@Foreverawolf how are your family handling it at the moment ? X
2 Likes
Hi I am so sorry you are also on this painful path . I am here if you want to talk anytime xx
3 Likes
Thank you for lovely replies.
I wonder if people can share what gives them relief?
For me, so far, I’ve found I keep talking to my Dad and it’s so helpful. I tell him about the day and chat to him like I always would do. Even if I can’t physically hear his voice I know what he’d be saying and I really believe he’s around me in some shape. All the incredible and magical things in the world- it’s not asking too much that his presence is still here just in a different shape.
I’ve been writing down memories and things that are special. Even the little things- I want to capture it and keep reflecting on how he makes us feel. Even funny little possessions that feel sentimental. I like writing down why they feel special and the memories they stirs
I try to talk about him in the present tense too, life may feel different now but he will live on. His little dog is now with us- we’re a house of 3 crackers rescue dogs now so it’s a mad house- and chatting to her about him and looking after her is helping give purpose too.
I find writing here so helpful, it helps order my thoughts. And knowing others are experiencing the same is soothing- this is normal and there is hope. Thank you for creating a safe space to share and connect
4 Likes
It’s really lonely . You are doing your best and that is difficult while feeling so awful . I know that feeling well …
x
1 Like
My Dad died 6 weeks ago and I’m finding it such a rollercoaster.
A small help is that I have started writing to him, not every day but just when I really miss him. I don’t know why but somehow I feel less daft doing that than speaking out loud to him. I’ve also had lots of little random signs which I so want to believe is him still around, just in an other form…desperate for some comfort in that. I am still in the shock phase really, I’ll be doing something and then it hits me that my Dad isn’t here anymore! It’s surreal. xx
3 Likes
I’m finding it difficult to understand that life goes on , in the sense that my Dad who was in my life for 52 wonderful years is no longer with me. It’ll be 7 weeks tomorrow but feels wrong of me to be laughing at work at home or out in general. It’s the strangest of things learning to cope without a loved one. My heart and head are undecided as what to do , if that makes any sense. X
2 Likes
@Foreverawolf I know this feeling well. I find myself shopping in Zara browsing and I’m like - how can I do this? My dad died!! And I leave. it’s so weird. It truly is a rollercoaster and very lonely and at times exhausting, trying not to cry because you think people will worry about you. I have to admit I miss him every second of every day. Part of me has gone. He was such a sociable soul and he would not want me to be like this - so I will
Keep on trying very hard …for him 
3 Likes
I completely understand writing to him, it’s a lovely way to keep in contact. I totally agree about finding signs of him all around you. Just yesterday there was a butterfly next to my Dads bedroom window and a Robin on the fence and I’m so sure that’s him living on.
I found this beautiful post from a very helpful account about people’s energy living on, it talks about ways to let their energy live on by the choices you make that make them proud, being kind to strangers and doing the work you do in the world to continue what they started. Just think being kind to each other here is doing that so we’re continuing their good work.
I hope this link works: Anna Lyons End of Life Doula & Writer on Instagram: "#lifedeathwhatever & maybe by @revelatori #griefsupport #loveandloss #grief #maybe"
If the link doesn’t work it’s on life death what account on Instagram and it has some beautiful soothing words and a lot of funny and poignant posts for the angrier moments too.
Lots of love to you both, and thank you for sharing your thoughts it is incredibly helpful for me x x x
2 Likes
Thank you so much for that. I’ll take a look. I really do find comfort, in fact I’ve become a little obsessed 
, at looking for signs. Have you read the book called Signs by Laura Lynne Jackson. Someone recommended it to me and it really opened my eyes to that side of things x
4 Likes
@ErinM Good suggestions. I’ll try the talking one. Dad & me had the same sense of humour so if something funny happened during my day, I’d always share it. I miss that
4 Likes
It does make sense and I think it’s important to get some respite laughing etc as this grieving is exhausting … I know what you mean though as I feel the same .
Our Dads would want us to enjoy our lives again though x
2 Likes
Hi Foreverwolf sorry to hear of your lost, i lost my dad 2years this December, i was with him when he passed, to say i miss him is a understatement, i feel i will never get over losing him just learning to live with it, i can’t even understand how you are feeling finding him that way, I find been in contact with people going though the same helps and have found it helps been on sue ryder site,
3 Likes
I really agree talking to those who have experienced it helps. Even when other people are being kind I find it hard to talk to them if they haven’t had loss because they can’t understand what it feels like even though they mean well. I thought I knew how to empathise with people before but the weight and the pain you feel is not something you can comprehend. I’m so grateful to have found this place to talk with others. Sending you love also x x x
3 Likes
@ErinM I agree. Unless you’re walking this path, you can’t imagine the pain of it. Grief has a pain all of its own doesn’t it. I never knew I could miss someone this much & it’s not like they’re in another part of the Country or on holiday, they no longer exist & I struggle heavily with that. One of my closest friends lost her Dad in June, exactly 3 months after mine so at least we can understand what eachother is going thru.
3 Likes
I’m so sorry for your loss I hope the time is helping you remember your precious memories and give you moments of comfort. How lovely you have someone close to you with lived experience you can connect with. It’s in awful circumstances but I do think there’s something about the scars making us more empathetic people who can give to others more in the right moments.
I know we’re all so unique and need to come to terms in our own way that makes sense for us. It’s very early days for me, we’re only 4 days in so it’s incredibly raw and I’m sure my coping mechanisms will adapt as life settles but for now I just keep trying to think that he’s still here just in a different way. I know some people will think I’m mad but I just keep talking to him and about him explaining everything that’s going on and I know what he’d say back. I’m so sure he can hear me and I just want to keep telling him that he’s so wonderful and I’m so grateful for everything he did and blessed us with.
Sending you love x x x
2 Likes
Thank you all for your lovely and generous thoughtful replies. It’s 7 weeks today since he passed away and I’m has heartbroken now as I was then. Reading everyone’s messages of grief it truly is the hardest thing you’ll ever have to experience and one where emotions can spiral quite quickly. Your support is much appreciated and I hope I can continue to support you all too. Much love and take care d
3 Likes
I talk to my dad all of the time in my head, i know he hears me
2 Likes
I still talk to my dad all the time. I feel he is watching over me. I was his only daughter and we were soo close. Everything I do I feel it’s for him like it always was - I love reading everyone else’s feelings as I relate 100% with them. It helps it really does. Some days it hits me like a brick and I get that sinking feeling. The seasons changing is hard too as the time I was with him at the end seems further and further away. So sad isn’t it? We were all very lucky to have this bond with our dads.
4 Likes
@EllieJ I feel really lucky but it’s also the saddest most awful feeling . I can’t imagine feeling ok . Everyone says it’s just time I just can’t picture it . X
4 Likes