I recently lost my husband very suddenly and I can’t cope
I hope you will find some support from this community. We have all lost the love of our lives and have turned here to be in touch with others who understand the enormity of this loss. I certainly didn’t until it happened to me and I feel quite guilty for not helping others more who had lost their husbands.
Grief is an odd thing in that there are recognised parts to it but our paths are often different from each other’s. The best comment I received was that ‘whatever you are feeling now is exactly how you should be feeling.’
Sending you love and hugs. xxx
Im sitting here reading about others who have lost their partners and im sobbing my eyes out. I have 2 teenagers upstairs and i was so worried about them - but its myself i should be worried about. Its about 6 weeks since he went and ive hit the reality that hes not coming back and theres nothing i can do! Sorry im not being supportive - i just feel the same as you x
I think many of us find support simply in knowing we are not alone in this dreadful grief so I’m sure your post will help. Even if you feel you are asking for support rather than giving it that is also absolutely fine. We are all at different stages and can sometimes help and sometimes need the help.
We are here for you.
I am 8 1/2 months in to this journey of acceptance and life adapting. It’s hard but I am getting through it. I know my life will never be the same without my darling husband beside me but I intend it to be a life nonetheless. My Richard died suddenly aged 60 after playing his weekly football. He was slim and seemingly fit and well so it was a total shock.
Keep talking on here saying anything you feel you wish to. There are many who will help you. xxx
I feel so alone I can have a room full of friends and family and I still feel so lonely, I lost my husband on 3rd jan so it’s still very raw, we were soulmates and did everything together and then suddenly he was gone. I feel so so low and can’t ever see a future without him
It certainly is very recent for you and I’m sure you will still be in shock and disbelief. I remember I simply could not get my head around the fact that my husband was no longer here. How could that be possible? He was so alive, fit, strong and wonderful.
Try not to expect too much from yourself and accept any help from others that is offered. You will probably be exhausted from all the emotion - yet many people find they can’t sleep no matter how tired. I did, which is unusual since I haven’t been a good sleeper for years. We are all different.
Does it get any easier? I find I can’t sit downstairs in the evenings, I literally put my daughter to bed and just lie with her till morning, I can’t sleep, I also can’t stand the thought of leaving the house and if I manage too and then dread coming home
In my experience yes, it does get easier. Not every day but bit by bit you realise you did something ‘normal.’
I hardly left the house for weeks; only to do the formal things which had to be done. I have a life now - not the one I want but it is feeling more worthwhile in that I do things for other people. My husband is my inspiration and I am determined to make him proud - even if there are times I can imagine him saying ‘what the heck do you think you are doing?’
You sound like a real inspiration. I hope one day I can feel like this
It’s a gut wrenching feeling isn’t it. Why is life so cruel
@Caroline9 I really feel for you,I am 8 weeks & still in disbelief as it was so sudden. As most say it will be like an emotional rollercoaster & it is!! I too spent all my time with my partner doing everything together so it’s very hard knowing I’ll never see her again, we weren’t blessed with children & I’ve literally only got a handful of friends. It’s a matter of taking one day at a time & doing what you feel is right for you, in your own time. We will never get over it because we’ve lost our beloved one but I do believe it has to get easier in time.
Peace & love xx
Thank you karen for words of encouragement … I lost my beloved husband unexpectedly and suddenly 6 weeks ago… we had to wait an eternity for the PM results, then it was Christmas and new year… the funeral is Monday… I am dreading it … I don’t want to be in this position, we had so many dreams and plans for retirement…. I am struggling but your words help me to hold on to some hope xx
Sending you love and strength for the coming weeks. Hope the funeral proves to be the way you would prefer for him.
I’m so please if anything I have said can help in any way. PM any time as well if you would like to.
Hi Karen as fairly new to the site not sure how to PM … it would nice to do so… so will try to figure out how …
Thank you Karenf. My husband was 59 - he had a big year planned this year for his 60th. At first i read your post and thought 60 was old!! Then i realised im not that far behind either - you’re only as old as you feel. Its such a shock - i just feel so sorry for myself. I think i just hit a low this weekend. I have reminded my teenagers they should feel lucky im still functioning!
It’s amazing if you are functioning.
I know what you mean about age. Inside I don’t feel 61 and still feel like a young girl. Shame my body doesn’t agree!
I agree it is so positive you are functioning…I think it is ok to feel sorry for yourself in small bouts as have had no choice in what has happened. We do however have a choice as to how we navigate our way to a new pathway… I think we can either sink or swim… even swimming will be in very deep water but we need to somehow find the way to the surface…
Please be kind to yourself, this is the worst experience we will ever have … sending hugs
I’m so sorry to read of what’s happened to you @Caroline9 ; my wife died last April and like you I felt I couldn’t cope, indeed, there are days when I still feel that to be the case.
Seeking to understand what had happened to me I reached out to this group and others and quickly found that what I was going through was identical to the journey travelled by so many others. This discovery proved very cathartic, grief is pretty much universal, we all tick the same boxes, not all of the boxes and not all at the same time but we pretty much do.
It’s natural to feel the way you do and you will find your way through this, although, it might not feel like it at the moment. I often question whether I will, some days I feel more positive than others. Today has not been a good day for me, my late wife and I were childhood sweethearts and her death after 49 years of marriage has left a huge hole.
Just do what you feel comes naturally to you; take one day at a time but most of all, be kind to yourself.
Thinking of you.
Lying here awake again. Its 11 weeks since i lost my Husband very unexpectedly. He was 55.
Im ill with an ear infection and feel so low. Its horrible when you are ill alone. Ive barely seen anyone but the doctor in days.
Hi JaneD you are not on your own… I am lying here awake also… I am sorry you are feeling unwell with an ear infection… I hope you feel better soon…
Could you reach out to someone tomorrow to chat to or ask to pop by … if people are not aware they will assume you are ok and coping …it’s ok to say you are not ok …
Hoping you feel better soon hugs x