My Dad passed away 6 weeks ago today. He’s legally my uncle but has been and always will be my Dad/father figure/shoulder and best friend. I’m 52 , live with my wife and 2 boys 22 and 16 and as a family we’re completely devastated such was his sudden passing. I myself found him in his bed peacefully asleep and I’ll forever be haunted. 3 weeks prior we came back from a wonderful holiday in Florida and talked constantly about the next. I’m at a loss and totally heartbroken and struggling in truth.
My youngest was so very close with his grandad , Wednesday and Saturdays were their days. After school midweek treats and Saturdays spending all important times together have now been taken away. My mom is in a care home has been for 3 years now suffering from Dementia so visiting her whilst dealing with grief has become a massive strain. I hope the words are coming out right as I’m finding them a struggle to write. I find myself constantly looking at photos on my phone and playing his favourite songs. I know that’s probably normal but the pain is so gripping. Thank you x
Hello @Foreverawolf I lost my Dad coming up to 3 months ago , it’s devastated me . 6 weeks is so raw . My Dad had a brain bleed while on his bike and never recovered . I was with him when he passed .
Everything is still raw for me , I have just been speaking to a friend on here and we have both said that you will never get over it but somehow learn to carry the weight of this grief around with us and build our lives around it . Not sure how I will do that yet but it’s a hope .
It is normal to do the things you are doing. I have had photo books made and framed pictures around the house . I have also taken on his allotment with my mum . Not something I ever thought I’d be doing .
I also talk to his friends and my friends and my family about him
As much as possible abs surround myself with lovely memories. These are the coping strategies I have been doing - everyone is different . I am
Here anytime you want to talk x
@Foreverawolf my Dad was also my best friend so it’s like a 2 in 1 blow - I get it . It’s so awful .
Hi @Laura8 , I constantly tell people it’s the little things in life you’ll miss the most. My Dad had this habit of making me smile or laugh whilst doing something very unintentionally. Since his passing I’ve been to 3 football games without him (We’ve been season ticket holders at Wolverhampton Wanderers for 20 plus years now) and having to tell those around me that he’s sadly no longer with us brought me to tears. It’s those moments at occasions like that hurts the most. My son has already had a birthday without him , my wife’s is upcoming then there’s Christmas. Not sure how I’ll or we’ll cope I haven’t got the words. I’ve lost both my grandparents at a relative young age , and in a way with my mom suffering from the awful disease that is Dementia I’m slowly losing her , this is heartache like no other. Thank you for responding and I can only wish you every health and love x
Totally understand. It was mine and my sons birthday last week it was so so difficult. It really
Set me back and was a hard week to get through.
Well done on continuing to go to the matches that must have been so hard . He lives on through you now .
Me and my Dad used to take my son to rugby every Sunday and it’s been so hard going back but I have to for him …
cannot even think about Christmas yet and decorations are flipping everywhere …
take care x
I know how you feel. My dad died exactly 6 weeks ago yesterday. We knew it was coming but we just weren’t sure how quickly. I rushed to see him as quickly as I could but got to the home about 5 minutes after he’d died! I was devastated then and I still am today. I feel totally lost, and at times, all I can see is his face as I walked in so soon after he’d died. Even though we were expecting it, it still felt like a huge shock.
I hope you manage to get through this difficult time.
Hi @AlieC , the sudden nature of my dad passing away is what’s hit us the worse. That’s what I’m struggling with coming to terms with. I collected his ashes today so he’s at least home with his family for a while. I hope you can find some peace. Take care x
@Foreverawolf i am sorry for your loss. I lost my dad in March this year and really struggling. My daughter got married in August and that was such a rollercoaster of a day. He was missed so much. My daughter had an amazing relationship with her Granda - he would have been so proud of her. It’s these things we need to continue to do in their memory. My dad was my best friend and I turned to him for advice on everything. I still cry every day and when someone asks me how he is and I actually have to say the words out loud - I dissolve into tears. And as @Laura8 said - I can’t even think of Xmas. Hear anytime if you need a chat.
