Hi …
I am new to this forum, and I have been reading many of the posts and found it has been so helpful for me to realise that others are feeling the same kind of feelings and emotions … I have been able to relate to so much that I have read.
Mum has been gone for six months and some days it still feels so raw like it was yesterday … some days I cannot hide how I feel no matter how hard I try … and the thought that I will never speak to her again is so painful it is almost physical.
I seem to go through waves of emotion and at times have felt such anger which has really taken me aback … people also expect you to go back to “normal” within a short space of time quoting cliches - however, I find that these people have not yet suffered such a loss so in fairness have no true understanding of how it feels.
Dad died a few years ago and I thought I was prepared for mum as she had been ill for a while although sadly she was still fairly young at 69 … we were constantly at her bedside in the weeks before she died … however, I just feel that I am a little stuck and constantly keep going over the “what if” scinarios which is not helping me to move forward …
I have tried writing down my thoughts in a journal, I even found myself sending her a text the other day … silly really but some days you just feel desperate to hang on to something …
Tomorrow is another day …