Hi I’m new to this but I lost my husband 7 weeks ago today and I’m devastated. I feel sick all the time and can’t think about anything but him. I don’t know how to cope with this and life has no purpose for me. It’s so difficult and I just cry every day.
Morning
So very sorry for your loss
So heartbreaking for us all
My husband passed December the 5th
Haven’t got a clue how I get out off bed
Just take each hour as it comes
Take care xx
Hi Constance, I’m so sorry for your loss of your husband, it’s devastating to lose somebody so close, to be honest I cried every day for 6 months, then I suddenly realised that it was getting easier, it’s early days, you have just got to take a day at a time, try and keep busy and get out in the fresh air as much as possible, my dog was my life saver in the early days, she made me get out of bed in the morning and go for a walk, I hope you have support from family and friends, sending love Jude x
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Thank you for replying. I’m crying while I reply I just don’t want to go on without him. He was my soulmate and I feel so lost without him. I just want to talk to him to touch him to kiss him. I’m not living I’m existing.
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Constance
You have found the right place, we all have lost either our partner’s or close relatives.
I lost my Tim 4 weeks ago to Covid he to was my best friend and soul mate.
I too feel exactly like you sob uncontrollably, ache for him, knots in my stomach and a pain in my heart that is actually physical.
Try to just get through each day as best you can sometimes I have to just do an hour at a time.
The lovely people on here who are further along with this dreadful journey we didn’t ask for do say it will get easier we will learn how to live with our grief I just hang onto that thought that I will one day learn to live life for the both of us but at present I am truly broken.
Keep posting you will always have support here as these lovely people have helped me enormously.
Julie
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Hi Julie thank you for your reply. My husband was diagnosed with terminal cancer in dec and COVID took him 4 days after my birthday in jan so we have been on this horrendous rollercoaster for 4 months now. I like you feel so broken and in so much pain. It never goes away. I know how you feel and it is good to speak to people who understand. My heart is with you and as you say we need to take all the support we can get
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Hi Constance
So sorry to hear your sad news. My husband Paul died almost 2 weeks ago still can’t believe it. We have to believe it will get easier don’t we so that we can function and carry on. Constant meltdowns and sobbing seem to be the new normal.
Keep safe we are all struggling but hope we can all support each other
Take care Julie
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Hi Julie
The memory of two weeks into this horrible journey is still very fresh in my mind and I really feel for you. It is so difficult waking up every day and it’s so exhausting dealing with the physical pain. It never seems to go away. We just have to hope it gets easier. Although I live alone I have two amazing daughters and 3 lovely grandchildren. They call with me every day but the loneliness is so painful. I could be in a room full of people and still feel extremely lonely because my soulmate is not here. The days feel like weeks and the weeks like years. I am thinking of you and really understand how hard this is.
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Hi Constance
So sorry for you loss. I lost my husbsnd 23rd Feb, after Metastic Melanoma spread to his brain. He had a brain bleed July 2020 and this paraylised his left side. I stayed home as worked full time. He did amazing, but slowly the awful desease took him.
I struggle with him at the mortuary whilst I am at home.
There is no " how to cope" after such sad loss. In all this Covid makes things harder, I was proud we shielded & my hubby or us ( my daughter & me) never caught Covid.I kept a diary throughout my hubbys illness, I think I had wrote every emotion in it, was my escape. I find walking helps, I knit when sitting watching TV in the evening. I have just ordered a little memory book of photos with my hubby.
Are you working? and are you giving time for you.? I really get your feeling sick I do the same, I now fill in a 5 minute journel when I feel I need to, it has made me feel a little better.
My best tonic is talking, I call my sis in law, we grew closer especially the last 7 months. But I feel I need to be in this charity to see people who have been in my position. It is devastating.
I hope you can manage to find a way to cope. Always here to share and to anyone else who is also struggling.
Stay positive, its heartbreaking but you are special too, we all need time to find ourselves again. Big Hugs xx
Reading through the above posts I feel for you all. My partner died towards the end of 2020. Please know that all the feelings you are experiencing, although frightening, are part of the grief thing. Some of the things lessen off. I was nauseous all the time, but now the nausea is usually just first thing in the mornings. I wake every day, realise again I am on my own, and am hit with a sledgehammer again. I didn’t eat initially, which caused health problems. I was in danger of losing my sight, so I had to make myself eat little bits during the course of the day. Egg on toast was a good easy quick thing to make, add some baked beans or spinach to it and it was a meal! I am now ok with food. Don’t eat as much as I did when my partner was here, but I am eating. I made up a batch of shepherd’s pies and froze them, so they are a good standby if I cannot be bothered to cook. I have had to go back to work. That was hard. I was a workaholic, but do not enjoy it now. My brain cannot multitask anymore. Needs must though, as the bills need to be paid. It does give me some contact with other people too which can be a mixed blessing. I go out for walks, usually via the cemetery to touch base with my partner, take flowers, and just stand there and think about what we shared. I have been trying to make the grave look nice, but it was a mass of clay, large stones etc and looked awful. I bought a bag of topsoil to try and put on there this weekend to see if I could improve it. However, the cemetery workers have put topsoil on top during this week. They have also carefully placed back on the grave the items I had put there. It looks so much better! That was a high spot for me this week. The relief brought me to tears.
