Hello flower garden
Reading your post I am so so sorry for your loss.
I know how you feel.
I have no children myself but my husband did.
They cut him out of lives over two and a half
Years ago over money .Our money.
It suited me as they were really toxic and cruel.
However I know my Sam was terribly hurt.I haven’t told them he is dead but I think they may have got wind as they have been ringing
Sending strangers to my door and contacting
Or trying to contact my family on face book.
I have refused to speak to them or even answer my door.
Well it’s all far too late now.Good let them deal with their own conscious now.
I have family my brother rings me every day
and calls in every week.
I have an amazing best friend who I speak to every night for hours on the phone.
I have known her for over forty years.
She was my bridesmaid.
I feel like you though still lonely and depressed
I wander around our home looking for him in vain.
I miss him so much.
I would like you to consider me your friend and contact me when you need to.
I know how much this can help.
Sending you much comfort.
Doreen x
As if I need more brain workouts I changed my cell and got logged out of the site. Of course I couldn’t remember my password as memory has been irregular since May…How incredible it is to identify ourselves in this journey and find others like you who have experienced a similar relationship. I pay no attention to people who tell me it’s early etc. Only grievers like us can have an inkling as to what one day at a time entails. But for everyone else it’s just platitudes. I decided to place an amazing book on the coffee table for others to see. It’s Feeling Left Behind, Permission to Grieve. I will continue to let others know how I feel and reject empty words for as long as I need to. My grief is a centerpiece of my current life and any friend or relative that feels uncomfortable is more than welcome to stay away .Continue to be true to yourself, express your grief and feel free to stop people on their tracks when they say cliches that have nothing to do with the reality of the loss. Warm hug to you♥️
Hi Viajera,
Your neck of the woods brings back so many happy memories for my wife and I,
I was seconded over there for three years,and spent many happy vacations there.
Hello my friend
I really appreciate your wise words.
People do ask me how I am and I say I am ok.
I am going from now on to own my own grief
and tell it how it is.
Horrible,lonely excruciating.
Let them deal with that.
Thank you xxx
@DILLY70
Hello Dilly & welcome to the forum.
I am so sorry for the loss of your Wife.
I lost my beautiful Wife of 31 years Anna at the start of November last year following a long and arduous battle with metastatic Cancer aged only 51.
I like you had to care for my Wife & although she didn’t appear to be getting any better i think my mind refused to accept that she would ever leave me so when it all eventually came to an end it completely devastated me. It was heartbreaking to see my Son ( 30 ) & Daughter ( 23 ) watch their beloved Mother suffer so much.
I like you suffer the loneliness, immense sadness & isolation that comes after such a traumatic loss, friends who were quite readily available beforehand have disappeared as a consequence so i spend the majority of my time alone, i do see my children & 2 gorgeous little Granddaughters on weekends when they are not working or doing stuff but apart from them i have nobody.
I severed all contact with my Wife’s family when she passed away following the appalling way in which they treated her in her final few months, i won’t go into detail on that but believe me when I say their behaviour was nothing short of disgraceful.
I Loved to cook for my Wife but since she’s gone i have no motivation to do anything like that & end up buying ready meals & stuff like that just to get by.
I really wish i could tell you how to navigate this awful time in your life but there is no set road map for grieving my friend, you will have some days worse than others when the grief is all consuming but then some days won’t be as bad, i can only give you the advice to take each day hour by hour & deal with the pain in your own way, be kind to yourself & accept the support of your loving children as i did from mine, they have been a tremendous help to me & continue to be going forward.
Clichés state that " time is a great healer " i don’t know if that is true as it hasn’t been for me as yet but i continue on taking each day as it comes hoping the pain will lessen as time passes.
Peace and Love to you my friend as your grief journey continues, i will keep you in my thoughts and prayers 
Thank you very much for your kind advice. Reading your story is like looking at my story. I too have the love and support of my children although older than yours but there’s still an emptiness inside. I too cook but find it hard to get motivated. Hopefully things will slowly improve. Thanks again for your advise and hopefully you will go forward and think of your happy times. Good luck.
