Hi to everyone. I’m new to this site and i cant believe that i am in this position typing my inner thoughts to strangers, but I’ve reached a point where I’m struggling to cope with the loss of my wife who sadly passed away two months ago. She had struggled with breast cancer for the second time only this time it was terminal. I looked after her for five years and watched as she deteriorated over that time. I knew it would eventually come to an end but it was so hard watching my children suffer so badly it was heartbreaking. I say children they are 47,45 and 44 years old. We were married for fifty years and known each other for fiftyfour years. Its difficult to describe how i feel. Lonely, sad, difficulty getting motivated, isolation and not talking to anyone. As I’m retired every day seems to be like groundhog day. I go shopping and walk around like a zombie not talking to anyone. I just hope that things will get better going forward. I’m so sorry for writing such a depressing note on here because lots of you must be going through the same feelings.
Hiya Dilly I lost mybhusband Gra 9 weeks tomorrow. I am sorry you are also here. Its awful . All i do is take 1 hr 1 day at a time. There are no mircle cures no magic pills to end the horrendous pain, i know I have looked. All i can offer you is from reading others post it does eventually get easier to live with. Hugs Jo xx
Hi Dilly,
My wife of 55 yrs passed away in April after a long arduous 3 year battle with ovarian cancer so have an idea how you feel,I can’t offer you much succour just hour to hour day to day week to week,I know it’s not much help,just try and stay strong.
Best regards Ron.
Hello dilly70
Nice to meet you.
I am 75 and my wonderful husband Sam passed away 15 weeks ago today
It was not expected at all his general health was reasonable but he did have mobility issues which did not stop him doing most things.
He was poorly with a chest infection was admitted to hospital where I believed he would get better and come home to me.
It turned to pneumonia and got worse despite everything they did .
He died 11 days later.
I am stunned shocked and just find it so hard .
I understand how you are feeling and I am so so sorry for your loss.
My husband and I found each other a little later.
We were married forty years and together for 43.
Every single minute was worth waiting for.
I miss him so much I feel that my life as it is now not worth living.
To know I will never see him again is unbearable.
However as you will read on here every body is in the same horrible boat.
This is a place where you can absolutely tell
Strangers how you are feeling.
I believed I was the only one who felt how I did.
When I came on here I was taken aback really surprised at the bereaved people who were
talking about how they felt.
It is such a support
You have three sons for support and while I know they will be grieving and missing their
mam please lean on them.
Keep posting on here.
I am thinking of you and offer you my comfort.
Regards
Hi, thank you for your lovely message. I never thought it would be like this and never kned there would be so many sympathetic people around. I know i have to carry on but as you know at 5he moment its very difficult. Im hoping it will get a bit less difficult because everything i once had has now gone for ever. I Hope you are managing ok. My 5houghts are with you. Thanks again for your message.
Thank you Ron for your message. Its comforting to know that there are people in the same situation that offer help. Thanks again.
Hello dilly70, my beloved husband died on 6th July of a bowel blockage which he’d had twice before being a Crohn’s sufferer. This time it was fatal and coming to terms with it is so difficult. I was married for 53 years and together 55 all of which I was so lucky to have but if my life ended tomorrow I wouldn’t mind. I know this is a very selfish way of thinking as I have children and grandchildren all worried about me as well as grieving themselves. One of my granddaughters is only 5 and she phones me every evening before she goes to bed for a chat about her grandad who she loved so much. Today seems worse than yesterday but tomorrow might be better. I’m doing what most people say, which is take each day as it comes. I’m sending you a virtual hug and hopefully we can all get through this together.X
Hiya Dilly youcare very welcome, i am hoping the very same. Yes there are many lovely kind sympathetic people on here always here to offer a shoulder to cry on. Hugs Jo xxx
Awww what a sad story. I really feel for you. Its very difficult isn’t it when you’ve been with a partner for so long you dont know where to turn to. We as parents have a big weight on our shoulders because we are trying to put a brave face for our children and grandchildren who were so close to our partners meanwhile we are falling apart inside. I have three grown up children. Two boys and a girl 47,45 and 44years old. Its so hard at the moment as you well know because its still all raw to you but we have to try very hard to put our best foot forward. My wife told me before she passed away that we all have to carry on with our lives no matter what and so must you. Thank you again for taking the time to message me when you have your own grief. Lots of hugs to you.
