Hello. Sadly lost my wife a week before Christmas. I understand my feelings are very raw at the moment. I went back to work this week which seemed to help. Its i find myself wanting to ring, text and send pictures to my wife, am constantly thinking about her and find that am talking to her aloud at her picture. Am really struggling to accept she’s gone, i find myself crying at the silliest things at times. I can’t stop thinking about when she was in hospital. I feel so alone, hurt and enormously sad.
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Sorry for your loss, mate. I’m six months as of tomorrow (July 27th). I work offshore and also went back to work relatively soon after I lost my beautiful wife. It helped me a lot. I work with great people for the main part and it helps to have a bit of “normality”. I completely understand about the phoning and messaging. I still want to send her things that made me laugh and give her a call when I finish and check in on things at home. It is so tough. Take care.
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Hi mate sorry for your loss too. Am glad its not just me with the messages etc. Its so hard i want to go all the places ive been with my wife, i know it sounds daft but I’ll get upset at these places i just know i will.
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I lost my husband the week before Christmas 2022 and still find that I want to ring him and tell him about things that I have done. The year has felt like a daze and can’t remember much about it either. This 2nd is not as raw but I still cry and miss my husband terribly and the future that we should have. Keeping busy is a distraction and filling up your time. You seem to be going in the right direction going back to work though with choppy waters along the way. Take care every one and take one day at a time and try not to look into the future as the future has not arrived yet and we can’t control the future like we couldn’t control the past. Big hugs xx
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I’ve kept my partner’s phone contract active and send her messages all the time
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I still sit at the end of the bed and tell her about my day, just before I go to bed. It doesn’t make me feel upset or morbid, just feels like I’m filling her in on what has happened to us all. Whatever feels like the right thing to do, is the right thing to do. There is no instruction manual for this.
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Yes I did that for a long time but recently only on special occasions as I found it hard that I didn’t get a reply back. Every day I talk to my husband and often reply what he would say back to me Xx
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Yeah, I do that too. I know exactly what she would say at any given time.
We were the stereotypical “finish each other’s sentences” couple 
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It definitely doesn’t sound daft to visit important places. It would have been our 31st anniversary last October and I made a point of driving to the church we were married in at the exact time of our wedding just to mark the occasion and tell her “I do” again. Still.
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I am 10mths on and getting on with my life but still it all feels strangely like it happened in another lifetime. I feel like I live in a time warp crossing constantly from the past to the present. I look at photo’s of him and think where are you? How can you just be a photo in a frame? I read our WhatsApp messages and it’s like he’s just in the next room. My life is just like I am living in a dream where none of it is real or actually existed?. I am like 2 different people living in one body, the old me and the new me, so who actually am I now? My history has also gone with him as he knew me for 54yrs. I feel like nobody knows me now. The house is empty and lifeless, everything frozen in time, his DNA everywhere, every room, our bed, our sofa, everything but not him. I open the cupboard and see his mug there knowing it will never be used again. It’s all so tragically sad
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We all talk about grieving the loss of our loved one’s but does anyone else feel they are actually grieving for the loss of themselves too? weird I know but I’m grieving the loss of me as well
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Very much so, yes. When you are part of a strong relationship it it feels like you lose part of your identity, as well as all the love, trust, experiences, memories, laughs and tears you shared with each other. It is just awful.
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I sat down the other day and this hit me very deeply and powerfully “I’m nobody’s priority now”
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Hi , I often think and say ,I’m a nobody now in a nothing world . I will never be that special person , that my husband would think of and smile .never feel the love that my husband gave me ,just for being me . He understood my ways and loved me for them . …also I don’t like this me I have turned into . I was always happy full of life ,full of fun , now I’m just a misery ,with no filter, anyone upsets me now I just say what’s on my mind , what’s the worst that could happen , it already has . ! All xtake carex
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Hi Dave,
You truly are not alone, mate!! I lost my wife of 26 years in November. I do the same things as you. Still say good morning, still say goodnight, talk to her as if she was there.
I can be at my office and go to call her then realise.
I think now i am at a relief stage whereby i am at peace that she is out of pain and not suffering any longer. Its still difficult. I feel hurt and sad like yourself. Its her favourite songs too that bring things crashing home that she is gone. I dont get upset, but just miss seeing her dance about and being happy. Hope you are ok. Stay strong.
David.
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Hiya, I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my amazing partner the week before Christmas too and I’m desperately trying to pick up the pieces of my life without him. I still have his phone and I actually WhatsApp him when I have stuff to tell him. It helps.
I am due to return to work soon and I am dreading it but I have to find a new normal. I also cry randomly: recently it was over the ready meals in Booth’s! They had to give a a cup of tea in the cafe before I could carry on. How embarrassing. Sharing on here helps a lot and reading threads from others in the same boat. You are not alone. Take care and be kind to yourself x
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Bless you. I went into town this morning for the first time, i had to go to the bank. Everywhere i went reminded me of my wife, all the shops, coffee shops, couldn’t bring myself to go for a coffee, i juust wondered aimlessly getting more upset. Finally got to car and burst out crying. Maybe it was to early. Hard enough going back to week this week, maybe to much in one week. We just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary in September too. I just feel so alone and miss my wife so so much x
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Dwj i do the same in the morning and at night as well .it gives me a lot of comfort especially as its coming up to a year since my gorgeous beautiful late wife sue took the next part of her journey
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Hi Trucker sorry to hear about your wife. I’ve just lost my husband just before Christmas and I don’t know how to be a human being anymore. Initially there was a flurry of concern but I find myself sobbing and lonely on a Saturday night
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Hi Teary so sorry to hear about your husband. I know excatly how you feel. It was all visits and phone calls for the first couple of weeks and now its nothing, feels like am left to get on with it on my own, its like there bit is done.
Wekends seem more lonley than other nights.
Keep chatting on here we will support each other x
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