Thoughts are with you
Hi Tracey, I understand exactly how you are feeling, I lost my husband April this year after 31 years of marriage. Will never get over it, I feel so lost and lonely. I work and hate to go home to empty flat when I put that key in the door I was cry. I have family but they have their own lives to lead and do not want to bother them to much. I feel this site has helped me a lot as I thought I was the only one feeling this say, but unfortunately there are many others. Some mornings I do not want to get out of bed and yesterday Sunday stayed in bed all day. There was nothing wrong with Dell my husband he went to bed as normal and never woke up I found him next day when I came home from work. People say to me it will get easier but I am feeling worse as the days go by. I am thinking of you. Take Care Ann xx
I am finally burying my beloved husbandās ashes tomorrow so I know it is going to be a bad day. My husband was suffering befor he died so I have asked that this poem be read : Donāt think of him as gone away, his journeyās just begun, life holds so many facets this earth is only one. Just think of him as resting from the sorrows and the tears in a place of warmth and comfort where there are no days and years .Think how he must be wishing that we could know today how nothing but our sadness can really pass away. And think of him as living in the hearts of those he touched, for nothing loved is ever lost and he was loved so much. I find this poem so comforting, and hope he is in a place of warmth and comfort.
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Hi Toria
That poem is so beautiful. Iāll be thinking of you tomorrow. You will find the strength to do it because of your love for your husband.
Sending you a big hug. Xx
Hello, Iām not sure what Iām doing but I feel like Iām going under.
I scream with the pain sometimes and cry every day.
My husband died unexpectedly 8/7/18, 2 days after our 33rd wedding anniversary and I donāt know how to process this despair and loneliness.
You are all seem so much braver
Bern
Bern, we are no braver. Believe me my husband died on 28th July and I am lost. I donāt just cry, sometimes I wail and sob. No one can ma,d this vile journey any easier for us, but we can care about and support each other on here. It actually helps in some strange way to know others feel the same and we can share any kind of feelings on here without having to try and explain. We KNOW in the way that those who have not experienced the loss of a partner can never know. Hug to you be as brave as you can . Luv Toria x
Thank you, I cry even just in response to your kindness.
This was not the plan for any of usā¦
xx
Hi Bernn
Toria is right. We arenāt brave. We are just putting one foot in front of the other and trying to make small steps. I lost my Carl on the 2nd July, unexpectedly too. Heart attack whilst in the gym and I was swimming in the pool. Both 58, been together since we were 17. No children, retired early, and were devoted to each other. I feel totally lost too. Some days I canāt see any future, i cry a lot. Bernn itās normal. Iāve said this before, but grief is love with nowhere to go. If we werenāt like this we would be even more concerned. Iām on a small dose of antidepressant. Never did I think I would be on them but theyāve helped. Iām also spending more time with good friends and my sister as our home is away from them. Iām moving back to the midlands as a temporary measure to try and regain some normality, rather than the isolation Iām feeling here. It is so hard as we have to live a new life we didnāt choose and donāt want, but just keep writing in. We are all in this together and we understand each other. Iām sending you a big virtual hug. Linda xxx
That phrase 1 foot in front of the other is one I use and is so apt.
I was able to sleep a little better last night just from reaching out a little so thank you and deep condolences to you all.
My husband Chris and I always loved that security and long memory mileage we had. I could always picture him 21 and he me at 20 when we met.
Iāve never been on my own before so itās all new.
Tori the following, by Socrates was some comfort when my mother diedā¦
The Soul takes flight
To the world that is invisible
But there arriving he/she is sure of bliss
And forever dwells in Paradise.
Sending support for what you have to do today
Bxxx
Hi toria have been thinking of u today . Hope it went as well as it could ā¦I scattered my husbandās flakes last week .( Thatās what my babies call them)ā¦ it was so hard they didnāt understandā¦my husbandās family has demanded they take half of his ashes away to do there own thing withā¦I hated the thought of them being split.but they are holding over me that they wonāt help pay for his funeralā¦the worst thing is they are still here in my home ā¦ Until they can be bothered to come ā¦ Your in my thoughts
Thankyou. I actually found it more upsetting than his funeral -perhaps because there were only a few of us, whereas there were 150 at the funeral .I do feel ad if I now have somewhere to visit, and our plot is next to my parents, which is comforting. Iām sorry you are having to hold on until his family collect them.Weddimgs and funerals can make families behave oddly. Did you scatter them somewhere significant to you and your husband? One of my friends has kept her husbandās ashes in the sitting room and has created a little shrine. I think we each have to do what suits us .Take care. Luv Toria
Hi toriaā¦wow your husband must have meant a lot to so many peopleā¦there was only about 20 of us at my husbandāsā¦we scattered his ashes in a place called The secret garden itās lovley little place in the centre thereās a huge tree with a bench that goes all the way around ā¦I scattered my mumās there two years agoā¦we lost her to cancerā¦she was very fond of my husbandā¦when she died he promised my mum that he would take care of meā¦that makes me so sad. So I thought at least now they can take care of each other ā¦heās family have been very unkindā¦they said that he was there son for 36 years and only part of my life for 8ā¦I donāt let them get to meā¦I asked for help when my husband was showing signs of depression and started bigger drinkingā¦they told me he was entitled and I was paranoid one week later he died ā¦so sorry Iām banging on about myself when u have had such a hard day ā¦xxx
Iām sorry his family are being unkind. It is hard enough losing someone you love without any extra hassle. Stay strong xx