My dad went into hospital after a fall he had hurt his arm, he went in on 20th April and never came out again. He developed sepsic shock, they had to intubate him as the sepsis was causing him to become aggressive which was not my sweet dad at all, he was pulling out all his cannulas so they had to put him to sleep on the Thursday and told us they would try and wake him the following day but when we arrived at the ICU on Friday 26th April they told us he hadn’t produced any urine overnight slowly one by one his organs were shutting down it was heartbreaking to know he would never wake up, as a family we decided to stop all interventions and let him go peacefully, my mum sat holding his hand and he gave a small squeeze and a wee tear ran from his eye as he peacefully slipped away, it was soo sudden and unexpected, we were all heartbroken especially my mum, the ICU were brilliant they gave us a small bottle with his last heartbeat in it. We expected her to fall to pieces but she didn’t react like we expected she was always a strong woman and she did cry for my dad and she spoke to him every day but she didn’t grieve properly but we thought she was still in shock. 9 and a half weeks later our beloved mum was admitted to hospital with what we thought was a UTI but it turned out to be severe sepsis and she peacefully slipped away as well on 2nd July, leaving us doubled with grief, she just couldn’t bear to live without my dad and I believe she died a little from a broken heart. How can you grieve 2 people at once, I find life is very cruel , I am an adult orphan and it breaks my heart that they aren’t here and struggle with my grief, my dad was only 73 my mum 72 so yes they had a good life and had 11 grandchildren and 14 great grandchildren but they were taken too soon. When we got the ashes I had my dad’s heartbeat tattooed with his ashes and in memory of my mum i got a butterfly with angel wings using her ashes, it gives me comfort that i have a piece of them with me always. I bought everyone in the family small urns and there’s half of mum and half of dad in them. My brother and sister in law took some ashes to Benidorm when they went on holiday as that was mum and dad’s favourite holiday spot and scattered some ashes there. My husband and I are going to America next year and I’ll be scattering some ashes there, a bit of the world they never got to see. I don’t think it matters what age you or your parents are when they die we all feel the same grief some more than others. I always had a great and loving relationship with my parents so i know they are at peace now they are back together again together forever. But where does that leave me Angry? Heartbroken? Bereft? Yes to all. I spend my days listening to their favourite music and funeral songs and look at photos and play videos i have of them while breaking my heart crying, my husband has been a great support to me but even he can’t heal the void my parents have left, how do I even begin to move on ? How can i live without them they taught me Everything in life except how to live witout them 
I’m so sorry to read your story of loss @Larkygirl - I genuinely can’t imagine how you are dealing day to day, you’re much stronger than you know. I’m sure that strength has come from the love you grew up surrounded by, provided by your dear Mum and Dad. You’ve had such a shock and it will take a while to process what’s happened - are you able to get some grief counselling? It might really help in trying to make sense of how you’re feeling and how you can move forward. Those last two words are horrible I know. None of us travelling this lonely road of grief want to move forward but to reverse up and go back in time. If only.
My Dad passed away in fairly similar circumstances to your own. He went into hospital with what we thought was a chest infection but it turned out he had pneumonia and a kidney infection. Within 12 hours of being admitted he developed severe delirium and became agressive. Again, like your Dad, totally out of character and he would have been mortified to have known all he did and said to us, and the nursing staff, but particularly his adored adult granddaughter who wouldn’t leave his side for 9 days…literally. After 11 days we were advised he wouldn’t get better and so we agreed to palliative care and he gently passed away with us by his side. I felt so cheated though that I never got to have a conversation again with him after I went home at 4am, on the night he was admitted A&E, hooked up to oxygen, but fully compos mentis and smiling and waving goodbye to me, to me coming back the next day and until he passed seeing him in total delirium. That has always made me so sad.
The initial shock of how sudden events happened was so hard for us to deal with but over the months the raw grief has lessened. I don’t think we ever “get over” the loss of our parents but somehow we learn to accept it and live with the loss. I’m so very sorry that your loss came so close together and you’re right, life really is cruel.
I hope you can draw strength from the loving memories you must have, especially during wobbly moments. I truly believe your Mum and Dad are at peace together and no longer in any sort of pain. They’d hate to think you were I’m sure. When you’re ready to, carry on creating beautiful family memories in their honour. Because of them, you have so many family around you.
Sending you 
@Jess2023 thank you, I am looking into counselling. I grew up with soo much love my parents taught me everything except how to live without them 
The delerium makes me sad too, I’m glad my dad wasn’t aware what was happening to him but I’m thankful that we got extra time with him veing in hospital as if he’d been at home I think he would have passed much quicker but thanks to the nursing staff and doctors he was on various antibiotics to fight the sepsis and I believe this gave us an extea few days with him. Be glad the last memory you have of him was a happy one if not a bittersweet one. The last night before my dad became delirious I washed his hair and brushed it for him, he always liked to be well presented. Sending you love and strength xx
You’re more than welcome @Larkygirl and I agree with you so much…nothing and no-one can prepare us to live without our parents. That’s lovely how you looked after your Dad’s appearance so well…what a beautiful act of love he would have felt
When my Dad was in palliative, we played him all his favourite music for hours, as by then he’d been moved from a ward to his own room. His face registered he recognised all the music and he was smiling and moving his head to it. Beautiful for him, bittersweet for us. We’re so fortunate we were with him and held his hand as he passed
Thank you. I bet listening to his favourite music brought him some comfort. The whole family were with my dad when he passed as well, we all got to tell him how much we loved him
Yes, I really think it did help my Dad @Larkygirl as everything was so calm and peaceful for him. Horrible for us but it wasn’t about us. It was about him feeling loved and not afraid and we truly don’t think he was. a couple of hours before he passed he opened his eyes and saw my adult daughter, his beloved granddaughter, holding his hand and he smiled and said “oh” in a delighted way and then her name. He closed his eyes and never opened them again. We were all so happy for him that the last person he ever saw and who’s name he ever spoke was undoubtedly the love of his life
I’m so pleased you were with your Dad too and he would certainly have felt he was surrounded by so much love. It truly is heart breaking but such a privilege to be with loved ones as they go on ahead of us
I feel soo down, tomorrow is my birthday the 1st one without my mum and dad and I’m dreading it. I just want to lay in bed all day and cry but I know I need to hold it together for my family
Werl today is my 1st birthday without my mum and dad. I honestly just want to get into bed and pull the covers over my head and shut out the world as i miss them both soo much but I’m a mum and a granny i need to plaster a smile on and pretend I’m okay till bedtime where i know for a fact I’m going to cry until there are no tears left or i fall asleep
I received an unexpected phone call yesterday from a consultant at the hospital in the ICU where my dad died to say they are investigating my dad’s death because it was sudden and unexpected. I was devastated, i had no idea this was coming, they said they will share all his medical information with us. I know nothing will bring him back but if they can learn what was or wasn’t done to help save my dad they just may be able to help save someone else. Feeling a bit meh today 