Losing My happily ever after

I lost my girlfriend 2 weeks ago suddenly, I woke up for work and found her body in the bathroom, she had a massive heart attack, she was only just 31. My head just feels like mush, I can’t get the lifeless image of body and the noise leaving her lungs as I gave her CPR. I think I can’t cry anymore and then I see something that reminds me of her and I’m a total mess again. I’m totally heartbroken, she was my happily ever after, I’m sleeping but only just and barely eating because I feel so sick. I face looking at photos of her yet, or hearing her voice because it feels like it smashes what’s left of my broken heart. I tried writing down all our wonderful memories but i just feel even more cheated. I thought I would share my story on here incase anybody can offer me advice.

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Hello Harry
So sorry for your loss
It so bloody hard and heartbreaking
My husband Andy passed December 5th
To COVID Andy was 57 I had been married to Andy 37 years
I cry all the time I walk to the cemetery sobbing my heart out
Please take care xx

Thank you Debbie.
I’m sorry that you lost your husband. I hope you are support around you. I’m glad you got to spend 37 years with him, I hope you have a treasure trove of wonderful memories. I know it doesn’t help and I’m sorry if what I said was in anyway inconsiderate.
Take care x

Hello Harry
Have so many memories but it hurts to think about them
At the min so hard for us all that are left behind
Had a dream about Andy last night
So lovely but woke up sobbing
Please keep talking on the site
As it helps a little
Take care xx

Harry
The advice I was given is take each hour as it comes
Do what you can do x

Thank you Debbie
I dream about her all the time too, I look for her in my sleep.
Thank you for the advice.
Take care x

@Harry89
I’m sorry you lost your girlfriend. Life doesn’t seem at all fair.
As it is so recent you must be in the middle of a whirlwind of emotions. I don’t think any of us the right answers, but we all will know how you are feeling so please do keep posting

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I lost my husband due to heart attack four months ago. I know how you feel. It is just hard to accept and heartbroken. I don’t know how many times I want to be with him but I could not because I am carrying his baby. I would say that you could try talking therapy which it might help.
Take care and sending love xx.

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@RichardM
Thank you just hearing that’s does help.
Yes It’s unexplainable
Thank you

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Thank you @MrsC I know that feeling, i am sorry for your loss and hope you are well.

Harry so sorry that you had to find her like that. Its bad enough loosing someone but someone so young and it was so unexpected.

Most of us on here have an idea what your going through. We all share that sense of shock, loss and a dozen other things that our minds and bodies are going through.

At the very least know that there is someone out there, us, who can fully empathise with what you are going through.

Will not even try to tell you it will get better and the other things people tend to say in these situations but suffice to say that we are with you mate. Hoping for you that things will get more bearable. Feels like it wont but at least know WE are there for you.

Frank

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Hi Harry

Thanks for sharing your story. I to have lost my boyfriend 4 week ago. Unexpected death and the postmortem was inconclusive. I broken beyond belief. I haven’t left my house ( except for the funeral) I’m lost he was 42 I’m 40 this year we had discussed trying for a baby. My future of getting married and be coming s family also died with my boyfriend. I’ve not griefed fully. I can not look at photos and thinking of our happy memories as all I can do is think about what we don’t have. I’m in panics so Alan I feel for you. I hope to find support here.

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Morning
So sorry for your loss
It really is unbearable
Take care always here to talk xx

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@SasBob just sharing on here has helped me, I’m so glad I found this site. I can’t look at pictures yet because it still doesn’t feel fair.

@Frank2 thank you sometimes just people understanding is helpful. Everyone on here has been so wonderful even though they have there own story, I’m glad I joined. I know there’s no magic fix but being heard and talking does help.

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Hi I’m here and walking the crazy road if you need a friend. I’m currently outside for the first time since he died I’m shaky but I’m doing it. He would just say Suck it up buttercup.

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@SasBob thank you and I am here for you aswell.
Ell wouldn’t want me to be sad, unfortunately it doesn’t just work like does it.
I have found being outside helps me for a short while.

She would love to the smile she feel in love with I’m sure. Same as my guy but I can’t smile yet. I had to remove him from my car insurance today. That’s made me cry also his parents are struggling to. He lived with his parents and just stayed at done at weekends and he would meet me at work on a Wednesday he would always have a bunch of flowers so I’m hoping to always have some flowers in the house. I will buy my self some white roses on valentine’s as that is our flower
Breathing is hard and I live with so much guilt. I feel I put pressure on him that killed him. I’m so torn up.

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@SasBob She definitely would, it definitely is but it will come back. I had to change all the bills from her accounts and cancel some in the week, it was so hard because that flat was our home but i can’t face living there anymore. And when I can face going back to work, I will have to start getting the bus again because she was my lift. She wanted to spend every possible waking second with me that she could and so did I. I am going to buy some daffodils on Valentine’s because she loved them and leave them along our favourite walk. I do hope the guilt eases and I’m sure he wouldn’t blame you. I’m here if you need to talk.

Hi harry, I am so sorry to hear that you have had to go through such pain and heartache
I really feel for you! I have only just joined this page recently as my boyfriend died in a freak avalanche nearly 4weeks ago and I cant stop thinking of the morning he left me to have a fun day, which then turned into the worst day of my life.
I also have cried so much that tears no longer come out, then I think im ok and then I see something and go into shock, I cant watch videos or listen to audios as im just not ready to believe its true.
Im slowly learning having good people around you is the best thing, and having a goal to do everyday to try to focus on, for me thats even just trying to make a dinner at the moment
I also feel cheated and angry at qhy this world is so unfair.
Be strong

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