her she try to get me do it when she was alive but i am not into that infact the diamonds are so wee i be lucky to see it i used to laugh at her she had to wear glasses all the time like me but when she was reading or doing the diamond painting she would take her glasses off i really thought that was so funny i really miss all the funny things she would say or do she was so funny and did not realise it i wish like everyone else who has lost there loved ones turn back time she was taken away to young i honestly dont see any way past this if this is my life then its rubbish i just cant stop or turn my feelings off i would love to just sence her again i do still find her hair round the house i believe she is with me as i have found hair on my clothing that i have maybe just put on

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