Lose of my mum

Coping with bereavement
1

Hi
Im new to this site.
I lost my mum back in February this year and im finding it really hard without.

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Hello @Emma50

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum and that you’re finding it really hard. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one - many have lost parents too - and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.

You might also want to look at the Losing a parent category, which might have some helpful threads and posts in it.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,

Lizzie

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Hi @Emma50,

Welcome to the community and well done for posting. :blue_heart:

So sorry for your loss and I totally understand how hard losing a parent is, having had both my Mum & Dad pass away since Feb 2022.

The best bits of advice I can give are it’s ok to feel sad, it’s ok to cry but try to keep the pendulum swinging and celebrate the good & positive things.
Fresh air and exercise are good!
It’s good to talk, if you haven’t already contact your GP (and also see if your
Surgery has a Social Practitioner (SP)) The SP (or GP) should be able to put you in touch with NHS Health and Wellbeing staff and also recommend local groups.

I find journaling my feelings, how I slept and finding one positive thing from the previous day very useful.
Some days that positive was got up, showered and went back to bed in the early days!!

Take care and please keep posting :blue_heart:

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Hi I am soo sorry for your loss. It is the hardest thing that’s ever happened to me and I have cared for people for many years. I had no idea what the pain would like and how life changing it would be.
My Mum died 4th August last year and she was at home for her last 2 weeks completely dependant on me. It replays in my head constantly as there were some terrible times but some lovely time we wouldn’t have had. I cared and helped my Mum for many years and the loss is just soo vast and painful. I can only hold on to each day and remeber the pain is only so awful because of the love she had for me and me her.
I am ashamed to say there were soo many times I wished to be free of her dependency on me but now she is gone I understand better her fear and her love and her amazing kindness. Just hold on to the love and the good memories. It does ease the pain, the loss and sadness just get to be a new way of being with out her :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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Hi i loss my mum in September 2023 i am still struggling to get over n through it i was my mum full-time carer i miss her everyday x

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Its horrible isnt it .Myself and my sister cared for mum also.Not a day goes by that i dont miss her x

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It is extraordinary how many people must be in such a lot of pain. It is soo helpful to be able to share with people here.
I am trying hard not to dwell on last year but wake and it’s like it replays in fast motion and in flash backs.
My Mum should have died in hospital but rallied so a new team taking over her care removed the end of life pathway and actively treated despite us all agreeing not to. It did give her 2 weeks but it was soo cruel, she couldn’t move, by the last week she couldn’t swallow and she just had to wait to slip away even though completely lucid. She even thought at one point it was a punishment!
She did die peacefully at home with her family and her beloved dog beside her but it was a hard thing to watch :broken_heart:

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It is horrible :cry: i have good days and bad days xx

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My had cancer undiagnosed as doctor wouldn’t see her .By the time they did it was to late .It had taken hold of her .I feel so guilty, She spent her last two days in a hospice. We were with her all the time but the night she passed away we had gone home .I feel guilty because i lefted her there on her own .I cant forgive myself for leaving her x

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Omg that sounds so horrible sorry to hear this sending hugs to u :heart: xx

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My mum was in hospital when she died i wasn’t there either i know what u mean i blame myself xx

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Thank you x

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I know i couldnt have stopped her going but she wouldn’t have been without family in her last moments x

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Same here my bad days seem to out do the good ones x

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Today is a really bad day for me .Im struggling so much .Just want my mum .I really need a mum cuddle and to hear her voice :cry:

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Emma,

So so sorry to hear you are having a bad day.
Remember it’s ok to feel sad and have a cry.
Here to chat if you need.

Take care
:blue_heart:

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Bless you, the feeling is so awful I know it well. We are sending you energy and love to carry on. It is soo hard but we are here with you. Do you have some clothing or a coat? I hug something of hers and that has her smell to help me. Her smell has faded now but I do still love pulling her cardigan round me, closest thing to a hug. Hope the day passes and tomorrow is not such a hard day :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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Thank you for your kind words ,means alot. I have a teddy bear my daughter had made out of mums clothes for me .It goes everywhere in the car with me .Smells of mum.

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Thank you x

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I hope today is an easier day for you? You made it through a difficult day your Mum would be very proud of you and I am sure is smiling and quietly walking with you. Today try and hug your bear and think of the happiest times you can remember :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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