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Hi everyone thank you all for the messages. It does help to share. My daughters and my sister are amazing but I feel I’m dragging them down into my grief all the time and I don’t feel that is right so I try and put a brave face on for them (doesn’t always work) and then I just fall apart when they leave. My husband was from England and I am from Ireland which is where we lived. His sisters, brothers and our friends are brilliant but again I don’t want to be crying every time I ring them. I feel so alone. Wong like you I just stopped eating and lost a stone in weight very quickly (I’m not very big anyway so I couldn’t afford to lose any more weight but I have put a few pounds back on. My husbands ashes are still with the undertaker as I can’t get the courage to collect them it seems so final. Maybe next week. Does anyone know if the sick feeling every leaves you. Sorry for the long rant but I’m having a very bad morning. My thoughts are with you all
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Hi Constance
I can feel sick in the mornings, I even cooked pancakes the other morning & played some of favourite music. Then I thought “go get ready” , I did this, didnt hang about looking in my hubbys wardrobe at his clothes, just got showered & dressed. That day it worked, I actually coped better sorting out phone calls, arranging his funeral. Of course later, I rewarded myself by opening his wardrobe & sniffing his shirts. I can hear his voice now laughing at me, wait till I wear his shirts to paint in, then I might hear him say, " not bad, not bad work at all Wife" 
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Good morning Ladies
This is my first morning without my girls here as usual woke during the night and again at 5am. I see Debs was sniffing her husbands clothes, I’m glad I am not the only one! We arranged the funeral this week which was draining. Today is 2 weeks since it happened and Monday will be 2 weeks since they removed the ventilator and we watched him pass away. Crying again now still feels like some bad dream.
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Morning Julie
I sleep in Tim’s t shirt that he wore to hospital.
I confess to even using his toothbrush.
My heart is still hurting with knots in my stomach.
Well done for getting through the night small steps.
Since we were getting married on 18th June I have decided to change my name legally to Quarterman my Tim would be happy with that.
Happy thoughts to your all,
Julie
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Hi Julie
That was a lovely thing to do. I’m sure your Tim would be so pleased. I’m not at the point were I can even look at my husband’s things. It hurts too much to think he will never wear them or use them again
Thinking of you all
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Hello Constance,
I know exactly how you are feeling. My husband was diagnosed with aggressive lung cancer in October last year and it took his life in December 
. Out of those two horrible months, we missed our last wedding anniversary together and my birthday together. He was in hospital and I couldn’t visit because of covid. He finally came home on the Monday after my birthday and passed away on the Thursday, just seven days after my birthday. We actually only had four days together he died before Christmas so I had to spend that alone. I really don’t know how I am carrying on. My husband said to keep my faith in God and that he will always be with me . But its so very hard.
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Hi Nichola
I’m so sorry about your husband. It must have been terrible for you at Christmas. I don’t know how you got through. My husband was also diagnosed with aggressive lung cancer on the 1 dec and was in hospital for 3 weeks. I was fortunate to spend every day with him and he was discharged for Xmas. It was hard even with him still with us at that time as we knew it was terminal and he had a short time. They did give him some treatment to try and give him more time but he was in and out of hospital right up to the 10 jan when they let him home and on my birthday on the 11th the hospital phoned to say a patient on his tested positive for Covid. My husband tested positive on the 14th and died in hospital on the 15th jan. it still feels like a bad nightmare and I can’t find any joy in anything. It’s our granddaughters 3rd birthday today and he had a special bond with her. He would have loved to be here today to watch her open her presents. She seems to have grown up so much in the last 2 months and he would have loved her chatter. Like everyone going through this I just miss him so much. I’m trying to get up every morning and do things but nothing takes away the pain.
Oh Constance, it is such an awful situation to go through they say after the funeral it gives you a certain closure, but that just isn’t true. I haven’t been able to talk to anyone else in a similar situation, and my family are very good, but they don’t seem to understand the overwhelming grief. I am so pleased to have found this forum, but also really sad to hear of your suffering too xx
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Hi its Jackie again, I feel exactly the same, I just don’t know what to say to help you
Other people think that the funeral gives you closure, but as you know it’s just not true, if anything it gets more difficult, up to the funeral you are busy making all the arrangements, then nothing, it does get easier in time, but it can take a long time xx
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