As I saw this post I gasped and was taken back by how you resemble my beloved husband who passed away less than three months ago. He was 68 and had a heart attack at 64 that changed our lives forever. Watching his health struggles and his incredible strength wither away was one of the most painful parts of the journey. But losing him has left me wandering around our home, at times searching for his physical presence and not wanting to be around other people to the point of isolation.Grocery shopping is an imposition and I buy very little and nothing nourishing at all. We had no children and ours was a second marriage filled with time together, travel, restaurant outings, gardening and all things silly for 22 years. None of us here has any clear road map as to how to do this awful thing called grief a task we don’t want to overtake. But writing and sharing our mutual loss is a much welcome break to an otherwise empty existence. Just let it all out. No judgement here. Peace to you.
Hi Dilly. I lost my beloved husband 13 weeks ago tomorrow. We were together 57 years and so very happy just being together. I didn’t expect him to die I thought he would come home from hospital and we would carry on together. I have friends, I go out and do things but it seems so pointless mostly. The thought of not being with him is so terrifyingly sad. I want to feel content again. That feeling of peace when you are quietly with your loved one just being together.
Knowing there are others who feel the same is sadly comforting. Keep posting. We are all just struggling on.
Thank you for your message. Yes it is very difficult talking to people when you are out and about. Ive never felt so alone as i am at the moment. Its a struggle to get motivated but we must try to think about all the lovely time and lovely things we did together with our partners. Sending you a big hug.
And we will Dilly it will just take time and effort on our parts. Hugs Jo xx
Hello v
I have been reading your post and from your words I could have written it myself
Hello viajera
Been reading your post and from your words I could have written it myself.
I M so sorry for your loss I know how it feels.
I saw my husband so so strong lose his strength.
We were like you and your husband every thing and more to each other.we only needed and wanted each other.Outings lunches lovely food at home.Me baking him eating it all up.
Working in our lovely garden
I never believed it would all be taken away.
I can’t believe he has left me.
Now as you shopping is only a necessity a horrible chore. I hardly cook any more and is just ready meals.At the end of every week after eating mostly junk I end up throwing lots of food out items I couldn’t be bothered to make anything with.
I have no idea going forward how I am going to cope.
He left me fifteen weeks ago yesterday
I could actually scream but there is no one here
To listen
People say it’s early days and go one day at a time but I don’t really know what that means.
I wish you confort and I am thinking of you.
Hi Ron
Just thought I would check in on you today.
Another Sunday to get over.
I may have got a bit mixed up on this site did I read you have also lost your lovely dog.
I am probably still like you in this terrible
Place called grief which I call lost love so full of despair and hopelessness.
I don’t know what to do.
Are you managing to cook anything?
Thinking of you
Hi Dol,
Yes sadly my little girl was suffering with heart failure and I had to let her go.
It was really heartbreaking clearing out her stuff,a triple dose of tears and pain.
No not cooking just micro/airfryer food.
A religious person once said,God never sends you more pain than you can bear,
Well he/she is having a bloody good try in our cases.
I wish you a good a day as possible.
Love Ron.
I feel the same. My partner died 12 months ago to this day. He had a massive stroke right in front of me. We were together for 41 years and I am also retired. Unfortunately I do not have any family. His daughter occasionally phones me but lives too far away to visit. I do not have many friends either - I really only have one who is very busy but pops in about every 6 weeks. I find it a very lonely life and cannot get motivated to do anything. Like you I feel very isolated and do not talk to anyone on a regular basis - apart from someone who comes to help with the housework. I also walk around the shops like a zombie. I am trying to sign up to a local befriending service as I realise I do need to do something, may be you could do the same.
Hello Ron
So sorry you have lost your dog and she was your best pal.
I know how you feel as we lost two of our cocker spaniels and we took the vets advice to do that one last thing of love for our best and beautiful
companions.
I still do have a cocker spaniel called lavender
She is five.Honestly Ron I just don’t know what I would do without her.
She is my shadow and missing her dad.
I take her out every day otherwise that would be me stuck here.
However to lose her on top of losing your lovely
lady must be so so hard.
I am so sorry.
Sending comfort x
Yes it has been incredibly hard,Maisie followed me everywhere and I did everything for her,I did spoil them both rotten now both have gone it’s left a ginormous big hole of pain.
Thank you.