Thank you all , such a wonderful community. I’ve recently brought my dad’s ashes home for a short while , just having him in our home gives us all some small comfort. Take care x
I lost my dad too in January to dementia and miss him so much.
I try and find comfort in reminding myself that the pain is so much because I loved him so much.
I have reminders of him on my phone and in the house.
I use tapping when it gets too much and it helps me feel a bit calmer.
Hi @SassyD , my mom has Dementia and it truly is an awful disease. On top of my dad passing away and visiting my mom in her home you feel sometimes that the world is trying to swallow you up. I’m working hard on my mental health as I feel it all too consuming at the moment. I hope you have a strong family and set of friends that you can lean on. Grief is a feeling of loneliness , that’s why I came to this group. Take care x
Thank you so much to all of you for sharing so openly - it really moved me and it’s beautiful to see the support you’re getting by only reading your messages. I’m sending you all my healing energies. I’ve lost my father in January, after a year of ups and downs with his leukaemia. We tried everything and he tried everything to survive it. I’m in so much pain just thinking about how much he wanted to stay alive. I want him back and it is tearing me apart knowing that he’s not here anymore, I miss him so much. It’s been over 9 months and I’m still feeling very desperate. How do you cope with it and how do you connect to your lost one?
For me it’ll be 7 weeks and not a moments gone by where I haven’t wept or felt completely at a loss. As a father and a husband I’m trying to be strong for my son and wife whereas in reality there’re the ones holding me together. Take care , I hope time becomes a healer x
@Viola this is exactly how i feel. We are going through all these ‘firsts’ too and the reminders that pop up on my phone daily are lovely but now they make me so upset. I try to go about my day and then something happens, a smell, a sound, a place and it takes me straight back to that dreadful feeling of loss. Oh I miss him sooo much, it’s so difficult. Take care. It’s nice to be able to open up to people who truly know how I am feeling
@Foreverawolf how are you doing ?
Hi @Laura8 , at the moment having good and bad times. One day at a time I’ve been told. I’m mindful of the effects my emotions have on my family as they’re experiencing the same thing. Hope you’re well x
Reading these messages is just so helpful. I’m only a couple of days into my grief after losing my hero and best friend my Dad. He raised me from being 6 and we had the closest, daftest relationship full of laughter. I’m 37 now and I can’t believe the weight of the grief and the pain it’s creating. I feel like I’m losing my mind but everything I read tells me this is just the reality of losing someone so special.
I know the grief will forever change me but I’m trying so hard to think about what he would want and to continue the great energy he put into the world. His presence for everyone was so special and I want with all my heart to help the world keep feeling this.
The last few days have felt like I couldn’t get over the trauma of finding him and accepting this is real. I just keep thinking it will all be a dreadful dream. I’m now keep thinking about how the future will be and what I’ll miss. It’s like a huge heavy weight in my heart, the pain is overwhelming and I can’t imagine recovering and in some ways I don’t want to.
It just all feels so overwhelming and complicated and my heart goes out to anyone trying to make sense of it.
Reading the beautiful words you’ve all described your Dads with touches my heart, you can hear they were really special people and the love you had was beyond measure and something to treasure forever. I really wish you all some peace, comfort and for more moments where your positive memories takes over the sadness that is in your heart. Surely time will help us all and heal some of the scars so the waves feel more manageable. Sending everyone all the love in the world, you deserve it for what you’re having to experience and for sharing to help others too
Such a nice message. We were all truly lucky to have such amazing dads. Everywhere I look I can see him, so many beautiful memories and then the trauma of the last week of his life. Breaks my heart. I have definite up and down days as it has been 7 months. 7 months even writing it I cannot actually believe it!! I hate it. Me and my dad had an amazing bond and the loss of him tears me apart. They say this is the price you pay for loving someone - this pain. I love to come on here and few normal. It’s so nice to be able to speak with others going through the same painful feelings
Pretty much the same as you I think .
I’m here anytime you want a chat . It helps that people understand x