Hi
I lost my dad on 15th dec and im devastated i cant cope im not sleeping , feel like i have to be someone i don’t want to be. Im really struggling. I feel so numb cant think the tele is on but im not watching it. I cant imagine him not being here. this Christmas has been horrible im trying my hardest to keep it together for my son who was really close to my dad. (My son has additional needs) and its really testing me at the minute i know he’s struggling too.
My partner has been great but i just cant cope im not pushing him out on purpose im just so lost.
Im dreading going back to work weds - we are still waiting for PM, we are hoping to have his funeral on his birthday 20th Jan…
How do you cope i just want to scream at everyone.
I miss him so much 
Hello @Yummymummie,
I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.
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Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
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Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
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Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
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Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through .
I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Alex
Feels
Lost dad july and im not coping. Im in raw agony. Cant get over it.
Im alone except for my teens who have additional needs anyway.
Dreaded leaving 2022 cuz thats the last year we were both physically in together. I know first year is hardest.
Yoyr in shock phase probably atm. Its a whirlwind of ekotions but ypu will come out the other side, just not yet it is a journey. You have a right to feel how u feel.
So sorry for your loss. Its hard i lost my dad on 15th and its been so hard. My son has special needs too so totally understand how your feeling. Always here for a chat. Xx
Hi, I lost my Dad on 4/12/2022 and it is so hard. I’m so sorry for your loss. I still can’t believe it, even after the funeral everything goes in a blur so quickly. I saw my dad for three weeks in the chapel of rest which helped a little but now that is gone. Everyone feels different, deals with things in a different way there is no right or wrong. I’m taking 1 day at a time, some days are so bad. Please keep talking and don’t put pressure on yourself. Xx
Thankyou for replying.
Sorry about your dad. It is hard very hard. Mixture of feelings, I got to see mine before they took him the morning he died.
weve still got at least 1- 2weeks more before Pm back so not seen him for 2weeks now.
I broke down this afternoon taking the xmas tree down. Only kept it up for my son. X
Thank you. He died of cancer he fought until the end and I shared the last minutes with him, Oh no, I know how hard it is - didn’t feel like Christmas at all just going through the motions. That’s a long wait I’m really sorry, please stay strong, think about what your dad would want. I light a candle everyday and think about him all the time. X
Hi,just wanted to say im so sorry for your loss. I was exactly where you are this time last year. I lost my amazing dad on the 26th of December 21. I still walk around in a daze most day’s unable to believe that he’s gone,even after a year. The first year is the toughest,it took all i had to get through 2022. Sending lots of love at this terrible time x
Thank you it really helps me when people understand what I’m going through. I’m sorry for your loss too. So difficult knowing that life will never be the same again. X
I lost my dad on the 11th December suddenly. I just can’t make it stick in my head. I cannot actually believe he is not coming back. I understand that there has been “bereavement”, I understand “dad” has died, but I don’t and cannot put that together with the idea of my dad. It feels so alien and wrong. I’m so sorry for your losses, this is so, so awful. X
I’m really sorry for your loss 
I lost my dad a year ago this coming January 13th 2023. The pain and sadness I still feel is unbearable. I still can’t believe he is gone.
The closer this date gets the worse I feel.
My grief is worsening all over again, I struggle to talk to those closest to me about it aswell as I hate people seeing me cry. I wish I could see him again but the only time I do is in my dreams now.
I’m so sorry for everyone, 1 year must be really hard. I know life is never the same again. Try and remember the happy times. X
We are all struggling im just numb but today my mum was taken into hospital with pneumonia and an infection (my dad was in hospital at end oct for pneumonia) im so scared she wont make it - she has copd as well. Its only been 3 weeks since dad died and im really struggling.
We have had to cancel dads funeral with her being unwell. Im keeping everything crossed praying that she pulls through. I can loose her too.
That’s awful I’m so sorry. Such a.l lot to deal with in a short space of time. I pray that she pulls through for you too. Try and keep positive for her too.
Hi.
I really feel your pain. I lost my dad in June and have been struggling ever since. Christmas/new year has been horrendous. I really wish i could say something that could help you . Apparently it gets easier with time but im not getting that at all. All i can aay is i know how you feel, your not on your own xxx
Yeah it’s hard today we had his ashes back that was emotional and really hard but in a way he was home. Grief is a strange thing I don’t think I will ever get my head around it x
Hi
I’m so incredibly sorry to have read your story.
Reading your post felt like I was reading about myself. I lost my dad dec 2021 to covid. I also look at the TV but not watching or listening, I prefer silent and alone to company and noise, I sleep to escape the pain. I cry without realising it and the breathtaking pain I feel when I think of him is unbearable. Some days I can look at his photos and others I can’t. His suffering makes me feel sick to the pit of my stomache. I just want him back. I’ve felt so lost since he passed.
A year on and the above is still happening but you learn to live with those feelings and do learn to smile again. I had councelling which helped with the guilt that I feel because I couldn’t help him so I’d recommend that but hasn’t lessened the loss. I do now try to see the loss as a feeling of the love we had and try to feel happy of the wonderful memories I have and how lucky we were to have each other and that helps a little. But nothing will ever stop the loss and craving I get to see him again.
My post won’t help you but it is comforting to know someone else out there is feeling just as you are. You are not alone xx
Thank you it does help me yes, just hearing other people’s stories and how they got through it is a big help xx
I lost my dad on 12th December 2021, i really have struggled this week with the anniversary of his funeral, my patience was very limited, i miss my dad’s voice, i miss his hug’s him telling me he loved me
I’m so sorry - I can’t imagine what that is like - well sort of I can if that makes sense. I watch videos of my dad all the time and have his pictures in my locker so he feels close. It’s hard it really is x