Only been four months but i feel like it’s been forever. The heartache is over powering at times, she was taken away from me very quickly. Never really had time
take it all in.
She was my rock and we were together all the time. I don’t like mornings or nights with the emptiness. Just stuck in time.
7 Likes
Hi Silverfox, welcome to the club no one wants to join, but has no choice. I’m sorry to hear you lost your wife last year, and I too lost mine suddenly and unexpectedly in November. We’re all a friendly, helpful bunch on here. We laugh and cry with and for each other. We share our problems, fears, tears and pretty much everything else too. I’m on another post where we’ve just been discussing a frozen toilet and how to fix it, the problems encountered with lawyers, and so many other things. We’re just here for each other.
It’s strange, for me it seems ages ago, yet it also seems like yesterday. And yes, the heartache is never ending, I’m still in tears almost every day, and miss her madly.
It will get easier to bear, but the pain never really goes away, just dulls a bit I feel.
Take care of yourself, don’t try to do too much, and let the emotions out. There’s only a few men on here, but from my experience, the women have been most understanding and helpful. Everyone knows how we feel as we’re all treading the same path.
Kind regards
Nigel
3 Likes
Guess I’ve been dragged in as well having lost the love of my life 4 weeks ago. Early retirement to enjoy our lives together became a 3 year battle against cancer after just a few weeks. So bloody cruel.
I don’t know what I hope to get from being here but even if it’s just a couple of minutes respite then it’s worth it. So sorry to meet you all in these awful circumstances.
4 Likes
@silverfox
So sorry you are here - the place no one wants to be, I lost my husband on 8 October he was only 56.
It is incredibly tough for you and I hope you find words of comfort here, as well as support.
It is so raw for you. My strategy was/is just to ‘roll with it’ whichever emotion decides to knock on your door, accept it, and let it in. Don’t fight it, as the emotion will win, every time.
One day in the future, whenever that may be, you will live at one with your grief, and one day, it will be ok. Not yet, but one day.
Best wishes.
Helen
3 Likes
Im so sorry for your loss, its been 9 weeks since I lost my beloved husband, i agree with you about the days and nights being lonely, I only had 4 weeks with him after his cancer diagnosis so I understand what your going through.
3 Likes
Thanks for all your kind words it certainly
a way forward with the grieving process.
3 Likes
Hello you guys.first time posting…literally just saw an ad on tv…i have just lost my wife of 30years…due to sepsis related organ failure.after her goi ng thru major heart surgery2years ago.after xmas and new year now family and friends get back to their lives which is totally understandable i know…its hard…and feeling so anxious.like its hard to even breath and think straight?
2 Likes
So sorry to find you on here - certainly not where any of us want to be.
Hard to work out where/how to start after what must have been an awful couple of years.
We go on though, because we have to even if we see no point.
It’s made all the harder when others turn back to their old lives.
Good luck moving forward, whenever you feel ready… no matter how long it takes. Until then, don’t hide away, use here as a good starting point.
2 Likes
Hi Eddie, lost my wife of 20 years on 6th January. She was on a ventilator for just over two weeks before she passed. I had one day with her off the ventilator, but it was too hard for her to breathe without it, and then went into multiple organ failure and pnuemonia. She had an auto-imune condition which affecred her liver, and was due a transplant any day. Sadly she did not get the chance of another 20-30 years with me. I never once thought that I would lose her, and I am devastated to have done so.
Since then I have been a mixture of every emotion you can think of. I know I will eventually make it through, but am not looking forward to the future without her. People will always be on here to help if they can. I think there is no easy or set way to get through it, it is just one day at a time, with whatever helps ease some of the pain.
4 Likes
I feel your pain. I lost my wife of 42 years in January. Similar story with ventilator and multi organ failure after a week and a half after being taken off the ventilator. I just don’t know how I will ever cope
1 Like
I know exactly how you feel. I feel that i am just going through the motions at the moment. I have just thrown the information away from King’s College Hospital, where she would have had her transplant that might have given us an extra 20-30 years. I ended up crying because we were so close to it, and then was so cruelly snatched away.
I just feel lost at the moment. Everything hurts.
2 Likes
You will find your way again just not as quickly as you want .
Take care 
1 Like
Not so sure about ever finding my way again. Not even sure if I want to do anything anymore.
I’m searching for places to go where I can meet people face to face who are going through the same thing. Reading these comments make me realise that I’m not alone but it’s difficult to have good conversations on a message board
3 Likes
PSMh3 - You will my friend, it takes time.
Numb1. I understand - I’ve yet to try face to face meetings with counsellors, as I’m finding this online forum does what I need. At least at present.
Take care my friend. Nigel
It so so hard, I’m struggling too still especially with evenings , I have 4 children missing they dad so hold it all in till they go bed if I can, even tho I do let it out sometimes to let them know it’s ok to be sad , ppl are saying I’m young and will find someone new but it’s not what I want , I tried that but he was abusive , I really feel for you all , I wouldn’t wish this on anyone xx
1 Like
I too have 4 children, although grown up with children of their own. I can’t begin to imagine your situation, and how they all miss their dad. People do meet new partners, but at the moment that’s not something I or most on here are even thinking about.
People who haven’t experienced the loss we have, have not the slightest idea what we are going through. We don’t want a replacement partner - the one we had was the love of our life. But however much we want them back, we know that’s not possible.
In time, maybe we will meet someone we can love again, but I guarantee, we’ll never stop loving the one we have lost now.
Much love to everyone. Nigel
Thanks Nigel. I don’t feel counselling would suit me although I might be wrong. I’d like to find a local group of people in the same situation to chat with
@Numb1 There is another forum called 'Way Up’ which has regular meets all over the UK, many of the members get together to chat, and have lunch, and what have you. Perhaps that will be helpful for you? (Just looking through the forum, and it seems there have been quite a few meets in Basingstoke and surrounding areas)
Best wishes
Helen