Losing my wife, 1 month on

So sorry to hear that, there’s never a good time to lose someone but so close to Christmas seems to make it much worse.
You’ll get plenty of support here, I know I have.
Just put your thoughts down were all here for each other.

3 Likes

Its been a year today since I lost my gorgeous beautiful late wife sue to cancer.I feel so lost and alone without sue .i made sue a promise to carry on fighting for life and some days i want to give up but I can hear sue saying come on you got this and i will honour my promise to my gorgeous beautiful wife sue .also I would like to thank you all for pulling me through the hard times

7 Likes

@Martyn2
So sorry to hear about your wife. Hope you are doing ok today. I lost my wife to Breast Cancer back in November. Not a day goes by that i don’t miss her. Like you, i want to give up sometimes. What stops me is the fact that Norm had such a zest for life. To roll over and give up would be an insult to her memory. Yes, its hard, and some days are better than others, but i am determined to get through this and come out of it a more resilient person living a life that we both loved.

5 Likes

David67 .had a quiet day today watching our favourite films east is east and cuddling up with Teddy and George our two dogs

3 Likes

I couldn’t agree more. Some days are tougher than others for sure, and sometimes for no apparent reason. My wife made me promise to be strong and carry on for the kids and myself. Some days I really need to gee myself up for it, but I feel I would be letting her down if I just gave up on doing things we enjoyed together and things that I can still enjoy. I’ve started going to gigs again - my son accompanies me now, which she would have loved. I still cycle a lot, something she didn’t do personally but supported me wholeheartedly when it became the obsession it still is today. A big step for me will be going on holiday - not quite there yet but working towards it.

Best to everyone.

4 Likes

Well done you for going to gigs again, that’s something we loved doing, but I haven’t been able to fo yet. Take care

3 Likes

I feel your painTruckerDave I lost my husband to cancer 8 weeks ago I can’t accept he has gone. He spent occasional day’s in hospital but died at home. I keep imagining he is in hospital and he will be back. I threw an old pair of his shoes out recently and suddenly thought oh no what if he comes back and wants his shoes. I feel my life is over as well i don’t want to wake in the morning. We were together over 50 years. People say it will get easier, but all i can see is heartache :broken_heart:

6 Likes

Ann69.i still keep expecting my gorgeous beautiful late wife sue to ring me and tell me what she wants bringing in for her when we went to see sue in hospital .still expecting sue to be downstairs in the morning when she couldn’t sleep x

3 Likes

@Martyn2
I know how you are feeling. I still go to call Norm from work. I still expect to see her on the sofa or go to talk to her!! How can we not do that? Our wives, husbands, partners were so significant to us that we cant shut those behaviours off after a few weeks or months, not when we had many years doing them!!

3 Likes

Ann69 so sorry for your loss, its a horrible disease is cancer.
I know what your feeling am struggling to accept my wife is gone, i keep thinking I’ll get a call or text from her in the hospital, but it never comes :cry:
It’s too early for me to start to even think of throwing anything away, i found half a packet of chewing gum. it’s in my bedside drawer now and will still there for, who knows how long.
People say the old clichés and in a way I understand that, but they annoy me, its like its a taboo subject. I rather they Ask me about my wife and I will go on and on, because I am so proud of her.

Its very raw at the moment and its hard to say that the heartache will get easier, personally it wont, Janet was my life and a big piece of me is gone too. x

2 Likes

I fantasise - genuinely fantasise - about her just walking into the room or seeing her through the window getting tore into her latest project in the garden, her favourite thing in the world (after me, hopefully!!). The feeling of loss is just indescribable to anyone who has not experienced it.

4 Likes

I feel for every one who has lost their beloved partner. The sadness, loneliness, telling her all that’s happened and what is planned, little reminders in everything around you making one despair. I say to myself “what would my wife want me to do” - “make a new life and love every minute of it for my sake”.
This I try to do but it is so very hard.

8 Likes

@Hopefully It’s a very difficult loss to face, all of those moments trapped in the everyday, they haunt at first but they can bring joy, they do for me now. This road is a rough bastard, but it gets easier to navigate, be patient with yourself, you’ll get to the new life it just takes time and effort. I just keep trying, see what works, what doesn’t, keep going, keep coming on here. We find a way to carry them with us.

3 Likes

I’m still new to this having lost my husband at Christmas but even now I look at his photo and see a Man frozen time, so I get exactly what you are saying everything that existed right up until the night he died was another life, another world, another universe. And that thing too about nobody knowing me now, so true, and I don’t want to know this new life this new world this new universe I hate it, If I didn’t have children I really would look for a way out of this strange world.

4 Likes

Hi
, i am in the same place as you, lost Kathy 9 Dec 24, i have placed pictures up in most rooms, i have also made a little space in the lounge where i go and talk to Kath, tell her i love her and what i am hopping to achieve today and in evenings tell what i have done and tell her i love her. This is helping me but i still miss her so very much, still hopeful that she will walk back k into the lounge

8 Likes

Sorry for your loss it’s still fresh and raw for you so it will take time continue grief is live with no place to go still talk to her she will listen and always been with you my angel had been gone nearly 7 months and it still hurts me when I look at his pics our pics etc I feel your pain

2 Likes

I also have my husbands photos around the house. I talk to the one in my bedroom and tell him what has been happening
I look after my 4 year old grandaugter in the afternoons. When.she goes home she always picks up his photo in my hall and kisses him and says bye grandad i love you, grandad, she hasnt asked where he is yet.

6 Likes

That’s adorable and heartbreaking at the same time

4 Likes

I too went back to work quickly- but it gave me purpose routine and company so pleased I did.
It’s almost a year since I lost my husband and I still have some bad days but take one day at a time.

3 Likes

Ann69.i do the same thing with photos of my gorgeous beautiful late wife sue and tell her what sort of day its been. Teddy one of our two dogs sit growling softy at night

3 Likes