Every word of that is so true. This years been the worst ever, you say to everyone ‘I’m fine’… but inside you’re just broken.
I don’t think anything can be worse than what I experienced, it was all so traumatic I’ll never get over it.
I had my 2nd birthday yesterday without Jimmy, but am so lucky to share it with my Dad too, who was 99!! How amazing is that and he’s still got all his marbles and still mobile!
But anyway, our lives go on and I’m still trying to work out what I’m meant to do. It all seems pointlessl atm… its all a bit rubbish! Glad we’re here for each other xxx
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Sable you’re words are so true yes on her we have each other and reading people’s stories helps us know we are not going through this alone take care 
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Hi everyone @AKM @Stuandali …i was just wondering how you’re all doing leading up to Xmas…i think it’s all our 2nd one?
I’ve put a few decs up, no tree, but trying to be a bit festive. I asked yesterday for my neighbour to pop round nxt week for nibbles and drinks. I’ve lovely neighbours both sides, so asked the busiest one first before asking the other… but she’s so much on she can’t make it, so haven’t bothered asking the other side 
. I’m at my parents for xmas with my sister and her husband. My dad’s 99 now! With all his marbles … and teeth 
, and mums 95 and losing it a bit. I’m so lucky to have them still, but it won’t be much fun and my sisters hubby will definitely miss chatting to Jimmy. I know I’m moaning, but i just haven’t anything to look forward to. I’m drinking too much, had a melt down today because some dick in a truck intimidated me when i had right of way and i just felt vulnerable and needed Jimmy to cuddle me 
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Its my 2nd Christmas without Rob, I have put a tree up this year as last year did nothing in the house.
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@Punto … that’s good… well done you ! 
Oh you have said everything i would have said about my beautiful husband i lost him suddenly in July and struggling just the same nothing i can say to make you feal any better thinking about you 
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9 going on 10 weeks for me. I will be at home for christmas, just me and the cat. I am ignoring it, and not bowing to pressure.
Will it be tough? Probably. But such is life at the moment. It will be ok one day.
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I’m still waiting for that day. I have ok… ish days though talk to him all the time. I think I’m losing the plot half the time 
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Hi everyone
Can anyone tell me why, after my husband died almost 6 months ago, do I feel ten time worse now. I’m in floods of tears every morning - can’t seem to stop them, I miss him so much.
I’ve put one or two bits and pieces up for Christmas that my husband bought for me last Christmas. No tree, no lights it all hurts too much.
I don’t know how you all feel, but I just can’t find any reason for doing anything. My husband and I shared everything and now he’s not here I just can’t see the point to anything. There are only two things I want for Christmas.
1 - I want my husband back (can’t have it)
2 - I want to be with him (I haven’t got any control over that)
I have never, in all my life, been so unhappy
Love and hugs to all. I sincerely hope you are all doing better than me.
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You’re going through what i think, everyone goes through. I lost jimmy the end of last October and i still have moments of uncontrollable crying. It doesn’t matter what anyone says, it doesn’t make it better, but we just, eventually grow stronger
I can’t see the point in anything either and just bumble along from day to day, it’s now avery lonely, meaningless life.
Iv promised myself that next year I’ll pull myself together and find a purpose again! 
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Both of you have summed up exactly how I feel, I lost my husband 14 months ago and though I am coping better on practical side on the emotional side I am in bits. I think of him constantly it’s never off my mind. Still crying every day xxx
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I feel the same this is my second Christmas and all I want is my husband back
Sending hugs
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Hi everyone this is my second Christmas without my husband last year couldn’t put up anything for Christmas but this year have managed to put the garlands on the fire place and a few bits plus a small Christmas tree in the conservatory also a lot of tears while I was doing it as much as I’ve tried I just can’t put the big tree up or lights outside like all of you it’s too painful December is a bad time and I’ve cried every day but I know I am getting there still have that dull ache in the stomach beg him to come back which I know is impossible, I know myself I’m in a slightly different place than I was last Christmas never thought I would ever get even this far only a few steps but it’s something take care all of you and thinking of you all at this time of the year x
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Hi Sable Dave passed away a month after Jimmy last year, so Christmas last year never arrived. This year every month leading to Christmas is like an awful nightmare and all I want to hide or disappear in a corner to stop everything.
Every Christmas song, every Christmas add or Christmas lights just too painful to face.
I’m living a pretend life for rest of the world, what they expect but actual life begin when I come home, home to my darling Dave, where echo of his sound and laughter all around me, where I can talk to him, share my day, my feelings, I know he is always around me and listening to me and would be hugging me just like he used to before, so this is my new norm and world, where I created my life with him spiritually.
I received Christmas cards from his friends so got some cards, I discuss with him and ask if he would like me to send any one else, I just talk to him all the time about everything, just helps me to feel closer to him.
I know all of you going through and feeling the same pain, this is the safe place we can all come and talk about our loved ones to keep their memories alive and just share your Christmas memories.
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@Sable hi Sable, I’ve not got my tree or decorations up yet. Hopefully tomorrow when my daughter is at home. I need a hand getting it all out of the loft.
Got one of my sons plus my daughter on Xmas day then my other son and his partner plus 4 grandkids on Boxing Day.
I barely see my neighbours at this time of year as I’m away to work at 5:30 and not home till 4:30 so it’s always dark.
I’ve done the over drinking phase thinking it was helping but it doesn’t. Hopefully you can get past that soon.
Keep thinking positive is all I can say. It’s a hard time of year, my Alison loved Christmas and all that goes with it and I just can’t be bothered if I’m being honest x
I put afew bits up and lights but no tree. There’s only me here now so what’s the point. No ones gng to see it! Iv lovely neighbours and thought I’d ask them round nxt week for drinks… but i asked the busiest first and she said she won’t have time as so much to do… so didn’t bother asking the other side!.. iv no Christmas partys to go to. I’ll see my close friend who’s married to Jimmy’s best friend on xmas eve and going out with them for NY. Though have said i might disappear before midnight!
So the big day will be spent cooking dinner for my very elderly parents…99 & 95!.. with my sister and her hubby. It won’t be a bundle of fun and with one empty seat. But, hey ho… thank goodness for prosecco! 
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I’m beginning to think I’m invisible.
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You are not invisible, I find that people dont know how to react to you when they haven’t gone through a loss like we have.
You are in the early stages of grief. Everything will feel raw. Keep talking on here.
I see you are also in Cheshire. I am as well whereabouts are you? If not that far I can meet you for a coffee.
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That’d be lovely if you could meet up.
I’m very close to Windsor… anyone in my area?? X
@Harriet4Bill We definitely aren’t invisible and please dont think we are. In my experience since losing my beloved Alison last November, people around us tend to forget our loss. Those close to us are always there and will remember but don’t be hurt that others don’t.
If you feel ready to meet up with others in this group that would be great. The support of others is always welcome.
Take care and reach out if you feel lost or lonely.