I am 46 years old and lost my partner 8 weeks ago, she was 62. I keep on being told you’re still young, you can meet someone else & make a life for yourself but they don’t seem to realise I don’t want to without her. We did everything together for 23 years (literally half of my life) & I know now I don’t want anyone else like that (in a relationship), because nobody could compare to her, she was the one, my everything ! I know others do want to & that is entirely up to them but I don’t, is anyone else around my age on here with the same beliefs?
Same here, I have no interest in meeting someone! My Martin was my one and only love, and I still consider myself married.
I had people make stupid statements at his funeral, telling me I was young, and in time will find someone else!
Some people can be really insensitive…
Sending love xx❤️
I lost my husband when i was 52, I’m now 56 & I still can’t see myself being with anyone else, I’m carving out a life for myself with family & friends & doing things solo, it can be done
I’m older than you at 61 but certainly don’t feel I will ever want anyone else in my life. xxx
I’m the same. Noone can or will replace my husband.
I am 45 lost my husband 2 months ago (he was 56)
The first thing many people said to me was, don’t be alone, you are young, go out - you’ll find someone.
No I won’t and to say that is disrespectful to my relationship and loss.
Its like some people think because you are ‘younger’ the loss won’t have such an impact and you can just pick yourself up and move on? (Like you’ve ruined your favourite coat, that’s ok - go get another one)
My husband was my world, my soul mate. We only had 14 years together - I’m grateful for those years, but so wish we had many more! Us to grow old together, that was always our plan/goal.
I am lost without him. And noone can replace him x
It doesn’t matter if you’ve been together 6 months or 60 years. The loss of a partner is truely devastating and these people who blithely tell you you’ll ‘find someone else’ have no idea and yes, it is disrespectful and thoughtless. My husband was one in a million and nobody will EVER take his place. Big cuddle to you all xx.
I love the coat example. That sums it up so well.
I am 52 and lost my love 3 months ago. Although we were together for a long time. We only got married 11weeks before he died suddenly and unexpectedly.
Our futures are ripped apart and we lose our identity and people think “oh it’s ok - you will find love again”……
There will never be anyone that can compare to him. We were like the same person. Best friends.
I have no children so it’s me and my dog and to say I am struggling is an understatement. Every day just sucks.
Same here thats what i tell people when they say move on you may even meet some else i so no Alans still my Husband and always will be i do not want to meet anyone
It’s true, doesn’t matter how long/short you had together - when you find your soul mate that is the most amazing time in your life. There is no replacing that.
I like you do not have children, ‘my children’ are our pet ducks.
To be honest, if I didn’t have them I probably would have done something stupid.
But I am completely lost. The person I could talk to, comfort me is no longer here.
There is no ‘replacing’ him … And I have no interest in wanting to.
It really is tough.
Not sure if anyone else does this … I write to my Baldy (that’s what I always called him - amount other names… If I called him by his name he would say he was in trouble)
Sometimes it helps writing it down. I have a note pad purely for this… Noone else is going to read it, but it helps a very tiny bit.
Not exactly the right terminology (as I wouldn’t wish what we are going through on anyone) but I am glad for this group… For people who do actually understand what we are all going through xx
I had a chelsea football casket made and i still put up Christmas cards and birthday cards for my Husband and always will as in my eyes his still my Husband
It doesn’t matter how old any of us are or how long we had with our partners… Others should not give ‘flippant’ advice (move on, you had a good life) … As said before… It would be better for someone to say they don’t know what to say to you.
My Baldy passed a week before my birthday, 3 weeks before his. I still bought him a card, still bought a Christmas card.
As you say (@sue11) … He is sill my husband.
Nothing and noone will change that.
I am and still will be wearing my wedding ring x
My Richard is still and always will be my husband. If I speak to anyone I describe myself as his wife not his widow.
I also bought him a Christmas card.
Just to add on about how poor friends can be:
When my husband passed away the radio was on in the background… I realised when he past the song from our wedding was playing! (I told friends/family this)
Baldy chose this song as one to be played at his funeral
At his wake one of the ‘friends’ asked which song was from our wedding (she was at the wedding… granted 12 years ago … and knew it was playing when he passed)
I told her the song: ‘Amazed’ by Lonestar …
Her: oh that, we were going to have that but thought it was a bit too cheesy!
Me: well I think the words fit perfectly for me & Baldy. Guess they didn’t for you and I walked off (not sure if I was wrong for that)
Absolutely, I will always say my husband… That’s who he will always be xx
What a lovely song and if people can’t see the expression of love in that without feeling it is ‘cheesy’ maybe they don’t love in the same way. Surely a wedding is exactly the time to express that love publicly.
Good for you. xxx
My Kevin and I met when we were in our mid 30’s. I had been married and divorced. It was like meeting the other half of me, we got married in 2004 and adopted our son in 2008. Kevin died in 2020 and I have no interest in anyone else. Can’t imagine I will ever want anyone else ever. I am 55. No one has ever said you will meet someone and I am grateful for that
Yes I think very much it depends on the love you had together & if that person was “THE ONE”, some people aren’t that lucky to have found them but for us who have it’s the hardest life we will have to live with, without them. We had our on bubble and did everything together & wouldn’t have changed that for anything no matter how hard it is for me now!! Love to all
Emz … I think you have actually hit the nail on why some people’s comments are off par - they haven’t met ‘The One’ yet…
I’m glad I DID meet and got the opportunity to love and spent time with my “One” xx
Not sure if ayon here are aware or if it’s something they are interested in … there is a group for Young Widows/widowers (Widowed below 50) … I haven’t fully joined it yet, but it’s in my bookmarks, there is a membership fee - can join at anytime (as long as widowed before ‘50’ … so for those of us maybe nearer that age but not ready to interact - can still join)
By all accounts very good, think.whem I’m ready I will join
I was also sent a link to creat a personal online tribute page for my hubby (free of charge) … others can add to it if you wish to share the page to them
Not sure if anyone else are aware of these? X
@Kel2 Yes I’d seen there site but was quite discussed how they charge you to join, how many support groups, website are there for elderly people all free of charge but when it comes to us, the younger generation they expect us to pay don’t think that’s fair. There’s nothing in my area what so ever for bereavement support unless it’s in the daytime or mornings, again aiming it at the retired or elderly!