Thank you. I do find it difficult to make new friends. I am going to try a befriending service. I do not like my own company and now I find that I am alone a lot which makes me depressed. I find joining a group on my own out of my comfort zone as my partner was the chatting one. I am trying to go out most days but due to illness this has not been easy and sometimes I just cannot face going out on my own. My partner and myself worked together from home so we had each others company day and night with very few friends. I find it very hard. Everyone says it gets easier but I am finding the opposite. It has now been a year and it is more difficult.
Lost my wife of 30+ years been together since she was 17.
She was only 56 what a sh1t life this is.
She left me very quickly C Arrest, so all I can say is no suffering and no chance to say a proper goodby
What a nightmare this is left with 3 Kids so not alone but feels like I am.
I always used think that if someone died in their sleep or of another type of sudden death, how great it would be for them, no suffering or dreaded anticipation of what was to come, but how hard for those left behind. I still think that, but I never, ever thought I would be the one left behind. I must have been living in Cloud Cuckoo Land.
I feel like I am in cloud cookoo land
Most of the time now
You are not alone. I have been here for twelve weeks, and I don’t love it. Xx
Just over 9 weeks for me, I never thought i would be either. How wrong was i. Hugs Jo xxx
Hi Steve so very sorry for the loss of your wife.
I understand .
I lost my wonderful husband Sam fourteen weeks ago and like you I feel my life has just up and gone.
He passed away in hospital he was in only eleven
Days.
I never for a minute then thought he was going
In to die.He had a chest infection which quickly turned to pneumonia.That was it!!!
We always told each other I love you and I got that chance the day he died.
Absolutely heart breaking.
I have no children but I do have a loving brother
and a really special friend.
Lots of people so kind and if my Sam could have seen the cards and flowers sent to me he would have been so proud and moved.
However as the weeks go on people do drift away.
of course I understand people have their own lives and families to get on with.
I hope you keep posting on here because I can tell you every one is with you.
I send you much comfort and I am thinking of you.
D
Hi Steve I’m sorry for you I really am and I never thought I’d be here either. My husband died last month and it wasn’t expected. I’m finding a lot of comfort on this forum because we can express our feelings and try to navigate this dreadful new life we all have to live. For me personally I’m taking things slowly and I’m listening to different podcasts on grief and meditation which seems to be calming my mind. I hope you are able to find what gets you through each day.X
I really find it difficult to understand, one minute I am reasonably ok, well at least not in tears anyway.
The next I an a blubbering reck with no control, with out even thinking of any thing.
Went back to work for two days this week the same happened there.
This is a complete nightmare, we are in with no control over it.
I only carry on for the kids, hopefully this time next year I may feel a bit beter
I am now on the waiting list for counselling with SR hopefully that may help, currently sitting and shaking like mad, evry single day gets worse for me at the moment.
There is no rhyme or reason to the way grief hits us. I was naive enough to think there would be a slow but steady return to some sort of normality but it’s certainly not true. This is a rollercoaster and our emotions are all over the place. I’m sending you a virtual hug X
Hello Frankie
I am the same as you .
I am now missing my husband for fifteen weeks.
I go over and over every day and what happened.
I find it hard to settle and out of the blue something triggers my emotions and I have no control.
I search for reasons .
This Is so cruel when we need our beloved ones the most especially as we are older and just find
Life more difficult anyway.
I am so glad though that my wonderful husband
Has not been left on his own to cope because he always said he could never manage without
Me.
I am truly heartbroken and I know true love
Will never die.
I wish you comfort and I am thinking of you.
It’s crazy no matter what I do it’s impossible to control my emotions they are all over the place from been relatively ok to screaming and shouting out “ where are you” I know she can not answer but I hope she is some where waiting for me. It’s the only thought that keeps me going I know one day we will be reunited ant together again, until that happens we will both just have to wait
The vanishing aspect of the loss is what affects me the most. It’s as if we want to make them appear in the same room, chair, bed they occupied next to us for so long. One day I scared myself because as I cried I started to slap my forehead with my hand. I thought I was losing control forever . But just know you are not alone as you grieve her and your emotions are real and valid. May we all help each other navigating this rough waters as we express ourselves in this safe site.